Jump to content
Universal Psychic Guild Forum

secondlife

Members
  • Content count

    37
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

About secondlife

  • Rank
    Member

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://
  • ICQ
    0

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    A touch psychic. Predictive dreams, clairaudient, in touch with guide, see ghosts on occasion, predictive hunches and brief visions. Favorite Tarot deck: Da Vinci.
  1. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    So this dream turned out to be more accurate than symbolic! On Thursday, I only rushed into the back of the store, looked at the space, and talked to the owner. I had to get to my appointment. But on Friday, when I took in the payment, it turns out the owner had actually turned his store into an Antique Mini-Mall... and upon inspecting the store, I found "Madame," a woman with a jewelry stand in the front of the store. Her jewelry was not on display yet, so I could not look for the bracelet from my dream. I actually did try to speak with her, but a man was monopolizing her with conversation. FRIDAY NIGHT'S DREAM Very often in my dreams, I am first-person someone else. I have to go by the clues given in my dreams to figure out who I am. (Mental note: start looking for mirrors.) I am driving along in a black SUV (which I don't own in RL) in the bad part of a city when I see a black man physically attacking a white man. Since they are in the middle of the street, I have to stop. The black man moves, and I can see now that he was trying to prevent a white man from beating a small boy. The white man stops beating the boy and convinces the black man he won't hit him anymore, so he pulls the boy by his shirt and leads them to their house, which is very close. I get out of my car and stealthily follow them right into the house. The boy's room is right through the side entrance, right through the kitchen past a yellow refridgerator. The walls are paneled in old fashioned 70s cheap wood-look paneling. The man throws the boy into the room and slams the door. He flips around in such a way that I think he'll see me (hiding in the doorway of the house), but he doesn't, and I rush out of there, fearing for my safety. I realize the gas in my SUV is running low, so I stop at a gas station very near the boy's house. The gas station is called "Blue Moon." I realize that in my rush, I've pulled into the gas station on the wrong side. In the meantime, two black pastors who were filling up their cars and talking amongst themselves (as if they were friends,) spy me. They come up to me to invite them to their churches, handing me business cards and being very friendly. I am not afraid. They leave as if to get into their cars, but one starts saying, "What is that hymn? The one that the white women like?" The other pastor says, "I don't remember...?" looking confused. The first pastor says, "You know the one, the one that white women like her like?" And he says, "Oh, yeah!" Then they start singing the hymn to me. (I don't remember the words.) It is around here that the dream ends. I do remember a detail such as grabbing my purse, and the purse is not mine in real life, so I did start wondering, "Who am I? What am I supposed to learn from this?" Well, I have to get going. Real Life is knocking. My husband and I have some vintage shopping to do, and an auction later. A dream told me a beautiful green dress is waiting for me at Goodwill :).
  2. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    All the steam went out of our fight, because basically it stands: we love each other tremendously. He says it and shows it every day, and so do I. We were both freaking out of financial high tides coming our way. His, fear of great losses of money. Mine, fear of great gains of money. And the solution that smoothed the stormy sea was a post-nuptial. He was very taken with the idea. After seeing some of the outrageous things his friends' ex-wives and ex-girlfriends' had done, it would soothe his fears about "me". And after me seeing some of the outrageous things that happened to the other women who inherited this money (like men trying to impregnate them so they could forever drain the women of money), my fears about my spendthrift husband woulld be eased. I guess what they say about post-nuptial agreements creating a more happy and peaceful marriage is true. My lawyer (from a past case) was indeed shocked when I came in with everything already hammered out. No divorce plans; and a specific plan for what the post-nuptial should say. He even tried to play marriage counselor at one point, when I said, "I know what's out there, and what I have is so much better." I think he may have been looking a bit forward to the $cash$ involved with a drawn out divorce case, but he is also known for his low prices, so he instead gave me the revised quote for his post-nuptial services. This should all be finalized within a week. PRECOG DREAM I had a dream on Wednesday night that I was at an antique/flea market-type mall that was having an event. As I shopped, a duo of young ghostwhispers followed. Apparently, they were the girls that helped me with my own small business. They were making comments about my competitors, especially "Madame So-and-So," who's ads were so old, they were from Halloween. I did occur to me that if these girls were my psychic partners-slash-sales girls, then where was my booth? No where. It wasn't open yet? We finally arrived at "Madame So-and-So's" booth. She gave me a dirty look. I smiled and casually started looking at her wares. They were mostly Wicdan-type items. She had something called an "oilet". This was a tiny glass dish, shaped just like