I am new to posting on this forum and I am a little worried about posting about my dog, but please try to take me seriously, okay?
I know it seems really dumb to some people but my dog Molly and I truly have been the very best of friends for 11 years. Honestly I think she took care of me as much as I did her.
I got her when I was 20 years old. I am 31 now and just lost her to cancer only days ago. Well, Wed. the 19th. It was a hard fought battle, I tried chemo. I did everything I could afford for her. But it wasn't enough. I definitely feel like I failed her. Well, I did! I need to let that go. Anyway, she got so bad her last 4 days or so. Everyday was a little worse until she could no longer stand or walk. I looked into her eyes on Monday (though I am not psychic, well not very much at least. I've only had a few prophetic dreams) I was sure that she told me (I don't know how to describe it) that she was ready. She needed to go. So, I put her down last Wed. I played comforting music for her, held her in my arms as she passed away. I tried to send her off with love. As best as I know how anyway. I don't have a lot of experience with death. I did absolutely feel when she left, though. There was a definite emptiness in the room. As cheesy as the phrase might be she did look peaceful afterward.
I have had several other dogs through out my life and I loved all of them dearly. But with her...she was just special. Our relationship was special. She has really been THE ONLY constant in my life for all these years. I feel half empty since she died. I know it hasn't been long so I need a lot of time, I'm sure. I miss her dearly.
But what bothers me more than anything is, after being totally joined at the hip for all these years and me knowing exactly what she is doing, what mood she is in, whats going on with her at all times, basically....now I don't even know where she is! I pray that she is all right. I want her to know I will always love her. I hope she still loves me too. I don't know how all this works. I am really really hoping that she is not just "gone" now. You know? That her spirit is happy and alive somewhere. That hopefully when it's my time I will see her again. I have read online these last few days about people having very close relationship to their pets and their pets will sometimes come back to them a few days after they die to let them know they are well. But she never came. I have been hoping for a dream too, as I always have very vivid dreams and remember every detail when I wake up. Colors, smells everything. But oddly since the day after she died I haven't remembered one dream. It's so odd.
Do you guys think it does any good to still be praying for her? To talk to her out loud? Can she even hear me?
Some prayers and some insight would be more appreciated than you know.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Picure of Molly
Full Version: I think I need some help....
A golden retriever? (Or is she a labrador?) Isn't this deja-vu, if I've seen anything of it.
I am sorry about your loss, but you're right, it was her time to go. I'm sure she can hear you and feel your love. I'm sure she appreciates it. However, this communication will not last forever - it is undesirable. It's not the time to hold onto lost things. Nothing comes out of it but grief. But perhaps grief is what you need at the moment. Please, I will tell you my story.
Five or six years ago I lost my dog, well, the family's dog. She was all of ours, she was a part of us. Golden retriever, been around since before I was born, and we were almost the same age. Of course, the life span of a dog is shorter than that of humans; or maybe they are because we treat them a certain way? No. That's not it. Nonetheless, we lost her to cancer. It was a rare type which barely appeared in dogs - it made odd welts and bumps appear on her body and she couldn't walk. She couldn't see - she was blind, and she was nearly deaf. But we cried and petted her in those days where she was dying. One day we got her put down, because we felt that was going to be the best thing for her, and I really think it was. I was very sad she left, and gosh, did I cry! We all loved each other, and even though she was deaf, and blind, I knew she could sense our love for her. In a way, it was beautiful. But it was sad too.
That being said, you will see how this is like deja vu for me. A companion - even if a dog - for they don't judge or neglect - gone. It's a beautiful thing. But she's gone. She accepts your love and she loves you but it's her time to go. A companion as such cannot truly be replaced, and with that in mind we give them our respect.
But wounds heal.
And new companionships can be made. She will still have a precious place in your heart - a fond place - but nothing worth chasing after again. Not with her. You understand, don't you? I hope you do. And I hope I have been helpful to you in some way. I don't want to sound harsh, but nor do I want to sound too eager for the situation. I understand your place. You know what you have to do.
I am sorry about your loss, but you're right, it was her time to go. I'm sure she can hear you and feel your love. I'm sure she appreciates it. However, this communication will not last forever - it is undesirable. It's not the time to hold onto lost things. Nothing comes out of it but grief. But perhaps grief is what you need at the moment. Please, I will tell you my story.
Five or six years ago I lost my dog, well, the family's dog. She was all of ours, she was a part of us. Golden retriever, been around since before I was born, and we were almost the same age. Of course, the life span of a dog is shorter than that of humans; or maybe they are because we treat them a certain way? No. That's not it. Nonetheless, we lost her to cancer. It was a rare type which barely appeared in dogs - it made odd welts and bumps appear on her body and she couldn't walk. She couldn't see - she was blind, and she was nearly deaf. But we cried and petted her in those days where she was dying. One day we got her put down, because we felt that was going to be the best thing for her, and I really think it was. I was very sad she left, and gosh, did I cry! We all loved each other, and even though she was deaf, and blind, I knew she could sense our love for her. In a way, it was beautiful. But it was sad too.
That being said, you will see how this is like deja vu for me. A companion - even if a dog - for they don't judge or neglect - gone. It's a beautiful thing. But she's gone. She accepts your love and she loves you but it's her time to go. A companion as such cannot truly be replaced, and with that in mind we give them our respect.
But wounds heal.
And new companionships can be made. She will still have a precious place in your heart - a fond place - but nothing worth chasing after again. Not with her. You understand, don't you? I hope you do. And I hope I have been helpful to you in some way. I don't want to sound harsh, but nor do I want to sound too eager for the situation. I understand your place. You know what you have to do.
QUOTE (Dot @ Aug 29 2009, 01:35 AM) 
A golden retriever? (Or is she a labrador?) Isn't this deja-vu, if I've seen anything of it.
I am sorry about your loss, but you're right, it was her time to go. I'm sure she can hear you and feel your love. I'm sure she appreciates it. However, this communication will not last forever - it is undesirable. It's not the time to hold onto lost things. Nothing comes out of it but grief. But perhaps grief is what you need at the moment. Please, I will tell you my story.
Five or six years ago I lost my dog, well, the family's dog. She was all of ours, she was a part of us. Golden retriever, been around since before I was born, and we were almost the same age. Of course, the life span of a dog is shorter than that of humans; or maybe they are because we treat them a certain way? No. That's not it. Nonetheless, we lost her to cancer. It was a rare type which barely appeared in dogs - it made odd welts and bumps appear on her body and she couldn't walk. She couldn't see - she was blind, and she was nearly deaf. But we cried and petted her in those days where she was dying. One day we got her put down, because we felt that was going to be the best thing for her, and I really think it was. I was very sad she left, and gosh, did I cry! We all loved each other, and even though she was deaf, and blind, I knew she could sense our love for her. In a way, it was beautiful. But it was sad too.
That being said, you will see how this is like deja vu for me. A companion - even if a dog - for they don't judge or neglect - gone. It's a beautiful thing. But she's gone. She accepts your love and she loves you but it's her time to go. A companion as such cannot truly be replaced, and with that in mind we give them our respect.
But wounds heal.
And new companionships can be made. She will still have a precious place in your heart - a fond place - but nothing worth chasing after again. Not with her. You understand, don't you? I hope you do. And I hope I have been helpful to you in some way. I don't want to sound harsh, but nor do I want to sound too eager for the situation. I understand your place. You know what you have to do.
I am sorry about your loss, but you're right, it was her time to go. I'm sure she can hear you and feel your love. I'm sure she appreciates it. However, this communication will not last forever - it is undesirable. It's not the time to hold onto lost things. Nothing comes out of it but grief. But perhaps grief is what you need at the moment. Please, I will tell you my story.
Five or six years ago I lost my dog, well, the family's dog. She was all of ours, she was a part of us. Golden retriever, been around since before I was born, and we were almost the same age. Of course, the life span of a dog is shorter than that of humans; or maybe they are because we treat them a certain way? No. That's not it. Nonetheless, we lost her to cancer. It was a rare type which barely appeared in dogs - it made odd welts and bumps appear on her body and she couldn't walk. She couldn't see - she was blind, and she was nearly deaf. But we cried and petted her in those days where she was dying. One day we got her put down, because we felt that was going to be the best thing for her, and I really think it was. I was very sad she left, and gosh, did I cry! We all loved each other, and even though she was deaf, and blind, I knew she could sense our love for her. In a way, it was beautiful. But it was sad too.
That being said, you will see how this is like deja vu for me. A companion - even if a dog - for they don't judge or neglect - gone. It's a beautiful thing. But she's gone. She accepts your love and she loves you but it's her time to go. A companion as such cannot truly be replaced, and with that in mind we give them our respect.
But wounds heal.
And new companionships can be made. She will still have a precious place in your heart - a fond place - but nothing worth chasing after again. Not with her. You understand, don't you? I hope you do. And I hope I have been helpful to you in some way. I don't want to sound harsh, but nor do I want to sound too eager for the situation. I understand your place. You know what you have to do.
OMG, she was a yellow lab.
So I need to stop talking to her and let her go. Wow, thats hard for me to do. But I will do my best. For her. Whatever is best for her, that's what I want to do.
Can you tell me where she has gone?
Thank you so much
Oh and yes, in that room was the most beautiful and yet saddest thing I have experienced. Both
She's gone... You know, I'm not entirely sure where. There's been much discussion on these forum boards regarding animal spirits and human spirits and if the two, sometime, have the same lives intermingling. That doesn't make much sense, does it? In the many lives a spirit has - its incarnations - does it become an animal too or are there another set of spirit groups entirely? Maybe I'm thinking too much about it, but the question seems valid. I guess I could go with either one, but there's something about it.
I'm not sure where she has gone, but I can tell you it is someplace good and well. Someplace where she is happy. Maybe she will reincarnate again, but if she will, it is unlikely you will meet such a spirit again - at least in this life time. Letting go is for your benefit just as much as hers. I suppose you could say she didn't die to have you hanging onto her forever. You know what I mean, I hope.
Yes, it is hard. But it's for the best. You know? I hope you found what you were looking for. I am glad to have been of service. Molly was a good dog. The very last thing you want in this life is to be alone, but don't worry, you won't be.
I'm not sure where she has gone, but I can tell you it is someplace good and well. Someplace where she is happy. Maybe she will reincarnate again, but if she will, it is unlikely you will meet such a spirit again - at least in this life time. Letting go is for your benefit just as much as hers. I suppose you could say she didn't die to have you hanging onto her forever. You know what I mean, I hope.
Yes, it is hard. But it's for the best. You know? I hope you found what you were looking for. I am glad to have been of service. Molly was a good dog. The very last thing you want in this life is to be alone, but don't worry, you won't be.
Sounds like the dog had a good life and a good death. I'd sure like to go in the arms of a loved one. Honour your dog by spreading the love you felt for her into other areas of your life. That'll keep her spirit alive.
Dear Stricken,
I just had a look at Molly's pic that you posted the link to. Oh, she’s beautiful. She was one happy dog. So free to be herself and so surrounded by love. What a personality. Oh no she wouldn’t have wanted to continue on in that awful state of indignity that her condition brought upon her. You helped her. You did the right thing.
I don’t know where she is, just as I don’t know where Sunshine and the boys are when they are not hanging around us, but I bet she is running somewhere on a beach or through a field or along the path of a park running ahead and then looking back to see if you are catching up!
I know that you will sense her presence before too long and that you will feel some comfort knowing that something of her prevails. Talking to her and praying for her sound like normal loving responses. They can't hurt her and who know they may go out into the Universe and call her to you.
Dear oh dear, oh dear... your name says it all. * hug *
I love dogs and enjoy the company of friends’ canine pals, but I think there’s dog people and cat people. I am definitely a cat person.The pets I had were cats… but that doesn't mean I cannot understand the way you feel.
One lived to be 19, one was run over very young and the other died when he was 17. The two boys died in my arms. They had been in our family for so long that we thought they would live forever!
I can’t imagine what life would have been like without them. We moved around a lot during those years. Our lives were in regular upheaval and things were often challenging to say the least. If there was one source of stability for us amidst the turmoil it was the unconditional love that they gave us.
