By Jennifer Angel

When love and money are combined, it can be an explosive mix, but both are a necessary part of life, so like it or not, some time in your life you are likely to be faced with a dilemma about how to handle this ever sensitive combination. Read on to find some insights that could help you get through a tricky situation.


1. Q. Should couples keep separate accounts after moving in together or getting married?
A. Yes, it’s a good idea to keep your own individual account, and also open a joint account to use for mutual household bills, and perhaps a different account for joint savings, or for other things like vacations. It’s not a matter of how much you do or don’t trust your partner on a financial level; it’s all about keeping your individuality. It can be empowering to have your own bank account so you have access to cash that you do not have to answer to anyone other than yourself.

2. Q. My partner doesn’t know how to handle money. Should I pay all of the bills myself after we’re married?
A. It’s advisable for both of you to learn how to manage your finances, as well as how to pay bills, balance a checkbook, and managing credit. You want to develop an “our” attitude, to get on track and work on a budget together. However, each party will bring different skills to the relationship, and it is likely that one of you is better at organizing financial matters, so this person should take control and let the other person know what they need to be able to keep everything ship shape.

3. Q. How often should my partner and I discuss finances?
A. It is important that you and your sweetheart know where you stand financially and have common financial goals. Keep the lines of communication open, and if these discussions make your partner uncomfortable or defensive, seek out the help of a financial counselor or planner to smooth the way and alleviate tension. Set a time each month to bring each other up to date on the comings and goings of money, what’s working what’s not, and this gives you a chance to make quick changes and alterations to your expenditure before things get out of hand. It’s also good to do a quarterly assessment to keep track of your long term goals.

4. Q. Why won’t my partner spend money on fun activities?
A. Everyone has a different money style and financial priorities. Some people are natural risk takers, where others are always looking to save and put money away in case an emergency happens down the road. Talk openly with your partner about your feelings, and try to come up with an agreement that meets in the middle. You may have to give on some things and they can give on others. The main thing is that you work together. For example, one night a week you may decide to have a romantic dinner date, and other nights you find ways to cook budget meals that are tasty and interesting. With patience and honest communication, you should fully understand each other’s feelings and be able to reach an agreement that makes both parties happy.

5. Q. I have good credit, but my fiancé has bad credit. Once we are married will my credit be affected due to my partner’s financial choices?
A. In a nutshell, nothing happens to your credit when you get married. Your credit account is yours to keep, but it’s important that you continue using the cards and accounts that you already have in your name so that your credit history stays active. On the other hand, if you and your partner open any joint accounts together, then those will appear on both of your credit reports. Make a point to stay on top of any joint accounts to make sure your good credit rating will continue.

6. Q. I tend to feel jealous of my partner’s income and am afraid it will affect our future as a couple.
A. When people become jealous, envious, or resentful about the other’s career successes, it may be the result of his or hers own uncertainties. Jealousy can be a harmful and destructive energy. Focus on things that matter: Life is very much about money and success, it’s how you survive, but don’t lose site of the power of love. Some things in life are just not worth putting energy into. Broaden your aspects; keep life in perspective and look at what you, not what you haven’t.

Happy Loving!

Previous Articles: