I notice that people just automatically post here because it is the first board.

If you can't find your post over the next few days it is because I will be moving posts to the relevant boards.

Yay.

I remember my first time here and I was wondering if I should just post in the first forum I saw.

Good luck with the moving! That's a lot of work. Thank you for doing it! The renovation of this section will be nice.

i cant send u a PM but goodnight

Aw, neat. I often get confused in which area to post topics so I find this is the easiest one to do, ehe. Thanks Victoria, I'm sure the forum will be a lot more organized after this.

Thank you Victoria for the time to do this stuff

My pleasure... I like things to be organised.

BTW, lovely manners, DG.








You're welcome.




Thank you for your appreciation, Dot.

yeah my manners pop out from time to time

dont expect it to be a frequent thing tho

I have no expectations about you at all...

Then I expect you will feel no disappointment when it comes to me.

When what comes to you?

When a situation involving me comes about.

Your expectation (!) is correct.

I wasn't expecting that conversation...

Good. And don't delete these posts, they'll come in handy in case you ever say I'm a great disappointment.

You don't know me very well!

EDIT: The only person you can ever really be a great disappointment to is yourself, DG.

That's okay. I'm one step ahead. It's already saved in a document on my computer.

Yes, I'm this crazy.



Strongly disagree with that.

It's good to be prepared.

But if you lived in Oz you'd know that we are all aware just how easy it is to amend files, emails, posts etc!

I totally respect your right to disagree.

Admittedly, there were times in the past I was exasperated by you and even a bit disgusted with your constant self-immolation, but I've gone past that.

I realised quickly there was no point.

I thought you would have noticed by now that I ignore a lot of your negative posts and mostly respond with rewards for your 'better' behaviour.

Oh don't think that knowledge only exists in the land of Oz. But I'm hoping maybe somebody would trust me to know I wouldn't do something like that in a situation like this.


You proved my point. You were dissapointed in me at one point. Just because you aren't anymore does not magically erase past feelings. You were dissapointed that I was that way and you can use as many different big words like exasperated to make it seem like these feelings were different than dissapointed but I know the truth! haha.


I'm very proud of you Victoria.

Good job.

LOL

Do you think I haven't saved everything?

I look at it this way... someone acts in a particular way, I CHOOSE how to respond. If I choose to be frustrated (can't truly agree on disappointed -- sorry, have to stand my ground there) that's my decision and should not be seen as the other person's action creating my emotion rather my choice of response or reaction.

Get it?

Same as if I do or say something and the other person is hurt or offended or whatever, that's their choice.

Excuse me saying this, and well, actually why am I worried? You will choose not to be offended by this, anyway.

Choosing your emotions like that seem a little robotic and inhuman to me.

If someone passes away, you choose to feel sad. If you receive a kiss by someone you love, you think about it and then decide to choose to be happy. I don't know it doesn't seem healthy at all...

That's not exactly how it works, but it does seem like that doesn't it?

Remember what Dot said about me (and I think she has come closest to seeing me than anyone else here has): "Victoria has a will of steel."

True.

Maybe I am a replicant!

For being a psychic I just find it hard to think you don't let your emotions act the way they are supposed to instead of block whatever your instinct emotion is and kind of make yourself feel differently.

If I am off about this, could you explain any more?

Later... time to teach English now!

I don't want you to twist my meaning around. I don't want you to think your emotions are supposed to be uncontrolled, but it seems very odd that you are controlling them to a point where they lose it's meaning.

Deciding to be happy, destroys the purpose of it really being a feeling. Seems like a command your whipping your body into thinking.

A feeling should sometimes be involuntary I think. Something that might be unexpected and a lot of wise people seem to find beauty in the unexpected aspects of life. You are psychic though, so I don't know how well you could relate to that.

I think its about choosing how you are affected by your emotions, not choosing the actual emotions.

So then Victoria does feel dissapointed by others because it is an emotion.

But decides not to react by commenting back?

DG, I'm sure that you've tried to control your emotions as well, and you must have realized that it really does not work very well.
I'm pretty tired, so hopefully someone else will pick up the conversation or maybe I will elaborate tomorrow, but for me it is about re-framing my perspective. So for example if someone is intentionally trying to hurt me, then it will make me angry for sure. But if instead I consider that they are insecure, and that is why they are being a jerk, then I won't feel angry but instead will feel bad for them, in which case I can wish that they grow as a person and in the end I am sending them approval. Because I was there once too, insecure and taking it out on others.

That's finding a reason to feel otherwise. You must feel angry before you find a reason to feel calm in a situation like that.

And that goes back to what I said before.

You can't erase the fact that you WERE dissapointed. You can not be dissapointed anymore. But you WERE.

Now it sounds like the whole purpose of this conversation is me trying to prove you wrong and I bring that up because I have the feeling someone will say that about me. Someone always has something to say about me haha.

I am trying to understand what Victoria's way of thinking when it comes to emotions and what you said, while trying to back up Victoria's posts, kind of contradicts them at the same time.

She says she simply chooses how to feel about the situation instead of look into why she should feel differently.

If she DOES do that, then I guess I misread or it wasn't clear enough to assume something like that.

I've shifted this reply to my blog.

so it's like blanking out any emotions that you no longer want... like "no i will NOT be upset/agitated because of this/that"



*thumbs up* i really like that

Sort of... more like this:

I FEEL (insert) AND IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO FEEL THIS, BUT... I DON'T HAVE TO RETAIN IT.

I CAN RELEASE IT AND REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING THAT SERVES ME BETTER.

Thanks.

lol

ive just heard from my boyfriend, that he has got 3 As and the rest Bs, for his GCSE

but THAT thing you just said, has to be the best thing ive heard so far today LOL.
thats so inspirational
thanks
x


EDIT: sorry! I've fixed it now have I?

(Let's try again, shall we! I must be tired... it's late and I haven't eaten yet...)



That is a great result... I love the sound of that "my boyfriend". Meg's got a boyfriend!



You're welcome * hug *

haha. yeh. my boyfriend........................................................ man i wanna keep saying that lol.




haha tis k

Of course you like that.

I'm no psychic but I feel like you like to kiss **** too.

After re-framing a couple of times, suddenly I have found that I no longer need to do it. With the example I gave next time someone believes they are being mean to me the thought won't even cross my mind that they are, and I will only have approval for them. So I would also imagine that because Victoria decided to change her feelings with you, the next time another "dorky guy" comes along, she will be happy to find that she only has acceptance for him or her. In other words, once again you have helped us grow! Thank you DG!

Although I agree that DG has helped me to practise my self-awareness it was not DG who prompted this approach.

It was something I started to do years ago. But, yes, I acknowledge and thank you for the chance to refine this technique, DG. Kai don't have any expectations about me though! I'm only human after all.

excuse me?

or, DG, i really liked what she said.

Well, without sounding big-headed that's what I thought you meant. I mean what would you have to gain?!?