glass dishes used in science labs, with gold letters painted on the bottom. It was meant to be used during annointing ceremonies, to hold the oil. This was her invention, and she was proud of it. I thought it was an interesting curiousity, so I bought it. One of my girls kept pestering me to buy a gold bracelet. i kept smiling and ignoring her; afterall, there was so much jewelry to look at. But, finally, when she wandered a way, I took a moment to look at the bracelet. It was composed of cryptic renditions of the human body. One "charm" might be a head, a torso and one arm. Another might be a torso and two legs. Each of these charms was linked together into a bracelet. Although the charms sounds gruesome, the bracelet was actually quite beautiful. Someone had poured molten gold metal into lines that formed these bodies, and the effect was lush. So I bought it. My girls returned, and we decided to leave. The girl who wanted me to buy the bracelet said: "Did you buy it? Did you buy it? It will protect you." I pulled up my sleeve and showed her, "Yes, I bought it." We went out of the building the backway. For some reason, I took a good look up and down the alley, and a good look at the back of the building. Then the dream pulled into the familiar white snow of a television screen. When the white snow appears, this indicates a dream that was shown to me intentionally as a full-blown sign. And a "sign" it was. PRE-COG DREAM FOLLOW-UP Of course, everything happens for a reason. And my lawyer's office happened to be near the shop where I was going to ask about renting space -- but never go around to it. (I didn't even know if the new owners would be open to the idea. In fact, I was so riled over our recent events that stopping by this shop didn't even enter my mind on Thursday.) I was running early, so I decided to walk down the parking alley to see if I could find a cup of coffee or something. And everything looked so familiar. Not from the last time I'd seen my lawyer - I'd parked in a completely different place and never was in this alley, ever. It looked familar from my dream. Then I was looking towards a building, and the "white snow" fuzziness happened. I saw that I was right behind the new antique place. And they had posted a sign in the window, "VENDOR SPACE AVAILABLE." I went inside. I was quoted a price for double the space and half the price of the other store I had visited! I said, draw up the paperwork, the space is mine. The owner said he had just gotten done clearing out the space, and if I had arrived much later, he suspected it would have been gone. And right next to me? Another vintage clothing seller. "Madame" who?.... I have yet to meet her :). Wish me luck.
  3. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    Yesterday, things got much worse -- then got much better. We are still on shaky ground, but our outlook is good. My husband came home with a divorce ultimatum. I have to accept that we have an in name-only relationship or divorce. So I assumed he meant: he didn't love me and he wanted to see other people. But typical surprise. He loved me and he didn't want to see other people. So I wonder, how is that different from still being married? What would make an identical relationship "in name only" instead of married? Turns out he was baiting me to suggest marriage counseling. But I don't feel I need it. So I'm getting the sense that he wants help. With my husband, I have to dig deep below the BS to find out what's really bothering him. And two things he didn't tell me: At work, someone (who didn't have the right) got into his personnel file and spread a (false) rumor that he was going to be fired for absenteeism. Completely false. My husband is an attendence stickler. (And this is why the person chose his file; how could a person like this be on chopping block?) The new point system based on the new contract puts *everyone* on probation the first instance they are late or absent. Nearly *everyone* at the plant is on probation. One or two points does *not* mean you are going to be fired, just monitored. And second, one of his good friends has been on disability for 4 weeks. His friend said if it took two more weeks, he would have to file for bankruptcy. This got my husband thinking about his own injury risks at work, and how we couldn't survive on disability. (Actually, we would survive fine for a short term stint -- savings. And as backup, my parents would pay our mortgage if anything catestrophic happened. But he's too proud to think of this route.) So he tells me neither of these things, and he's secretly freaking out that because I don't have a job that could support the both of us, he's got to divorce me and find someone who is a "good earner." But he absolutely loves me (99% of evidence supports this) and doesn't want to go this route. He just wants me to work at a nine-to-fiver. Well, I'm secretly freaking out because of what I found out. The only jobs within a 30 minute commute our gasoline/convenience store type minimum-wage jobs, and they're telling me they've got stacks of dozens of apps already on file to go through before they'd even get to me. And, again, we're back to moving. There are no alternate positions in this town -- other than factory, which are on skeleton crews -- that would pay enough to support us. He doesn't want me on a 45 minute commute to a city (and neither do I! I hate long drives.) So I tell him the truth, I'm doing the best that I can. (But the fantasy he has of me finding a good-paying job in this town is just that -- a fantasy.) The crux for me and divorce is: Is it me that's making him miserable? Or is he a naturally miserable person? I tend to suspect it's the latter. I did some research on