Sunshine was killed when she was only a few years old. After a volatile beginning punctuated by much hissing and snarling Kashmir (sometimes spelled Cashmere depending on the aspect of him I am reminiscing about) deigned to let her join the family. They became best buddies and he sat on her grave in our garden under the lilac tree for two weeks after we buried her... just sat there all day. He didn't sleep or recline, just sat there like Bast guarding her spirit or something.
Kashmir died next.
He didn’t want to go.
It broke my heart when his last meow came out sounding like an anguished “Muuuuuuuum!” He’d been such a good mate.Oh, just like any pet lover I have volumes of pet tales tucked away in my repertoire but I am tired having been at school all day and then coming home to two students immediately after that I don’t think I have the energy to write much more than these few things I want to share: they both come to me in dreams when I ask them to if I need some support or a kitty kat cuddle; and there have been times when they sit on the bed or the sofa next to me and I feel their body weight as they sink into the doona or the sofa cushions.
I miss them a lot. They occupied such an important space in our lives that I felt quite bereft for a long time. We had so many adventures together.They were the best travelled cats amongst everyone I knew and frequently travelled between states by passenger rail (until that service was discontinued) and then by plane. Everywhere we went they came, so to let go of them was a big wrench. The worst was little Sunshine, the one who was run over even though she lived with us for the shortest time. I literally cried every night for six months after that.
She was an angel in feline form.
Tuffy was the last to go. He wouldn’t have been ever ready – he was such an adventure, a swashbuckler really and his name suited him to a ‘T’ (LOL), but he was resigned… his poor old body just wouldn’t support him anymore.
There’s a pigeon whose been around here for about 5 years now. There’s something about her,something about the way she sits in the sun with her breast feathers fluffed out and her legs somehow tucked under her that reminds me of just how Tuffy sat. He always was a bit of a shapeshifter. The cougar in him was only too apparent!
Every now and again I hear a contented purr and I am reminded of what special gifts they were and of how much love we all shared.
It gets easier but you probably can’t envisage that yet… I know I couldn’t.
* hug *
QUOTE
Do you guys think it does any good to still be praying for her? To talk to her out loud? Can she even hear me?
Some prayers and some insight would be more appreciated than you know.
Some prayers and some insight would be more appreciated than you know.
I just had a look at Molly's pic that you posted the link to. Oh, she’s beautiful. She was one happy dog. So free to be herself and so surrounded by love. What a personality. Oh no she wouldn’t have wanted to continue on in that awful state of indignity that her condition brought upon her. You helped her. You did the right thing.
I don’t know where she is, just as I don’t know where Sunshine and the boys are when they are not hanging around us, but I bet she is running somewhere on a beach or through a field or along the path of a park running ahead and then looking back to see if you are catching up!
I know that you will sense her presence before too long and that you will feel some comfort knowing that something of her prevails. Talking to her and praying for her sound like normal loving responses. They can't hurt her and who know they may go out into the Universe and call her to you.
Dear oh dear, oh dear... your name says it all. * hug *
I love dogs and enjoy the company of friends’ canine pals, but I think there’s dog people and cat people. I am definitely a cat person.The pets I had were cats… but that doesn't mean I cannot understand the way you feel.
One lived to be 19, one was run over very young and the other died when he was 17. The two boys died in my arms. They had been in our family for so long that we thought they would live forever!
I can’t imagine what life would have been like without them. We moved around a lot during those years. Our lives were in regular upheaval and things were often challenging to say the least. If there was one source of stability for us amidst the turmoil it was the unconditional love that they gave us.
Sunshine was killed when she was only a few years old. After a volatile beginning punctuated by much hissing and snarling Kashmir (sometimes spelled Cashmere depending on the aspect of him I am reminiscing about) deigned to let her join the family. They became best buddies and he sat on her grave in our garden under the lilac tree for two weeks after we buried her... just sat there all day. He didn't sleep or recline, just sat there like Bast guarding her spirit or something.
Kashmir died next.
He didn’t want to go.
It broke my heart when his last meow came out sounding like an anguished “Muuuuuuuum!” He’d been such a good mate.Oh, just like any pet lover I have volumes of pet tales tucked away in my repertoire but I am tired having been at school all day and then coming home to two students immediately after that I don’t think I have the energy to write much more than these few things I want to share: they both come to me in dreams when I ask them to if I need some support or a kitty kat cuddle; and there have been times when they sit on the bed or the sofa next to me and I feel their body weight as they sink into the doona or the sofa cushions.
I miss them a lot. They occupied such an important space in our lives that I felt quite bereft for a long time. We had so many adventures together.They were the best travelled cats amongst everyone I knew and frequently travelled between states by passenger rail (until that service was discontinued) and then by plane. Everywhere we went they came, so to let go of them was a big wrench. The worst was little Sunshine, the one who was run over even though she lived with us for the shortest time. I literally cried every night for six months after that.
She was an angel in feline form.
Tuffy was the last to go. He wouldn’t have been ever ready – he was such an adventure, a swashbuckler really and his name suited him to a ‘T’ (LOL), but he was resigned… his poor old body just wouldn’t support him anymore.
There’s a pigeon whose been around here for about 5 years now. There’s something about her,something about the way she sits in the sun with her breast feathers fluffed out and her legs somehow tucked under her that reminds me of just how Tuffy sat. He always was a bit of a shapeshifter. The cougar in him was only too apparent!
Every now and again I hear a contented purr and I am reminded of what special gifts they were and of how much love we all shared.
It gets easier but you probably can’t envisage that yet… I know I couldn’t.
* hug *
Oh, you're making me want to cry! I'm sooo so so sorry for your loss. We lost our golden lab mix a few years ago. He was my husband's doggy soulmate, much like you described your relationship with your dog. The passing was similar too... after a long battle with cancer, we had to put him down, and Greg held him and looked into his eyes and sobbed and... now I AM about to cry. (Thank God for kid interruptions and distractions! lol!)
Okay, here's the part I want you to know about. When Greg was in college, he had a very detailed and emotional dream in which his "then dog", a black lab who had been left home with his parents while he went to school, came to him in the dream. Then the dog transformed to human form to hug him goodbye and said, "It's better this way. God made it this way." Greg woke up sobbing and called his mom. His dog had died the day before.
