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About eamckown

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  • Birthday 02/18/1992

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    music, literature, books, movies, fitness, intuition,
  1. eamckown

    Healing, please

    Hello everyone. I'm requesting some healing. I went through an unplanned breakup yesterday, of my own doing. I was the one that broke our hearts. I think I'm blessed in that neither of us is angry. But in a way, it also made it harder. We are torn by circumstance and my own confusion over the relationship. Being the breaker of a heart is probably one of the worst things I've ever had to do. The aftermath has blindsided me. Anyways, if you could send both of us some healing, I'd really appreciate it. And feel free to jump in with your own words of wisdom, experience, or any intuition that you think might be helpful. Bless all of you! :love:
  2. Forest green. It feels so earthy!
  3. eamckown

    Come Here For A Reading Offer!

    Finally! I feel like I'm in the space for a reading - all the other times I was available I just didn't feel like I'd be with it. Anyways, Possibilities, here goes: I got a lot of names in this reading, so please forgive if most of them are nonsense. I tried to type this as it was coming. I suppose this is in the realm of psychic medium reading, but there is some future stuff in here. Anyways! Let me know what seems relevant and what is off. Red roses, a bouquet of them in a glass vase with ribbon around them. I see them on a table; a dining room table..... There's a woman with mousy brown hair. I can see her quite clearly actually, her face. She has mousy brown hair that's quite curly, and a very warm smile that could warm a room. She has blue eyes. She's middle aged and carrying a basket. She's wearing a plaid shirt This all seems to be in a country house of sorts. I feel like it's in the country, or away from the city but I'm not sure. Anne. Annabelle? I see a cat. I understand there's a cat on your profile pic so I am totally biases heer, but I see one noentheless. But it's not the same cat. Hendrix, Helix, Henry? Morris? Greg? Allan. The number 10. Is there any connection with the number 10? The 10th month, day, hour, year? Again, the name Gregory/Greg. There's a crossroads in the future or upcoming (how isn't this true for everyone though?). But I get the sense that this may be a bigger change as opposed to a smaller one. You haven't had a big choice for change like this in a while. To make the best decision consult what will bring you the most utility and happiness, even if it's something material like a nicer home, a well paying job, etc. Watch out for colds. Wash your hands diligently over the coming week (good practice all the same, psychic stuff held constant :D ) You need to be sleeping more, says one of your guides. Were you thinking of someone when you were cooking a dish recently? Or preparing something? Know that they were there with you when you were doing this. That's all! It's not much, but hopefully there's something in there :)
  4. eamckown

    Come Here For A Reading Offer!

    The winner is.......Possibilities! The number I chose was 66. I'll get to your reading soon!
  5. eamckown

    Personal Altar

    :D Only the best!
  6. eamckown

    Personal Altar

    I've become a pretty mobile person over the last several years. I've lived on the US East Coast, Costa Rica, Armenia, and Norway, never mind the sporadic travels back home to the American West. It's can feel taxing. While I understand my mobile life is a function of my privilege, and while I chose this life, I'm getting more and more ready to have a permanent place to call home. Nonetheless, I don't have one, yet. As a result of moving to completely new places seemingly twice a year, I've developed a habit where I construct a personal altar in my personal space, (in this case, my bedroom). My personal altar is great for my wellbeing and mental health, and provides a space that feels more like home when I'm in a different environment. Personal altars never have to be anything fancy. But they also shouldn't be a place where you just throw your belongings, either. For me, the intent of a personal altar is to ground what possessions travel with me every day: a book I'm reading, my watch, my passport and wallet, my pendant, keys - as well as items that stay all the time for decoration - a terrarium, a skull sculpture, amulets, herb sachet, etc. In the past I've put pictures, crystals, and other personal trinkets. My altar also provides a space which is unequivocally mine, even if I'm in a foreign environment. Since this sacred space grounds my possessions and thereby myself, I think its proper to treat it with some reverence. I tidy it once a week (since it's also a place where all my things go, junk finds its way there, too!), and sometimes I even meditate over the space. I really recommend everyone construct a personal altar, if you haven't already. Think about what things you carry with you each day - these things are charged with your energy and make the space personal. And then think about the things that embody you. I think these items help reinforce and add a more permanent structure to the altar. Some ideas for what you can put on your personal altar: books, jewelry, tarot cards, plants, candles, scarves, incense, pictures, keys, crystals, amulets, etc. You get the idea! If it embodies you, it belongs on your altar! I'd venture to say most people on this forum probably have a personal altar. If you do, what sort of things are on your altar? What things do you use your altar for? If you want, share a picture of your altar! If you want to make an altar, what sorts of things do you plan on placing on it? Part of my altar is attached in a photo below!
  7. Hello, all! I'm back, and because I'm rusty, I'm giving a reading offer for practice! I am giving only ONE reading. I'll let some responses build up for about a day or two, depending on how active everyone is. I have chosen a number between 1 - 100. If you want a reading, put a guess in the replies and whoever is closest will get the reading! -E
  8. eamckown