Manic-Depressive, which is what he claims he is. Apparently, it's been renamed BiPolar I? Which he found upsetting when I shared this because he didn't like having the same label as his sister -- but I pointed out, her case is much more serious. And I also found out that statistically, 90% of marriages that involve a BiPolar mate end in divorce. He is twice divorced. His sister is twice divorced (and currently unwed.) So we only have a 1 in ten chance of making it? Compared in the horrible 50/50 odds that were already in place, LOL? Even more work cut out for me. Me? I'm happy. I don't have much to be miserable about. But come to think of it, I'd be happy living in a tent with a warm blanket, a can of beans and a dvd player. Am I in love with him? Yes, I have no problem loving him nearly every minute of every day. I can tell when he's entering a 'fugue' state when he starts a rant, so I just calmly ride it out. (But, yes, it still hurts sometimes.) Regardless, at my age, I need some stability and security. At the same time, should I divorce a person when I'm 99% happy with the marriage? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So I do have an appointment with a lawyer. It was supposed to be regarding a divorce, but now my husband doesn't want to hear the D word. (He wants to work on it.) So I think I'll start hammering out a post nupt agreement instead. This is the right time to introduce it to my husband since he brought this sitatution to a head. I think I need to start researching the bipolar situation to see if there is any hope for us long-term.
  4. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    Nothing to do with anything, but I had two real time visions yesterday. One of a brown spider building a glistening web right in front of my face, and the second of being inside a clock. I could see the hands and numbers on the face of a clock, but they were backwards and illuminated by an exterior light, as if I were standing in a clock tower. I had a huge fight with my husband on Tuesday night. He was angry about something and wouldn't tell me what. He knew if he did xyz, I would not be able to sleep, and thus would be faced with a day of pain and exhaustion the next day. But he did not care. Like I said, he was mad about something. So I am guilty of picking the fight. A lot went down, and he started threatening divorce -- again. He does this once every 3-6 months? I'm guesstimating. Even though I'd love to blame him for everything, the truth is that with everything going on with my mom, with my stepfather salivating over what he'll inherit if and when she dies, and with his personality being similar to my husband's in several ways -- I have to admit I'm worried about my financial future. If what's supposed to happen happens, I will be coming into a lot of money. It will stop when I die. Unless I put aside a trust or savings, no one will inherit my annuity. After seven years, it will be nearly double what my husband earns, and potentially triple. My husband accuses me of all kinds of things I would never do, so I have to assume what he is saying -- since he knows how I *really* am -- is projection. Is what he is capable of doing. Which would be dragging me through a bloody-rific divorce to get as much out of me as possible. Most of the time, our marriage is just fine. In fact, others envy us. But when we are fighting, the fragility is exposed. I do what I can to eliminate as much fragility as possible, but the truth is, love is just by nature -- fragile. I'm thinking my only solution here is a post-nuptial. I'm thinking I'll have to have a lawyer draw up a document to protect my future income. Now while we are married, I'm more than happy to share any $$ I have. I've saved up a lot, and both my parents have money, and give me gifts of money, so I share it freely. I share my possessions freely, and, in fact, material possessions mean little to me because they are easily replaced. But I do care about protecting my son's inheritance. If my husband divorced, took my money, he could easily leave it to another woman -- and divert it away from my son. I saw this happen to my son's father. (The $19,000 he stood to inherit when his father passed was stolen by his stepmom who absconded to Florida with it.) So I have to think legally how to protect my son. As for me, I hit rough spots, but I'm always protected (by family, by circumstances.) This actually drives my husband crazy. He'd be far more happy if I were financially dependent on him and forced to work or beg or plead for $$. He'd be far happier if I felt more obligated to him. But as it is, our relationship is based on love. My being here is based on love. And that is just far too fragile for him. He realizes I could take off anytime (but neglects to see that I stay because I love him), and it makes him very insecure. Insecure to the point of finding the only way he can regain a feeling of control is by threatening divorce. The money isn't here yet. As I said before, we thought it would be seven years. But I think receiving the news that it will (or at least should) be far less time than that is throwing me for a loop. I have to decide how to proceed. As for what I fear -- well, my husband calls himself manic-depressive, and during his depressive states, I am the cause for everything wrong in his life. (What's strange is that we have a very good life, very secure and fun in many ways, and he cannot see it. Maybe because I'm never depressed for long, I just cannot relate.) And I fear his verbal assaults actually affecting me. Most of the time they don't, but when my boundaries are weak, sometimes they do. So I have to tread carefully through his states. (I really think it's something far more