So, when his doggy soulmate died, he felt sure he would have a comforting dream like this, but... he never did. I don't think he dreamed about the dog at all for years, then when he did, they were nightmares of regret and failure. Fortunately, he has been able to hang on to the dream he had in college and take comfort from it... and he has shared that dream with everyone he knows who has lost a dog -- as I am sharing it with you -- so that they, too, can take comfort from it. Unfortunately for you, his sharing is much more powerful. But he's asleep, so I'm all you've got.
I guess what I'm saying is don't fret about the fact that you haven't dreamed about your doggy-soulmate. It doesn't lessen the relationship you had. And, it is appropriate to say goodbye and probably to expect to see your friend in another form in another realm. And, time does heal, somewhat. Greg still gets teary-eyed when he thinks about his doggy-soulmate.... even I do, though my relationship with the dog was nothing compared to Greg's. Some dogs are so very special, aren't they?
Last thing, I guess, and maybe you don't need to hear this.... don't feel you should grieve any less because your lost friend is a dog and not a person. Some people won't understand, but that's okay. Allow yourself the grief you feel. Otherwise, it'll stay with you and fester. It *will* get easier. ((((hugs))))
~ Zan
Okay, here's the part I want you to know about. When Greg was in college, he had a very detailed and emotional dream in which his "then dog", a black lab who had been left home with his parents while he went to school, came to him in the dream. Then the dog transformed to human form to hug him goodbye and said, "It's better this way. God made it this way." Greg woke up sobbing and called his mom. His dog had died the day before.
So, when his doggy soulmate died, he felt sure he would have a comforting dream like this, but... he never did. I don't think he dreamed about the dog at all for years, then when he did, they were nightmares of regret and failure. Fortunately, he has been able to hang on to the dream he had in college and take comfort from it... and he has shared that dream with everyone he knows who has lost a dog -- as I am sharing it with you -- so that they, too, can take comfort from it. Unfortunately for you, his sharing is much more powerful. But he's asleep, so I'm all you've got.
I guess what I'm saying is don't fret about the fact that you haven't dreamed about your doggy-soulmate. It doesn't lessen the relationship you had. And, it is appropriate to say goodbye and probably to expect to see your friend in another form in another realm. And, time does heal, somewhat. Greg still gets teary-eyed when he thinks about his doggy-soulmate.... even I do, though my relationship with the dog was nothing compared to Greg's. Some dogs are so very special, aren't they?
Last thing, I guess, and maybe you don't need to hear this.... don't feel you should grieve any less because your lost friend is a dog and not a person. Some people won't understand, but that's okay. Allow yourself the grief you feel. Otherwise, it'll stay with you and fester. It *will* get easier. ((((hugs))))
~ Zan
I had a similar experience with my Sheltie Jake. I held him while they put him down. Unfortunately, I soon went into a deep depression. I had horrid feelings of guilt, wondering why I had made a choice only God should be allowed to make. After 5 or so weeks of losing my mind, I felt like I was in a hole and knew I had to make a choice. If I went any deeper into the hole, I don't think I would have returned.
The next morning, I went outside to get the kids on the school bus and my 9 year son looked at my car and stated Jake was on the window. There was a dirt/dust mark about 7 inches in diameter that looked exactly like my Jakes head and upper body. The odd part was, since all this happened, I rarely drove anywhere.
I took pictures and had my neighbors look at the mark. Everyone said it looked just like Jake. This brought me out of my depression. I knew Jake was giving me a message that he was ok.
Whatever kind of spirit dogs are, they are still with us after they pass on. Is it a coincidence that God and Dog are spelled backwards?
Hope this helps comfort you. Dogs are a special gift of unconditional love.
The next morning, I went outside to get the kids on the school bus and my 9 year son looked at my car and stated Jake was on the window. There was a dirt/dust mark about 7 inches in diameter that looked exactly like my Jakes head and upper body. The odd part was, since all this happened, I rarely drove anywhere.
I took pictures and had my neighbors look at the mark. Everyone said it looked just like Jake. This brought me out of my depression. I knew Jake was giving me a message that he was ok.
Whatever kind of spirit dogs are, they are still with us after they pass on. Is it a coincidence that God and Dog are spelled backwards?
Hope this helps comfort you. Dogs are a special gift of unconditional love.
Wow, you guys. Thank you so much. It looks like this really stirred something for you fellow animal lovers. I guess I'm truly not the only one. That is comforting in and of it's self. I'm so glad you guys understand. And thank you so much for sharing the stories of your "fur babies" with me. 
I do hope you are right Victoria, about feeling like I might sense her presence in some way. I honestly need that.
But Gypsymomma, thank you for showing me that some people don't who still have such a beautiful relationship with them can not have it too. That also helps. Of course I hope I do!
It ALL helps. Really.
I'm going to go back and reread all of this later today. And probably reread and reread. I can't thank you all enough.
But here is one thing that just happened. Okay, you read what I wrote about not having dreams at all and I usually have very vivid ones that I remember every detail of. Well, I wrote this topic very early in the morning. Like before I had gone to sleep early. I stayed up very very late. I received the first two responses and then went to bed. I then just woke up at 7am after having this horrible dream about her. The night after I put her down I had a dream about her being sick just as she was but her dying and I had not put her down. She was just very sick and I knew she was dying and I was just holding her, very very upset and then she died. Not good. Not HORRIBLE, but not good. Then I had no dreams for 9 days until just now.
I was just dreaming that (it makes no sense, mind you) that her and I were with other people and there was this cougar I think it was (or some wild animal similar) and every night it would come and get closer and closer to her. I was doing everything I could think of to protect her but nothing seemed to work (didn't just keep her inside a house though, duh) the whole thing took place outside. I would stay up all night watching over her and looking for that cougar. It was looking for her and I knew I was putting myself into danger by getting so close to it but all that mattered was protecting her. Everyone was telling me that it sucked but I had to let it happen. It was just life. Nature. Just "how it was" and this cougar was going to get her. I was VERY upset. Trying to save her with all my might and it was getting dark again and a guy came and started hog-tying her! Like for this animal to come get. She looked over at me with this look of helplessness that was just like "Momma, help me" and I woke up.
God!!!! I don't think it was a coincidence I was talking about letting her go and on this thread and then had that, right? Maybe I'm just not ready. Is that what that is? God, I wish I had never complained of my dreams stopping. That was horrible.
