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FDragon

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About FDragon

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 01/30/1986

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  • AIM
    goldseriestech
  • Website URL
    http://forum.psychicguild.com/index.php?showtopic=4805&st=0
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Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    California, United States
  • Interests
    Science, Technology, Computers, Sci-fii, Sports Entertainment, Music, Animation, Photoshop, Film, Video Games, Cooking
  1. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    The last five years have been time spent figuring out how the world really works and detoxing physically, mentally, and spiritually. I lost 140 pounds the right way through diet and exercise, no longer taking antidepressants/drugs, and I moved across the United States from California to the midwest alone to start a new job, and I no longer care about following the life script society has laid out for most people. I have discovered peace in silence and the value of having less. So much of my problems in life were from trying to follow the life script, of getting a good job and making money, getting married, having kids, and getting a nice home in suburbia. None of this is for me. I am ok with being alone with my thoughts to pursue my own interests. I believe in intuition and clairsentience but after my negative experiences with that dubious psychic who took advantage of me in 2011-2012 no longer believe in clairvoyance and the power of seeing into the future and predicting it. Nothing this woman said ever came to pass and I was scammed and lost a lot of time and money and myself. She used fear to manipulate me when I was weak and naive. I realize now that wanting to know what will happen in the future is a crutch. Also no one really knows 100% for certain what tomorrow will bring. I am strong and capable enough to handle whatever may come and I don't need to know what that is ahead of time. I need to trust in myself. The power has always been within. Separating truth from fiction has been a big theme in my life lately, and while the truth is often uncomfortable and unpleasant to hear at first, I wouldn't have it any other way. This would be my take away message to anyone else reading this. Trust in and believe in yourself. You are your greatest strength.
  2. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I return after a five year hiatus. Reading back some of these older posts, it's amazing comparing then to now. I almost don't recognize the person I was. I am a much stronger person now.
  3. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    Things continue to get tougher and harder, however I continue to do better. Hope tomorrow's rewards will be worth it.
  4. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I'm on an upward spiral. :) Despite feeling a little lost, my enjoyment and quality of life is vastly improving. I don't see myself going to that dark of a place in my life again, I pray I don't, I don't ever want to. I want to thank you all for sticking with me.
  5. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I've moved on from Lauren. It has not been easy. She was not a good friend and I've finally embraced that difficult truth. Since the end of December I've been meeting new people, trying to get involved with my immediate community and I've met a lot of nice and passionate people, some that I hope I continue to develop good and long lasting friendships with over time. For Valentine's Day I made a card by hand from construction paper and gave it to a friend, a new person that I'm interested in, so that was a big new step for me. I don't think anything besides a friendship will come out of it, which is fine. I think it was important that I put myself out there and showed myself that I still have that confidence despite everything that's happened. Things have not all been sunshine and roses. I still feel very lost and confused and after working with the "psychic" who took thousands of dollars from me, my spirituality is very shaken. I want to turn to someone for spiritual help and psychic help but I feel scared to after what I've been through. I don't want to get hurt like that again. I don't think I've recovered from the psychological aspect of what I've been through. I don't know where to turn for help to be honest.
  6. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    If something upsets me or if there is something I don't like I'm going to let people know it. I'm not going to me "mr. bottle up everything inside" anymore. Yeah they might not be happy or agree but that's fine. No more self censorship on my part. I got to look out for myself. I still feel uneasy when I get angry, but anger is a healthy emotion and not expressing it when I feel it is dangerous.
  7. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I finished paying off this psychic one last time. Emphasis on that. I completely made up my mind that this was the last time. Going to her is really a big part of the chain that was holding me down. So whatever happens or doesn't happen, I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to put all this behind me as a bad chapter in my life and slowly rediscover myself again. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, mostly because I've been diverting my energy and focus away from worrying about Lauren. Sure, I still miss her and care about her... but this turned into an obsession, an addiction... it turned into something that was hurting me. There are still times that I get depressed from being lonely, but I've been trying to keep busy at work, keeping in contact with friends, and trying new things to meet new people. I'm trying. I find myself missing my former puppy Aria, very very much. I keep seeing commercials on TV for the ASPCA and I just think to myself "she didn't end up that way because you saved her." Her new owner loves her and she is doing well. I miss my furry friend. I'm climbing out of the hole.
  8. FDragon

    Sorrowful no more!

    I too am having a hard time. I understand where you are coming from. A lot of the time I have this "I don't care/I don't want to do anything" attitude. Many days I don't want to even get up from bed, because I'm just so content being under my blankets. The world around us is going through a hard time too. It's just tough right now all around. Depression and anxiety is tough-- my battles with it have left me fatigued and I'm not sure I have all the answers. Just know you are not alone. *hug*
  9. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    What are you suppose to do when therapy and medication don't seem to be doing the trick? I feel like I'm in a hole I can't climb out of and I desperately want to get out. I don't know where to turn anymore. This whole Lauren thing continues to eat at me and I don't know how to make it stop, I want this to end. I want to move past this and be happy.
  10. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    Not much in news lately. Energy level has been kind of low, that might be due to a combo of teaching and research keeping me busy and combating depression. Life continues though, things are ok. I'm not where I want to be, and I'm not sure if I'm on the right road to getting there. I'm stronger than I've been in a while and I feel like I'm close to moving on from what's been plaguing my mind and heart. I pray there are no further obstacles along the way.
  11. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I've been meditating heavily on both of these things. I'm feeling good at the moment. :)
  12. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I can't have a pet at the moment do to various issues. If I could I would have kept Aria.
  13. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I miss my puppy. I gave her away to her new owners, they told me they would keep in touch and let me know how she's doing. I still need to give them the vet paperwork for her. Now I'm back alone with my thoughts... sigh... the empty/lonely/sad feelings about Lauren are crawling back...
  14. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I'm so in love with Aria, I really hope her new owners will love her as I do. They seem like a nice couple and they already have a dog so Aria won't get lonely. I can tell she doesn't like to be left alone, probably separation anxiety issues from being abandoned. I also hope they will keep in touch with me and let me know how she is doing from time to time. In the mean time I still have a few fun days left with her, so I'll make the most of them. I take her to work because I don't have the heart to leave her alone in my apartment. So far no problems with that, but if they come up I'll face the consequences.
  15. FDragon

    FDragon's Log

    I found a good home for her. I wish I can keep her but that would be selfish of me. An apartment life for a goldie retriever is not what is best for her; especially since I'm not home half the time. I'm keeping her for at least a week, getting her back to strength and health before transitioning her over to her new owners. I love her, I'm glad she came into my life, however brief her stay will be. She is an absolute angel.
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