When do you know that it’s ok to progress to a date? Flirting is easy, well it is once you get the hang of it, but dating, that’s another thing. Here are some tips to think about
The Big Decision
It’s your decision totally whether to date or not. But, remember you don’t have to spend the rest of your life with this person. It is only a date and you can decide that you don’t want to see them again. Also, you may form a really nice friendship with them, and best of all you just never know, he or she might be your prince or princess in shining armour that you’ve been waiting for. Sometimes in life you just have to take a risk, and if you want a relationship to progress then you will need to progress to the dating stage. As long as you follow sensible safety rules, and make sure you feel safe to go out with them, or organise a date with others, or meet in a public place it could be fun to have a date. Dating is about sharing and getting to know each other better.
Rumours on the Grape Vine
You know some friends will say things because they just don’t think first. They don’t really know the facts but they say it anyway. Some people are just a bit insensitive and don’t realise what they say can be hurtful. Others could be jealous and some people just love to gossip, as they have nothing better to do with their life but to get involved in other people’s business. Unfortunately though, when people gossip, they may have heard the information, 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand, and it gets exaggerated along the way, or even fabricated, so you can’t always take notice of rumours. It’s best that you make up your own mind. Go out and over time the real him or her will emerge, and as you get closer if the rumours still bother you then you can gently ask them and see what they say. Then you will have more information available to you to make an informed decision for yourself.
Conflict Already
You’re flirtations lead to phone contact, then to a date, and you send emails back and forth and now, oh no, you have had your first fight. Well not really, perhaps not a fight but maybe it’s a misunderstanding or disagreement. Well maybe not even that, but there’s been a little niggle or upset. What do you do now?
Firstly, take some responsibility for the upset. There are two people in this game, and it is not all the other person’s fault and not all your fault. If you have not come to this conclusion then you need to have a good look at what happened and a good look at your involvement. No doubt there is some involvement on the other side as well as yours, but let’s look at you, because that’s the only person you have the power to look at and change. Here are a series of questions to ask yourself, which might help to uncover what went wrong. Were you in a bad mood anyway? Were you feeling more sensitive than usual? Did it bring up an issue that happened with a past relationship? Did you over-react? Are your expectations far too high? Were you being precious? Were you being a bitch? Were you upset that you couldn’t get your own way? Did you learn something important about him or her? Did you learn something else about yourself; a quality you never knew you had? Were you drinking and in an altered state of consciousness? Were you on medication and not feeling yourself?
You see, there are many things, which will lead to an upset. Firstly, be honest and ask yourself what part you played in the altercation, then be even more honest and share it with your partner. He or she will appreciate it, and it will strengthen your relationship 10 fold, really!
Your Decision
At the end of the day, it’s your decision whether you continue in a relationship or not, or indeed if you start a relationship. Flirting can start a relationship, and it can keep the spice going, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and if you decide you don’t want to see them or you want to end it then this is your decision to make and yours alone. Don’t allow anyone to bully you into doing something that you don’t want to do or anything you feel is not right for you. You are in control of your life, you hold the reigns and it’s up to you and not anyone else. However, in saying that, remember there is always compromise to make in any relationship. You have to make sure there is a high degree of compatibility, at least 75 % or higher. But no matter how compatible you are with someone, there is always going to be differences and compromises. Be careful you don’t leave a good or potentially good relationship because you are living the myth of meeting your perfect ten, or one and only soul mate, as you could be very lonely.