Very disheartening. I so do NOT want those images in my head. It's hard enough, you know?
Anyways, I figured I'd better tell you guys that.
In the back of my mind it makes me think she is not okay. But I know better than that. Ugh
I will come back on here shortly and reread these posts. For now this dream is just so in my brain. I think I need to let an hour or so make it less vivid. hopefully. And then I can grasp a little better the wonderful things you guys are saying! Thank you thank you thank you
I do hope you are right Victoria, about feeling like I might sense her presence in some way. I honestly need that.
But Gypsymomma, thank you for showing me that some people don't who still have such a beautiful relationship with them can not have it too. That also helps. Of course I hope I do!
It ALL helps. Really.
I'm going to go back and reread all of this later today. And probably reread and reread.
I can't thank you all enough.But here is one thing that just happened. Okay, you read what I wrote about not having dreams at all and I usually have very vivid ones that I remember every detail of. Well, I wrote this topic very early in the morning. Like before I had gone to sleep early. I stayed up very very late. I received the first two responses and then went to bed. I then just woke up at 7am after having this horrible dream about her. The night after I put her down I had a dream about her being sick just as she was but her dying and I had not put her down. She was just very sick and I knew she was dying and I was just holding her, very very upset and then she died. Not good. Not HORRIBLE, but not good. Then I had no dreams for 9 days until just now.
I was just dreaming that (it makes no sense, mind you) that her and I were with other people and there was this cougar I think it was (or some wild animal similar) and every night it would come and get closer and closer to her. I was doing everything I could think of to protect her but nothing seemed to work (didn't just keep her inside a house though, duh) the whole thing took place outside. I would stay up all night watching over her and looking for that cougar. It was looking for her and I knew I was putting myself into danger by getting so close to it but all that mattered was protecting her. Everyone was telling me that it sucked but I had to let it happen. It was just life. Nature. Just "how it was" and this cougar was going to get her. I was VERY upset. Trying to save her with all my might and it was getting dark again and a guy came and started hog-tying her! Like for this animal to come get. She looked over at me with this look of helplessness that was just like "Momma, help me" and I woke up.
God!!!! I don't think it was a coincidence I was talking about letting her go and on this thread and then had that, right? Maybe I'm just not ready. Is that what that is? God, I wish I had never complained of my dreams stopping. That was horrible.
Very disheartening. I so do NOT want those images in my head. It's hard enough, you know?
Anyways, I figured I'd better tell you guys that.
In the back of my mind it makes me think she is not okay. But I know better than that. Ugh
I will come back on here shortly and reread these posts. For now this dream is just so in my brain. I think I need to let an hour or so make it less vivid. hopefully. And then I can grasp a little better the wonderful things you guys are saying! Thank you thank you thank you
I need to tell you right away about my own experiences, because I have had a pet who was more like a sister to me (age wise, she was half of my age.) I get really attached to my pets, and they do seem more like family, at times like children or sisters/brothers, so I wondered the same exact thing.
I know you should, absolutely, talk to her. Talk to her after addressing her name, because she can hear you and she would love to hear from you. That's a personal experience I've had and I've had many people talk about the same experience. Wherever she is, she can hear you.
Where did she go? Well, I can't say for sure, but I know a few of my pets came back to spend time with me. At night, I would feel them sit down on my bed near my head- because the bed would imprint, and I had been lying completely still. Other times I've heard them run around, or noises like a response. We know as owners what our pets sound like because we would spend hours with them listening to the littlest things they did- even when my pets were having trouble breathing, I remember how they sounded because it concerned me. So that's how I know it's them.
Native American spirituality often talks about guides also having the ability to be animals. Because of this, I believe our pets can become a guide for us. It's your choice how you interpret the situation. I do believe our connection with our loved ones is strong enough to go on after death, and then they feel the need to stay around and protect us. It makes it harder to communicate because of the species barrier, but you can still feel the love they had for you there. It's very easy to recognize- but sometimes you just need to slow down, sit in a room they loved, and realize its there.
I hope this makes you feel a bit better. I love animals to the point they become my family if I have one, and I make large decisions based around my animals just because I love them so much!
As for the dream, I think it wasn't symbolic of anything. I remember having nightmares after one of my close friends passed away (a pet, of course, but the word pet bothers me) They drifted up towards the ceiling the night after they passed away and they were just an orb. I was so disturbed that they weren't anything more that I woke up crying. But now I realize that means that they were okay. I think your fears for what could become of her are getting a hold on you- you need to slow down, realize she loves you a lot still and take some time to just talk right out loud to her. It'll probably improve the nature of your dreams- maybe she'll even try connecting with you (pets can!)
I am very sorry for your loss. But I'm sure Molly is fine wherever she is. I wish I could give you a big hug right now...take care, all right?
I know you should, absolutely, talk to her. Talk to her after addressing her name, because she can hear you and she would love to hear from you. That's a personal experience I've had and I've had many people talk about the same experience. Wherever she is, she can hear you.
Where did she go? Well, I can't say for sure, but I know a few of my pets came back to spend time with me. At night, I would feel them sit down on my bed near my head- because the bed would imprint, and I had been lying completely still. Other times I've heard them run around, or noises like a response. We know as owners what our pets sound like because we would spend hours with them listening to the littlest things they did- even when my pets were having trouble breathing, I remember how they sounded because it concerned me. So that's how I know it's them.
Native American spirituality often talks about guides also having the ability to be animals. Because of this, I believe our pets can become a guide for us. It's your choice how you interpret the situation. I do believe our connection with our loved ones is strong enough to go on after death, and then they feel the need to stay around and protect us. It makes it harder to communicate because of the species barrier, but you can still feel the love they had for you there. It's very easy to recognize- but sometimes you just need to slow down, sit in a room they loved, and realize its there.
I hope this makes you feel a bit better. I love animals to the point they become my family if I have one, and I make large decisions based around my animals just because I love them so much!