    Back and running!

    Hey all! I come back here at odd intervals. I was going through all my old posts that date back to 2009. My, how life has changed since then. I don't have much time to write right now - I'm in the middle of National Novel Writing Month. But suffice it to say that I'm glad I found my log in and was able to get my account up and running. (Thanks, Victoria, for helping out!) I could have made a new profile, with a new email address, but I wanted to keep my old account. It's sort of a record I want to keep. Anyways, happy to be back! Looking forward to chatting. -E
  9. eamckown


    Hello, all I'm traveling across some pretty treacherous roads tomorrow. While it's not a "healing" request, it is a request for prayers/thoughts of safety. The last thing I need right now is some accident. Everything is appreciated. :angel:
  10. eamckown

    Family -- long rant warning

    I'm terribly sorry all of this has happened. Vicious cycles are the worst, and when it's your own family it must be excruciating. I agree with Sierra to a slight degree. I agree that you shouldn't over-think actions. But I disagree that your sisters' actions don't warrant your understandable responses (though I think you ought to change them). The order of bridesmaids seems trivial; the locket seems petty; the Facebook comments seem immature. At the end of the day, though, this behavior from your sisters is recurring. It IS, I argue, kind of a big deal she never wore that locket. It IS a big deal you were last among bridesmaids - if ONLY in principle. I gave my brother a pendant with my favorite quote - the quote in my signature. He wears it every day. On my birthday, he did the same for me, and I wear mine every day. Sure, it's a trivial notion. What does wearing a pendant mean, after all? Well, a lot, actually. Because we're emotional human beings. And actions, no matter how pointless in the grand scheme of things, are indicative of our feelings. My necklace is an important representation of the love for my brother. I refuse to believe your sister didn't know the principle behind the locket. I refuse to believe your sister didn't know what she was doing when choosing bridesmaids. I digress. But your weakness is (and Sierra correctly pointed this out) inconsistency. Being inconsistent only makes the issue bounce back to you. I completely understand swaying back and forth - becoming angry, resolving, trying to heal, then becoming bitter. The same cycle has happened to me personally and has happened to most, I think. But through being inconsistent we open a door for being labeled unreliable or immature. My intuition tells me your sisters think of you as a very closed off and isolated person by your own choice. If I were to have a conversation about the issue now, I feel as if they might say "How are we supposed to know when to include her or not? When we don't she's angry. When we do she's bitter." As Sierra alluded, self-reflection is what is needed. I think you need to take some time (actual time, not just one "sit down and think it out" session) to really assess where you are in life and how you want to handle the issue. I study international relations, so think of it as a state drafting a new foreign policy. In what ways specifically will you handle the dynamic, in accordance with what's best and healthiest for your security? I disagree that you should "give and expect nothing in return". You should only do that if you choose, not because it's the "right" thing to do. The bottom line is whatever you choose, it needs to be consistent. I'll return to Sierra's ideas of not over-analyzing. I think this is very important. As I said, our goal is consistency. Through over analyzing we subject ourselves to severe polarities in emotions. We dwell on the negative, reassess quickly, blame ourselves, apologize, cycle, cycle, cycle. I think you ought to limit your exposure to things that trigger over-thinking. I think you should think about getting rid of your Facebook. I'm digressing, but I think it's important. Facebook is a joke. The "I use it to keep in contact with my friends" is the largest heap of BS I hear daily. No, you don't - you think you do. I got rid of mine and have never been happier. I text, call, and otherwise maintain perfect contact with the people I want to just fine. Facebook is only a conduit for the things you're looking to avoid, it seems. Of course, you'll have to deal with the "WHY DID YOU DELETE YOUR FACEBOOK" jabs for a while - almost as if Facebook is a creepy media cult ostracizing critical dissent :P. The way I see it, you probably have many options, but two overall. 1) Cut the relationships off. Not completely, of course. You can still be polite. You can still "check-in". You can choose to interact, after some time. Seeking participation, though, ceases. You no longer go out of your way to make things "work", and you leave whatever outcomes may come with that, whether it be action or inaction on their part. 2) Actively participate and expect nothing in return - something I could never do, and my own bias makes me hope you won't do this. This seems one sided and painful. You're not a slave to doing things simply because we deem them the "proper" thing to do. If you feel fulfilled living a life of true Christ-like love of loving and expecting nothing in return(which should be the ideal, I submit) then do what brings you joy. The reality is, family isn't volunteer work. It's very much reciprocal. The main thing: pick and stick! That's the only way to break the vicious cycle.
  11. eamckown