serious, but I don't dare address it with him.) His sister is on disability for bipolar disorder, so my mom leans towards thinking he's bipolar, but she's only met him briefly a few times. I have my own issues left over from a very trying, religious upbringing, but I feel like I'm at a good place in life, having survived a lot of chaos and disaster -- to come out on the other side a better, stronger, kinder person. Would I be here if he had someone? That's a sticky question. He has no one. Father, dead; step-father, dead; mother, cancer and in another state; sister bipolar/suicidal and in another state. Brother, in another state. One best friend at work. And that's it. His whole reason for not moving to a better, happier place is that his one and only friend lives in this city. So I share my family with him (helping them set boundaries so they don't get hurt when he's in a phase), I share all of my love and support with him, and I do get a lot from him in return. But when he's in his bad 'state' of mind, he devalues me. He cannot see everything I've done for him. I think the answer is, "Yes, I would be with him." But I do wish he'd seriously consider moving to a better place with me. Instead, he's stuck in an area that almost looks bombed out with all of the abandoned homes (foreclosures.) I know he doesn't mean everything he says, and we do get around to sorting things out (what's true, what isn't) but bearing up to criticism is difficult. I have a lot to work out in my mind now that this money is coming.
  5. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    My second eldest brother stopped by yesterday. It was good to see him. The circumstances around his visit were fated indeed. As you know from my posts, my husband and I are 'pickers' -- that is, we shop used goods for objects were passionate about, to resell, hopefully at a profit (or to keep!). So lately we've been watching shows like Pawn Stars and American Pickers. I'll get back to this later... Turns out my brother's life's journey was changed by a single photograph of my grandmother sitting in front of a gasoline station. Turns out his property was the home of this gas station. And it turns out that the none of the locations of this specific brand of gasoline stations was known by the experts. So my brother started contacting the experts with his new information, and the experts pleaded with him to get more information, especially since he lived near the hometown of a University library that had archives of historic records from the area. In his delving, he found the location of several more stations, plus the location of the headquarters, plus TONS more information that they needed. He's decided to write a book about the man who founded these gas stations, as the tidbits he's discovered about this man are fascinating. So in my brother's journey, many people have GIVEN him, free of charge!, tons of valuable memorable to put towards the development of his book. This includes photos, gas delivery logs, address books, and much more. He was visiting our area to pick up a sign -- the very sign that hung in front of this line of stations -- and perhaps the only sign of it's kind left in the world. And his car broke down. And he needed some place to hang out while his car was being fixed. So he decided to hang out with 'sis. I'm so happy for him. He's always been a dreamer, but so many of his dreams have gone up in smoke. It's wonderful to see a dream come true for him. Everything is tangible for a change. And, of course, the fact that he is 'picking' is fascinating and inspiring to me and my husband. My brother came at just the right time to give me an extra dose of inspiration to re-start my business. I had always thought about writing a detailed blog about my most fascinating pieces, but lacked the follow-through. Now I'm revved up and ready to go :). To see my brother follow a dream inspires me to follow a dream.
  6. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    (Self-quote) I have to say how grateful I am to my guide for telling me this time of transistion would be months long, not days or weeks. I was so anxious to get started that I was stressing myself out. And stress brings on self-deprecation, health consequences, and marital problems. Instead of stressing out, I told my self -- that as far as the physcial went -- I'd have to build up my endurance. I couldn't go from being a couch-potato (post-rough-semester-at-college-veg-out) to superstar overnight. Even a ten minute walk (or ten minutes of physical activity) was tough at first. It's getting better, though. I was active (mild/mid range) for an hour yesterday. I was waiting for a sign about which direction to take. And my guide -- I believe it was my guide -- sent me a "LAUNCHING" Dream (this is what I call them). A dream that it was time to reopen my home vintage apparel business. I had poked my toes into the pool of standard, work-for-the-check employment opportunities in this area, and frankly, there are none. The US job market is still in a shambles -- especially here. I need to be available for my mom, and also my husband (particularly late summer/early fall) and classes (ugh!) So I needed the most flexible, historically-profitable business. I started last night. My passion for the work is returning. A long breather has given me a chance to gather my energy for the project. Now the tough work begins. Getting back out there. Implementing new ideas to help the business be on auto-pilot as much as possible -- while maintaining the personal touch. In my free time, I will be working on sub-projects too. I've given myself extra time (in my written goals) to achieve these projects since my primary business will take precedent.