As for the dream, I think it wasn't symbolic of anything. I remember having nightmares after one of my close friends passed away (a pet, of course, but the word pet bothers me) They drifted up towards the ceiling the night after they passed away and they were just an orb. I was so disturbed that they weren't anything more that I woke up crying. But now I realize that means that they were okay. I think your fears for what could become of her are getting a hold on you- you need to slow down, realize she loves you a lot still and take some time to just talk right out loud to her. It'll probably improve the nature of your dreams- maybe she'll even try connecting with you (pets can!)
I am very sorry for your loss. But I'm sure Molly is fine wherever she is. I wish I could give you a big hug right now...take care, all right?
Hi Stricken, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, pets are like a member of the family.
Making the decision to have a pet put to sleep is not easy, I know this from experience, but it was necessary to avoid further suffering.
I think your dream isnt a spiritual one, but an emotional one, it is about you sorting out your emotions before releasing them. Think about the symbology in the dream and what it means in relation to your recent thoughts and feelings. Once this is done, allow yourself to heal.
I also think this is sound advice
You have given Molly a lovely life full of love.
Making the decision to have a pet put to sleep is not easy, I know this from experience, but it was necessary to avoid further suffering.
I think your dream isnt a spiritual one, but an emotional one, it is about you sorting out your emotions before releasing them. Think about the symbology in the dream and what it means in relation to your recent thoughts and feelings. Once this is done, allow yourself to heal.
I also think this is sound advice
QUOTE
Honour your dog by spreading the love you felt for her into other areas of your life.
You have given Molly a lovely life full of love.
QUOTE (Stricken @ Aug 29 2009, 03:07 AM)
I am new to posting on this forum and I am a little worried about posting about my dog, but please try to take me seriously, okay?
I know it seems really dumb to some people but my dog Molly and I truly have been the very best of friends for 11 years. Honestly I think she took care of me as much as I did her.
I got her when I was 20 years old. I am 31 now and just lost her to cancer only days ago. Well, Wed. the 19th. It was a hard fought battle, I tried chemo. I did everything I could afford for her. But it wasn't enough. I definitely feel like I failed her. Well, I did! I need to let that go. Anyway, she got so bad her last 4 days or so. Everyday was a little worse until she could no longer stand or walk. I looked into her eyes on Monday (though I am not psychic, well not very much at least. I've only had a few prophetic dreams) I was sure that she told me (I don't know how to describe it) that she was ready. She needed to go. So, I put her down last Wed. I played comforting music for her, held her in my arms as she passed away. I tried to send her off with love. As best as I know how anyway. I don't have a lot of experience with death. I did absolutely feel when she left, though. There was a definite emptiness in the room. As cheesy as the phrase might be she did look peaceful afterward.
I have had several other dogs through out my life and I loved all of them dearly. But with her...she was just special. Our relationship was special. She has really been THE ONLY constant in my life for all these years. I feel half empty since she died. I know it hasn't been long so I need a lot of time, I'm sure. I miss her dearly.
But what bothers me more than anything is, after being totally joined at the hip for all these years and me knowing exactly what she is doing, what mood she is in, whats going on with her at all times, basically....now I don't even know where she is! I pray that she is all right. I want her to know I will always love her. I hope she still loves me too. I don't know how all this works. I am really really hoping that she is not just "gone" now. You know? That her spirit is happy and alive somewhere. That hopefully when it's my time I will see her again. I have read online these last few days about people having very close relationship to their pets and their pets will sometimes come back to them a few days after they die to let them know they are well. But she never came. I have been hoping for a dream too, as I always have very vivid dreams and remember every detail when I wake up. Colors, smells everything. But oddly since the day after she died I haven't remembered one dream. It's so odd.
Do you guys think it does any good to still be praying for her? To talk to her out loud? Can she even hear me?
Some prayers and some insight would be more appreciated than you know.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Picure of Molly
I know it seems really dumb to some people but my dog Molly and I truly have been the very best of friends for 11 years. Honestly I think she took care of me as much as I did her.
I got her when I was 20 years old. I am 31 now and just lost her to cancer only days ago. Well, Wed. the 19th. It was a hard fought battle, I tried chemo. I did everything I could afford for her. But it wasn't enough. I definitely feel like I failed her. Well, I did! I need to let that go. Anyway, she got so bad her last 4 days or so. Everyday was a little worse until she could no longer stand or walk. I looked into her eyes on Monday (though I am not psychic, well not very much at least. I've only had a few prophetic dreams) I was sure that she told me (I don't know how to describe it) that she was ready. She needed to go. So, I put her down last Wed. I played comforting music for her, held her in my arms as she passed away. I tried to send her off with love. As best as I know how anyway. I don't have a lot of experience with death. I did absolutely feel when she left, though. There was a definite emptiness in the room. As cheesy as the phrase might be she did look peaceful afterward.
I have had several other dogs through out my life and I loved all of them dearly. But with her...she was just special. Our relationship was special. She has really been THE ONLY constant in my life for all these years. I feel half empty since she died. I know it hasn't been long so I need a lot of time, I'm sure. I miss her dearly.
But what bothers me more than anything is, after being totally joined at the hip for all these years and me knowing exactly what she is doing, what mood she is in, whats going on with her at all times, basically....now I don't even know where she is! I pray that she is all right. I want her to know I will always love her. I hope she still loves me too. I don't know how all this works. I am really really hoping that she is not just "gone" now. You know? That her spirit is happy and alive somewhere. That hopefully when it's my time I will see her again. I have read online these last few days about people having very close relationship to their pets and their pets will sometimes come back to them a few days after they die to let them know they are well. But she never came. I have been hoping for a dream too, as I always have very vivid dreams and remember every detail when I wake up. Colors, smells everything. But oddly since the day after she died I haven't remembered one dream. It's so odd.
Do you guys think it does any good to still be praying for her? To talk to her out loud? Can she even hear me?
Some prayers and some insight would be more appreciated than you know.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Picure of Molly
wow i think you did more for your dog than most people would normally dog for there dogs
you really did treat her as one of the family my sister saw our cats ghost 1x but it was not after she died it was years later i had a kitten i had just gotten it was a very nice kitten i would run up my body and bite me on the lip when i would get home i really liked that cat but it only liived a few days it got out throu a screen in the window but at work i heard a meow that night in my mind then when i got home that day the cat was dead killed by a dog
i had many cats in my life but that cat was something more than just a pet by how it acted etc hope this helps some
/bow
Thanks so much guys. I really appreciate every single comment.