    I'll keep an eye out for green and gold. And yes, throwing my computer against the wall seems like it would bring relief! I'll just have to enjoy playing out the scenario in my head. Honestly, the applications feel so short - everything counts. It's like, please explain in 600 words and a facial expression why you deserve to come here and the other 75% of applicants don't. Uhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... But I digress. If you get around to a reading - thanks :angel:
  12. eamckown


    I am applying to the most prestigious universities. For my field. Sure, there are plenty of very highly ranked California institutions, of which I'd love to go to. But none of them offer professional postgraduate degrees in international energy and resource policy :P
  13. eamckown


    All of my top picks are on the east coast :P I actually haven't even applied to one on the west coast. Still, glad to hear you're feeling positive about the outcomes! Thanks you :)
  14. eamckown


    I'm applying for entry into some very highly ranked post-graduate programs for next year. I have a few top picks, and am applying for 5 programs in all. Can anyone offer any guidance or insight? Thanks :angel:
  15. eamckown

    Extremely Vivid Dream

    I had those same thoughts, really. But I can't really chalk it up to anything for particular importance for the immediate present. Sure, I've reconciled and continue to reconcile my past. But doesn't everyone do that at many points in life? It doesn't seem that important. But, I suppose it probably means something. Unfortunately, I can never bring myself to really dig deep into dream meanings. Don't get me wrong: our subconscious comes out in force during dreaming. But that's the problem. I think a lot of times, really complex dreams are 99% psycho-babble and 1% something discernible. Moreover, I believe that dreams pan out how a person's brain works. If an individual is all about metaphor, symbol, and interpretation, I think their dreams might lend insights containing those types of "encoded" messages, if you will. My brain, conversely, which would rather see things as they are - directly - is much more prone to dream more literally. And, at the end of the day, I attribute dream symbolism as a tool rather than a metaphor where "x is y". I dreamed of my old school. I'm more inclined to believe that I simply happened to dream of my school that night, and upon awakening and reflecting, I explored what that might mean if "school is past," and from there gain any reflection that's beneficial. Dreaming, to me, isn't necessarily the subconscious granting advice through the forms of metaphor. As I said, it's mostly psychobabble to me. The events that transpire and the details, however, might inspire reflection upon a certain issue or personal topic. And then, there is, of course, the chance I dreamed of a past life. Which is infinitely more interesting and the idea I'd much rather entertain. :D