  7. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    PRE-COG DREAM FOLLOW-UP Well, I vowed I wouldn't spend more than 15 minutes researching any dream. So after 15 minutes of searching variations of 136 + apartment, etc., on the internet, I quit, and ran my bath. In getting ready for my bath, I was looking for a book to read. I couldn't find the book I wanted to read, so I pulled a different on off the shelf. Disappointed, I took the book with me into the bath and started to read. And then I thought, 136? Could it be a page number? I turned to page 136. It was the start of a new chapter. This chapter was all about how to speak with people in a non-off-putting way. Within the short chapter was an example of tenant/landlord relations! Um... I get the message, LOL. ====================== I also had another dream that gave me a very clear "career" path under the given circumstances. My mind mulled over the options, and out popped the one that was most entanglement-free. I need to be 'mobile' in case something happens to Mom. My husband's on board with this option because it has a lot to do with our future plans and dreams. I begin today!
  8. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    I had a dream last night that my husband I rented an apartment in a large city. The apartment had three bedrooms. The plans was that it would not only be our home (including my son), we would also have my brother, my mother, and my stepfather spending some time there -- so they'd pay a small part of the rent too. We had signed a lease where we got a "free" bedroom. That is, we were charged the rate of a 2-bedroom apartment and got the 3rd room "free." The third room, as the landlady showed us, was completely remodeled. Though all of the apartment was nice, this room was exceptional. It was painted in pale green and had soft, white curtains that floated in the wind. It had a long credenza filled with storage space. And an old-fashioned black wrought iron bed. After we had stayed there a while, the landlady came in, unannounced, and started showing the room to an older man! I said, "What are you doing here? We've already rented this place." She told me that the "free" room deal was only until they could rent out the room! She said we were already violating the number of people staying in the apartment, that three rooms was limited to four people. I said, that's stupid, you could expect two people per room, or up to six people. But she said, "Not without the third room, which isn't yours." I told her no way was she renting out our room because it was the only place any of us could get a restful nights sleep. So I went downstairs to the busy rental offcie. Ours was a large apartment building with tenants constantly milling about, paying rent, putting down deposits, etc. I told the stafflady that my apartment number was 136, and that I needed to see my original lease as the landlady hadn't given me a copy. She said OK but ignored me otherwise as she continued with what she was doing. I waited to the point where i got so impatient, I went into their filing cabinets myself. I pulled out my file (easy to find as they were organized by number.) To my surprise, my cash deposit was in there, a big wad of money, probably first months and lasts as required. I told the stafflady, do you realize there's cash in here? Why haven't you deposited it? She said they were very disorganized right now, and not every deposit had been put in the bank yet. I pulled out another file and showed her someone who paid cash for rent still had a payment stuck in a file. I started quizzing her on what was going on? She said they weren't making a profit, couldn't afford more than two staffers for the office, and no one wanted to make the trip to the bank carrying cash in this area, so cash payments lay stagnant. I said this was moronic, that it's ridiculous that they are trying to rent rooms *inside* apartments to get more money -- when they were sitting on so much cash already! I started thinking of how I could help out. As I suspected, my lease said no such thing about the landlady being able to sublet rooms in my apartment, so I got her to leave us alone. The dream ended about as I was throwing her out. After I woke, I wondered what this all meant, and especially why I dreamed of the number 136.