I'm having a really rough day today. It's been 2 weeks today.
Also got a text from my mom. We have emailed since Molly left but have not spoken on the phone since Jan. We have a very strained relationship. Anyways, she sent me a text today to call her. That it was about Molly. I did call her. Twice but she never answered. Then she texts me saying "I saw Molly today". You would think I would be really happy, right? I'm not. If she ever answers her phone I'm sure I'll get the story today or tonight. Maybe I'll change my tune once I do but right now I don't know whether or not to believe her. She says she has seen people that have passed before. Mainly relatives. But I don't know. If Molly was going to come back and show herself to someone WHY WOULDN'T IT ME ME???? I don't like this. I am her Momma. I don't understand. Maybe she is just saying that thinking it will make me feel better. Or maybe she really did. I don't know.
Also still having the nightmares.
I am talking to her though. Everyday. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't really. It does make me feel better to feel like I have some sort of relationship/communication with her still. Even if it's only one way. Just thinking that she can hear me telling her how much I love hr everyday is good.
Edit: Oh and I am still waiting for her ashes. It's very hard. I wish they would get here already. I am dreading seeing her like that SO bad. But also don't like what's left of her just being "out there" somewhere. I'm hoping it will be better to have her shes here at home. I don't know. I just find the whole thing very upsetting. I'm sure once it's done and I get them it will be better than waiting. They said it would be 7-9 days. It's been 14.
Does anyone "get" anything about this? Do you think she did show herself to my mom??
I'm having a really rough day today. It's been 2 weeks today.
Also got a text from my mom. We have emailed since Molly left but have not spoken on the phone since Jan. We have a very strained relationship. Anyways, she sent me a text today to call her. That it was about Molly. I did call her. Twice but she never answered. Then she texts me saying "I saw Molly today". You would think I would be really happy, right? I'm not. If she ever answers her phone I'm sure I'll get the story today or tonight. Maybe I'll change my tune once I do but right now I don't know whether or not to believe her. She says she has seen people that have passed before. Mainly relatives. But I don't know. If Molly was going to come back and show herself to someone WHY WOULDN'T IT ME ME???? I don't like this. I am her Momma. I don't understand. Maybe she is just saying that thinking it will make me feel better. Or maybe she really did. I don't know.
Also still having the nightmares.
I am talking to her though. Everyday. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't really. It does make me feel better to feel like I have some sort of relationship/communication with her still. Even if it's only one way. Just thinking that she can hear me telling her how much I love hr everyday is good.
Edit: Oh and I am still waiting for her ashes. It's very hard. I wish they would get here already. I am dreading seeing her like that SO bad. But also don't like what's left of her just being "out there" somewhere. I'm hoping it will be better to have her shes here at home. I don't know. I just find the whole thing very upsetting. I'm sure once it's done and I get them it will be better than waiting. They said it would be 7-9 days. It's been 14.
Does anyone "get" anything about this? Do you think she did show herself to my mom??
Update: Just called her vet and her ashes are there. I wonder when they were planning on telling me? Oh well.
I am in such a bad frame of mind about this whole deal today with my mom seeing her. I REALLY wish I was in a better frame of mind to go get her. I pictured this being very different.
i almost feel angry at Molly that she went and saw my mom and not me. Then I feel horrible about feeling that way. I was almost never angry at her in life, I sure don't wanna be in death.
I am in such a bad frame of mind about this whole deal today with my mom seeing her. I REALLY wish I was in a better frame of mind to go get her. I pictured this being very different.
i almost feel angry at Molly that she went and saw my mom and not me. Then I feel horrible about feeling that way. I was almost never angry at her in life, I sure don't wanna be in death.
QUOTE (Stricken @ Sep 2 2009)
Update: Just called her vet and her ashes are there. I wonder when they were planning on telling me? Oh well.
I am in such a bad frame of mind about this whole deal today with my mom seeing her. I REALLY wish I was in a better frame of mind to go get her. I pictured this being very different.
i almost feel angry at Molly that she went and saw my mom and not me. Then I feel horrible about feeling that way. I was almost never angry at her in life, I sure don't wanna be in death.
I am in such a bad frame of mind about this whole deal today with my mom seeing her. I REALLY wish I was in a better frame of mind to go get her. I pictured this being very different.
i almost feel angry at Molly that she went and saw my mom and not me. Then I feel horrible about feeling that way. I was almost never angry at her in life, I sure don't wanna be in death.
You're grieving and anger is a part of that process.
www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html
If your mom did see Molly, please bear in mind that it may simply that your mom is more clear-headed than you at the moment. My experience, and I think this is common from what I've seen here, is that I am not as "receptive" when I am upset or emotionally tied to a situation. This would certainly be one of those situations. If that's the case for you right now, then Molly going to see your mom is actually a wonderful, loving thing. She is letting you know that she is all right AND giving you and your mom another opportunity to build a relationship that is less strained.
Post again soon, let us know how you are doing. ((((hug))))
~ Zan
Post again soon, let us know how you are doing. ((((hug))))
~ Zan
QUOTE (GypsyMama @ Sep 2 2009, 03:46 PM)
If your mom did see Molly, please bear in mind that it may simply that your mom is more clear-headed than you at the moment. My experience, and I think this is common from what I've seen here, is that I am not as "receptive" when I am upset or emotionally tied to a situation. This would certainly be one of those situations. If that's the case for you right now, then Molly going to see your mom is actually a wonderful, loving thing. She is letting you know that she is all right AND giving you and your mom another opportunity to build a relationship that is less strained.
Agreed!
Okay guys. Well, did not have a nightmare last night so I am very happy about that.
But also, I woke up today feeling much better. I don't know what happened yesterday to me. Well, grief, I guess. I didn't even feel like myself. I was just so overcome with sadness and anger (that one surprised me, but thank you A Lady for leaving those stages of grief for me. Makes more sense to me now) The getting mad at Molly thing really threw me. Like I said I almost NEVER got angry with her in the 11 years she was with me so I just couldn't believe how I was feeling. I was so upset with her for going to see my mom and not me. Also looking back I think my feelings were hurt about that. I think I was maybe also feeling angry at her for leaving me. Which is so obviously a grieving thing. Now I know.
