Hi there I was wondering if anyone could help me? My mother passed away over a year ago and I have been left responsibility for my brother. He is a little bit slow, he has Obssesive Compulsive Disorder and lived with my mother all of his life. He is just about 60 years old and has never lived on his own. Before my mother died they both moved in with myself and my family due to my mothers poor health. Don't get me wrong he isn't too much trouble to look after. He has a job and is fairly independent but has never had to look after himself and doesn't earn enough to live on his own. Its just that my children are older and are moving out of home, my husband and I had plans to travel and were really looking forward to being able to take off when we want, but now it's like we have another child to look after, financially as well. This sounds really selfish but can anyone see what the future holds for us?

I hope this doesn't sound cliche, because I can "see" it very clearly -- what the future holds totally depends on you and the approach you choose to take to your situation.

You can't change the fact that you are now responsible for your brother, and it's obvious from your post that you didn't choose this. But, you can choose your attitude toward the entire situation.

If you choose a path of gratitude and love and looking for the bright side in every moment you have remaining with your brother, I believe that those years will be rich and rewarding beyond what you can imagine and will trump anything you could've gained by traveling (I also have a hunch you will find a way to travel with your brother, should you choose this path!).

If you choose any other path... not necessarily a negative one, but anything other than make a constant *effort* to be positive about the situation and exude love, then you will begin to resent it. Then, your brother. Then, that resentment and tension will spread to the rest of your life. And, you will feel badly about yourself because you will know somehow that you could have prevented it, but you won't be sure why.

It's funny, the images I have of the two paths... the path of love shows an image that is bright, active, clear and cheerful -- well-lit, even. The other path looks like it is behind a gray filter. I can practically feel the tension in it. And the interesting thing is that no one is moving. Everyone is sitting with grumpy faces.

You have a rare and wonderful opportunity here to make a huge difference not only in your life, but the lives of others. I've seen people with this opportunity talk about how difficult it must be to choose the path of love, because it requires diligence and seems too hard. It's not easy, really, but it is simple.

Here are things that work for me...
Smile. A lot. At people, especially those you live with.
In every situation -- especially difficult ones -- look for something to be grateful for. There's always at least one thing, even if it's the fact that it could be worse, but it's not.
Look for light. Not just in the spiritual sense, but the physical. There's such profound beauty in the contrast between light and dark, if you look for it.
Look for beauty. It's everywhere, and in every face, and it is so uplifting.
Take care of yourself. You can't stay on this path when you are too hungry, tired, emotional, lonely, thirsty, etc.... you have to take care of you.
Pray. If you're religious, pray that way. But, if you're not.... well, the way I "pray" is to simply carry on a one-sided conversation in my mind, trusting that something out there is listening. If nothing else, it's a great way to unload any stress and worry without dumping it onto someone else who's having a hard enough time with their own.

So. I hope that helps. Good luck to you!!

love and light,
~ Zan

you could have one of your kids take care of him while you travel?

Hey there GypsyMama, you are right and it has been something my husband keeps saying to me but it took you to make me see it. Yes I do have a choice and your advice is true, its up to me now what I do. I am going to take your advice and look for the light each day:) I love my brother very much and would hate for him to feel like a burden I feel so very selfish for feeling the way I have been. Thank you for your thoughtful words

I want to add some input that is just personal experience...not necessarily intuition. though I did ask my Intuition if I should talk about this & it said yes. I don't know where you live so not sure if it is an option. But, IF you found that in the end you were resenting your brother too much, there are some options. My mother & I loved each other but simply could not live together. She had some disabilities. Eventually, she managed to get her own apartment in an older persons community. It only cost 500.00 per month. She had a social worker who assisted her with the details because she lived nowhere near me & was not up to doing the paperwork due to medications. She passed away in July but the time we spent together when she had her own place & was semi-independant was much better/healthier for both of us because we were not feeling trapped together. Please feel free to PM me if you have questions about it.