  9. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    I feel like such a fool. How could I not see what was right in front of my eyes? Mom landed in a hospital when a pharmacy sent her the wrong dosage of a script. She was told a single bruise could cause her to bleed out. Now she knows how easy it is to kill herself; take the wrong dosage. A small cut would kill her! The dream of the bloody bathtub! I'm such an idiot. I didn't put two and two together. Then her not wanting to be diagnosed with depression, bipolar?, whatever, that would actually help her. Why? Because her husband's insurance is more likely to cover a mental health facility than a nursing home. Duh! She's right! She should *continue* avoiding being 'labeled' for now. Maybe forever. Not with her husband's finger on the trigger button. She also knows she has to succeed if she tries "it". Her husband said he'd divorce her if she "attempted" it. The dream of the symbol of the tampon -- clean, empty -- symbolized the loss of her fertility and sexuality, and consequently her beauty. She says she feels invisible. She was a beauty, which is how she landed such a young man! She allowed too much of her self-esteem to be dependent on her looks, and even though she's still beautiful, she's in those unkind sixties, where fighting aging becomes a losing battle. No more young men checking her out, drawing into conversation, simply acting as if she existed. I feel hopeless and helpless, and keep gettinng signs and messages to dawdle, drag my feet, about a new job, because I'm going to need to be available soon. And it's clear why. She'll have a good day. She sounds chipper on the phone. And then the next, she's in a dark place again....
  10. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    Very strange dream last night! A woman knocked on my door. It was a sliding glass door. So I ran to answer it, and, just like a bird, I failed to see the door was closed and ran SMACK! Headfirst into the door. Knocked myself out. As I started coming round, the woman (still on the other side of the door, and apparently a friend though I didn't recognize her from real life,) said, "I know your faking. Come on, we'll be late. I was so dazed, I could not even respond. She said, "Okay, fine, then you know I'll get the job." And she left me there like that, still on the ground! I was so dizzy and out of it, nearly unconscious, that I decided to try to crawl to my bed. I only got about half way there and collapsed, passing out again. I woke to a different woman standing over me. She was waving a protein bar and a bottle of water in my face. She asked me what I did to myself? That the other woman had sent her to check on me. It was then that I noticed, I was so concussed that my tongue was stocking out -- and I was drooling! I could not even sit up, or move for that matter. She kept saying that if I got up, she'd give me the protein bar. Like I cared. Finally, she caved and slid me up half onto her lap, half on one of my elbows. I was propped up. She gave me some water and then I took the bar from her and had a bite. I had a feeling then that I wasn't braindamaged -- as my vision was good and I understood everything being said -- but like the other woman, she was urging me to "Get ready." To "stop faking it." And that she'd drive me to my appointment, apparently a job interview. The dream ended here. Very, very strange!
  11. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    Thank you, Victoria. This is really good to know, and I do thank you for the support. The brother who is supposed to watch out for her as he lives closes, lives in a la-la land where things llike suicide don't exist. If I told him, he'd break my confidence (as he always does), laugh at me, then ridicule my mom for being so silly. He and his wife are using her for free childcare. My mom is afraid to say no because she thinks her DIL will cut off all contact between her and her grandkids if she does. I ask her to get 'real' therapy instead of one of those pill-mill, depression doctors that only see a patient 5 minutes every six months to renew their scripts. But she won't. I ask her to talk to my SD about what she *really* wants to do with her will. But we both know he won't let her. They have a multi-hundred thousand dollar estate, and he wants it all. She really had to fight to even get $1K put in for books for my son's college. She wants to leave me $10K but my SD won't let her. I don't want to gain from her death, so it's okay. But it's wrong for my SD to not let her leave any money at all to her kids. (We are aware the only thing will get is my mom's personal possessions he gathers up for Goodwill.) She worked really hard to get where she is, and she wants to share it with her kids. She even spoke of sneaking the money to me, or hiding it in the house. (But I still hold she needs to be honest with her husband, no matter what. Or her plan will backfire.) He confessed in a whisper, right next to my mom, to me and my husband (while she was distracted) that he was with her for money. She wonders why he stays, but it's clear: if he waits for her to die -- instead of divorcing her -- he gets everything. And he's very materialistic. Yes, it's very hard for me, because I'm her *only* confidant other than a sister, but she still choses to confide more in me than her. It's a huge secret, and I want to be able to tell my brotther and SD and know they would support me in helping her. But they just aren't like that. They are the kind to laugh, criticize, put down. Which would only make her feel betrayed by me, and put her deeper in the pit of realization that they're just using her. I'm between a rock and a hard place.