But last night I was no longer angry but feeling horrible that I HAD gotten angry with her and just hated the thought of her possibly being able to feel that coming from me. I hope since she is ..well...wherever she is that she can't feel negative feelings like that. But just in case I have really apologized to her and told her she did absolutely nothing wrong. That momma was just having a really bad day. I hope if she did feel that she forgives me and it doesn't keep her from coming back if she had wanted to.
I also got her ashes last night. AND it was two weeks yesterday. Too much happening for one day, I think.
Also, thank you Gypsy Momma for what you said. I am now starting to think that Molly is trying to bring me back with my family. I mean My parents and I had or my brother for that matter had not spoken for 7 months. They had kicked me outta of the family so to speak. My parents did. My dad is a southern baptist preacher. I love rock and roll and have tattoos. You see the problem. Then two days before Molly left my mom emailed me outta the blue. I would have never replied if it hadn't been that I knew I was having to put Ms. Molly down in a day or two. Very strange.
I still long for her to visit me and hope very much that she will but I am starting to see the awesomeness of her coming at all. I still haven't talked to my mom but I have my dad, just now. I'm sure I'll talk to my mom today. (Which will be for the first time since Jan.) Something I didn't even really think about yesterday, my dad said "I know you would much rather her come to you but she came for you, too. It wasn't just for your mom." He said "but you have to remember that your mom has really been grieving too" I really didn't think much about that before. Molly had SUCH a strong personality and SUCH a strong presence that people really did just fall in love with her. Maybe it was partly because she acted so human like. She wouldn't even have a thing to do with other dogs other than our family dog Bailey. She loved her but when Bailey died when Molly was young she never even looked at another dog. Literally, if a dog barked at her she would not even turn her head to look at it. I've never seen anything like it. I had a vet ask me once "She doesn't know she is a dog, does she?" Anyways, Molly and I moved around a lot so we have lived from Georgia where she was born all the way to Oregon where I am now and several places in between. I literally had people call me from all over the country the day Molly died crying and so sad about her. She really impacted a lot of peoples lives. It's amazing really. I could only hope to have impacted so many people when I'm gone.
Thank you guys a million times over for all your support. You guys are really helping me through this. Much love to each and every one of you. I appreciate it so very much.
But also, I woke up today feeling much better. I don't know what happened yesterday to me. Well, grief, I guess. I didn't even feel like myself. I was just so overcome with sadness and anger (that one surprised me, but thank you A Lady for leaving those stages of grief for me. Makes more sense to me now) The getting mad at Molly thing really threw me. Like I said I almost NEVER got angry with her in the 11 years she was with me so I just couldn't believe how I was feeling. I was so upset with her for going to see my mom and not me. Also looking back I think my feelings were hurt about that. I think I was maybe also feeling angry at her for leaving me. Which is so obviously a grieving thing. Now I know.
But last night I was no longer angry but feeling horrible that I HAD gotten angry with her and just hated the thought of her possibly being able to feel that coming from me. I hope since she is ..well...wherever she is that she can't feel negative feelings like that. But just in case I have really apologized to her and told her she did absolutely nothing wrong. That momma was just having a really bad day. I hope if she did feel that she forgives me and it doesn't keep her from coming back if she had wanted to.
I also got her ashes last night. AND it was two weeks yesterday. Too much happening for one day, I think.
Also, thank you Gypsy Momma for what you said. I am now starting to think that Molly is trying to bring me back with my family. I mean My parents and I had or my brother for that matter had not spoken for 7 months. They had kicked me outta of the family so to speak. My parents did. My dad is a southern baptist preacher. I love rock and roll and have tattoos. You see the problem. Then two days before Molly left my mom emailed me outta the blue. I would have never replied if it hadn't been that I knew I was having to put Ms. Molly down in a day or two. Very strange.
I still long for her to visit me and hope very much that she will but I am starting to see the awesomeness of her coming at all. I still haven't talked to my mom but I have my dad, just now. I'm sure I'll talk to my mom today. (Which will be for the first time since Jan.) Something I didn't even really think about yesterday, my dad said "I know you would much rather her come to you but she came for you, too. It wasn't just for your mom." He said "but you have to remember that your mom has really been grieving too" I really didn't think much about that before. Molly had SUCH a strong personality and SUCH a strong presence that people really did just fall in love with her. Maybe it was partly because she acted so human like. She wouldn't even have a thing to do with other dogs other than our family dog Bailey. She loved her but when Bailey died when Molly was young she never even looked at another dog. Literally, if a dog barked at her she would not even turn her head to look at it. I've never seen anything like it. I had a vet ask me once "She doesn't know she is a dog, does she?" Anyways, Molly and I moved around a lot so we have lived from Georgia where she was born all the way to Oregon where I am now and several places in between. I literally had people call me from all over the country the day Molly died crying and so sad about her. She really impacted a lot of peoples lives. It's amazing really. I could only hope to have impacted so many people when I'm gone.
Thank you guys a million times over for all your support. You guys are really helping me through this. Much love to each and every one of you. I appreciate it so very much.
well i was looking for the posting
where the dog passed away from cancer
could not locate it
anyways what i wanted to post was one of my future visions i had recieved
concerning my pets
i saw sometime after we or i recieve eternal life
i see all the pets i ever owned alive and well in my yard again
so i hope this helps you
i was thinking about your posting and remembered this vision
it was very touching
all and every pet i ever had
there was more to this vision from a god perspective
but thought i would try writinging it a normal persons perspective
i hope this helps give you some peace that you will see your beloved pet again
because i for one can not wait to see my pets again
please repost this somewhere in that thread someone
i can not seem to locate it thanks
where the dog passed away from cancer
could not locate it
anyways what i wanted to post was one of my future visions i had recieved
concerning my pets
i saw sometime after we or i recieve eternal life
i see all the pets i ever owned alive and well in my yard again
so i hope this helps you
i was thinking about your posting and remembered this vision
it was very touching
all and every pet i ever had
there was more to this vision from a god perspective
but thought i would try writinging it a normal persons perspective
i hope this helps give you some peace that you will see your beloved pet again
because i for one can not wait to see my pets again
please repost this somewhere in that thread someone
i can not seem to locate it thanks
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