Dealing with Control Issues
The signs of a controlling partner are often so faint in the beginning that you don’t even realize what is happening until you feel trapped in it, leaving you to feel frightened for yourself and equally frightened for your partner. Feeling trapped in a situation where you feel confined can lead to depression, isolation and low self–esteem. If you think you might be in a controlling relationship, decide if you can work with your partner to change their behavior or move on as soon as possible. If you can go together to get some professional counseling, all the better.
How Controlling Is The Relationship?
Take a few days and write down everything you and your partner do together, as well as how you feel when certain things take place and how frequent you feel your partner’s controlling behavior is. Your list may give you the chance to see how this behavior is affecting your relationship. Then start evaluating your own feelings. Ask yourself questions like these: Do you feel like you are always apologizing to your loved one? Do you feel comfortable making decisions on your own? Do you feel like you are walking on eggs, not knowing what to do or say to make him or her happy?
Take A Stand
Once you become aware of how much your partner controls you and certain situations, you can take steps to change the pattern. The key is to take control of your own life so you can discuss what it is you want out of your relationship. If you always bow down to your sweetheart’s behavior, you could be setting yourself up to feel resentful, which will only make things worse. Only one person needs to make changes for the whole dynamic between the two of you to change, so pay close attention to your partner’s behavior once you start making changes. Perhaps your partner is unaware of how you feel. However, if your sweetheart overreacts or becomes violent, then maybe your thoughts need to change from how to fix the relationship to how you can leave the relationship.
Talk It Out
If the controlling behavior isn’t emotionally or physically abusive, then endeavor to talk things out. Give examples of his or her behavior and how it makes you feel. Explain how you will help to work this out too, and ask if there’s anything he or she needs from you. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner about the relationship, then maybe it would be best to seek professional advice either together or alone.
Controlling relationships can cause you to lose self–esteem. If you are in a controlling relationship, it’s now time to start rebuilding your personal power. Do something nice for yourself. Start making plans again with family and friends. Find a new hobby or re visit an old one. It’s time to love your life again. Life is too short to do anything else!
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Speaker, author, newspaper and magazine columnist, web columnist,
writer and blogger, radio and TV Presenter – Jennifer Angel
specializes in writing about Astrology and Relationships.
Read more about Jennifer here.
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