  12. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    PRE-COG DREAM FOLLOW-UP Yesterday, my husband came home early from work without calling me first. I was mad because I made plans for the day, and he was wedging right in, getting in my way. If he had only called me, I would have rearranged my plans, jumped in the bath, and we could have gone out and done something fun! So we were bickering away. I asked him to help me move something in the room. After moving the piece of furniture, he reached down to grab a black cord, lifting it up like it was something magical. He said it was the missing cable he couldn't find! Sometimes things happen for a reason. After that, we didn't bicker so much; the atmosphere got calmer. PRE-COG DREAM FOLLOW-UP Maybe the two are unrelated, but the morning after the night I had the dream about the little boy, blonde, around age 5, these news titles abounded, "Alla Kournikova charged with child neglect after boy, 5, jumps out window of Palm Beach home." He landed on rocks and survived. Turns out she'd locked him inside the house to go run errands. Don't know for certain if this was a pre-cog dream or not, but some threads definitely overlap. "According to police, he jumped some 15 feet down while barefoot, landing on some side-yard stone between two air-conditioning units. "The child stated he hung by his hands before letting go," the report said." (Just as in my dream.)
  13. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    I had a strange dream the night before last. In it, I had a very young son and daughter (in RL, I only have a son). The son was a wild child, getting into all kinds of mischief. A woman in a store said he'd gotten into the offices, and I needed to go get him. When I got there, he was a second floor window (one of those windows within a building, like a building within a building.) He was crawling out the window! I screamed, "Get somone up there to save him!" at the same time I was running towards the door. But the woman said not to worry, he'd already gotten himself down once. He dropped himself out the window on top of some kind of product bin with a firm lid. From there, he crawled down some stuff and reached the floor. Then he headed back towards the entry to do it again! I nabbed him. Got he and my daughter into our car -- a limo with a driver no less, because in this dream, I was wealthy. I had to drive them to a place where we were going to attend a memorial for someone who had passed. As we were driving, I saw 3 women running down the road (a dusty gravel road, btw). The driver told me they were running from a nursing home that was really a sanitorium, they just called it a nursing home for the benefit of the residents. Being a vintage clothing collector (in real life), I noticed two were wearing pegnoirs, and was wearing a satin -- possibly silk -- robe. The driver told me residents often escaped because of lax security, but usually were found quickly -- or even returned on their own -- due to the remote nature of the facility. We drove up to what I discovered was a disconnected wing of the very same facility. Little did I know, the person who had diead was a resident of this wring. I forgot to mention I had a nanny with me. As I went upstairs, she changed the children's clothes right there in the car. I checked up on their progress by peering out a window, and she had my kids dressed all in black. This was pretty much the end of the dream. What was disturbing was my phone call from my mother yesterday. She is again in a deep depression. She spoke of her robe, and how old and ratty it was, but how she felt since it had some wear left in it, she didn't deserve -- or want? -- to replace it. I asked her if it made her feel attractive because that is what was important, in addition to function. Then she shared some deeply personal thoughts on her looks, her marriage, her status in life, etc. Apparently her husband (my step-dad) has taken to calling her "insane." Not once, not twice, but now as a regular thing during their fights. I keep sensing her depression might lead to suicide, or a stress-related coronary, and, unfortunately, the signs I received are pointing the same way. Though she didn't say it out loud, the dream told me that's she might be fearing my step-dad might put her in a sanitorium (mental health facility) instead of a nursing home when the time comes. (He's many years her junior.) She is frantic about many things, so I told her to call me anytime. My husband and I will visit her as often as we can. I'm out of the loop as far as what will happen to her if she needs nursing care (because I'm committed to taking care of my Dad, and one of my brother's to caring for Mom.) But if my SD tries to put her in a mental health facility at this late stage, we will have words. My mother and I repaired our shaky relationship several years ago. We are on good ground, and the one thing I can say -- other than our wish to spend more time together -- is that we said and did every positive thing we were thinking about each other before she passed (IF and ONLY if she passes, that is.) I rarely communicate with my SD as he barely communicates with any of us (his wife's kids.) Asking him to stop doing this would fall on deaf ears.
  14. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    Yes, one of my grandmother's even helped me relieve some physical symptoms of an illness, and she'd already passed over. Very amazing. I'm just so surprised Great Grandpa came through. =================== I received two more messages that the money was coming early, one from someone online, and one from my dad, who has more knowledge of what is *really* happening than I do. He made an estimate of by the end of 2010. Whoah! Well, like I was advised, I'm not resting on my laurels until it happens. I've been negotiating some space to sell my goods -- but the first genuine offer I got, I think the rent was too high and the distance too far. He's willing to bend, though, so I might just test the waters, see if I can get a 2 months for the price of one deal. As for the Real World job, I hate the thought of getting hired knowing I'd probably have to quit the end of August (to work with my hubby in September.) But then again, I get the feeling it's going to take months to find a job (when I started looking, there were barely any jobs of available, and all too far, I mean an hour or two drive at minimum wage! It'd cost more in gas than I'd earn.) So I'm just going to keep trying. So many factors could change between now and then. So I bought some clothes (like new from Goodwill, didn't break the bank) for job interviews. First, I'll start going to local businesses (through the next three or four weeks), gathering apps, turning them in. I know the only way I'll get a job is if I'm the lucky one out of a great pile of apps, but it's worth trying to get a local job that won't cost me an arm and a leg in gas. I woke up so ambitious today, but around ten o'clock, a splitting headache forced me into the bed to take an extra dose of my scripts, and I was out like a light. I only just woke up! Feel like a Lazybones! My husband had a really depressing encounter with a 'friend' last night. His friend said, in our position, we should be doubling our payments on our house. (Is he nuts?!?) I have no idea what he was talking about, or where we'd come up with nearly a grand extra of money a month. I think he thinks that between my (ex) home business and my husband's home business, we should be netting a grand a month. But not many part-time home businesses churn that kind of dough! And, even so, we have other expenses to meet. I asked my husband not to let this man veer us off our ten year plan. We had already discussed saving enough to put in one or two double-mortgage payments a year. Given the fact that I'm not working outside the home yet, I feel it's enough! And, even after I'm working, it'll still be a stretch, because 50% of my income will be gone off the top (taxes and another payment) -- even if I get minimum wage, I'll actually only bring home $3.50 an hour! (In my state, degrees (or nearly achieved degrees) are virtually meaningless because of the complete dirth of jobs.) I'm worried that my husband might of mentioned the money I'm expecting to this man. I don't trust the guy. But we need him as a business contact. The reason I'm so scattered when it comes to all things financial and work-related right now is because I thiink, with time on my hands and no classes this semester, I should reactivate my home business. But if I do, will it cause me to illogically turn down a job? Or try to do both and the same time and fail at both? I've decided that I need to pull out my old business plan and read it over (goal for tonight). I want to dust it off, re-enter it into the computer (lost my original copy!) and make adjustments that include a clear EXIT PLAN. Because dropping off the face of the earth is bad for my reputation. So confusing. ==================== I had a dream recently where a man was asking me about a cable, about my husband, if he was selling this cable. It felt like he was bugging me over and over -- like he really needed this cable -- to the point were I woke up. My DH was already up, so I asked him, "Are you selling cables right now?" He said, no, and that the only guy who buys cables from is so-and-so. So-and-so sent him an email a couple of days later, but no request for a cable. Then DH got another email. He'd forgotten to include a cable with a shipment, LOL. And if you've ever tried to hook something up, you know how frustrating a missing cable can be.
  15. secondlife

    Second Life's Blog

    I received a message from my Great-Grandpa last night! In my dream, I was at a family party surrounded by my mom, an aunt, and my aunt's friends, as well as other relatives. An older male stepped in and said, "Do you remember which of your grandma's rode in a buggy with a horse?" I said, "I think it was my great-grandma, Little Grandma [as we called her]." He said, "Yes. Do you remember your graduation?" I said, "Yes." "I wanted to give you this." He handed me a very thin book that was about 8.5" x 11" in size. He opened the book to the front cover and pointed out an inscription. He said, "This book was for you." I read the inscription; it was something about his pride in me. I looked up and asked him why he was showing this to me now? It had been so long since my high school graduation. He said that he wanted to let me know how proud "they" were of me, and that once I have my AA, they want me to get a second AA. Despite the advances in education and availability of college, only one of his grandchildren/great grandchildren (that I know of; at this point in time) has a BA, and that is my younger brother. Even high school diplomas are rare in his lineage, though GEDs abound. In the message, the fulcrum point of this was based in the fact that I'd be getting enough money to not have to work every hour of my life (as in the past, I used to put in 60-80 hour weeks). Also, the availability of the new funding for tuition is key. A LOT of things are coming together. And I am kicking myself that I chose to take this semsester off! But I really needed the break. It was so nice to receive such a pronounced and clear message from my ancestors. I am adding this to my long-term goals.
×