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About Neno

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  • Birthday 06/06/1986

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  1. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    (Edited for you! well, and for myself...) My drinking has also been... edited. as well as my attitude.
  2. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    Doo do do... back again. so, has anyone been able to shut off streetlights on purpose? There are always a few on my routes that notoriously go out when I drive by. There was one that was already out when I saw it, so I decided it would be fun to try and turn it back on before I drove by. So i "flared out" so to speak. and I turned off one on the other side of the road instead. Anyone else been able to do that? What else, OH YEA. I noticed that there are a lot of times when myself or others say things like, "oh! I was thinking about _______ at _______ time!" In any regards, like food cravings, or something as calling someone. I am extremely connected with my father. We both tend to come home with the same grocery cravings EASILY 3 times a week. When I was little I used to be able to talk to him without talking, but he only reminded me of that recently. I had completely forgotten "conversations" we had had when I was little. I am also very connected with my boyfriend, which of course isnt a bad thing. I call him when he is thinking of me, I can read him SO easily (much to his chagrin) and he is the one that I can empathize with from towns away. I most certainly believe in strong bonds with people. Ok, beer calls to me. Night to whoever reads my rants. -Neno
  3. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    Dot- The synesthesia is something I have to think about for the most part. Although sometimes its like smoke floating past my vision, not really there but enough to catch my attention. It's only overwhelming in the sense that if I don't like a song, its absolutely ugly to me. Most retail songs are so BLAND! barely a bouncing thread, let alone anything interesting.(I guess that doesnt really make sense) Its texture, colors, movement, shapes, sometimes images if the lyrics of the song are in tune with the music.... I think when I'm focusing on it it turns more into my imagination running around. Um, as for the empathy lately, the spike is dying down. I definitely decided that I can't care so much about what others think about me, and I think it responded... for the most part. But I have noticed one thing. I've never really been good at talking on the phone, and its kinda a phobia... to a degree. Now that my newish job involves me doing a lot of phone interviews, I decided my empathy is VERY local to where I am. I can't interact with them like I would in person, so I just kinda throw comments and questions in, and I'm all awkward and stuff... Social graces were never my strong point to begin with. But I just CAN'T judge them or their reactions. Anyone else notice something similar? On a lighter note, I quit one of my jobs and got "promoted" in the other. My sanity (and general happiness) is slowly returning... Technically it's less money, but it's also less stress... And I can't wait for school to start, I'm taking an advanced literature course and a film course. AND I AM OFFICIALLY HALFWAY DONE WITH MY MASTERS DEGREE! WOO! I feel all smart and stuff.
  4. I like that, a lot. I'm gonna go hunt for purple lights now :D
  5. Neno

    EAM Blog

    I'm sure it has a lot to do with personality, what we... naturally? (I suppose that's the word I want) want to feel certainly must affect our sensors. Being drawn to something versus being repulsed by something. If someone wants to be a martyr, they will have to actively change their stance to prevent it. I guess this almost sounds too obvious, but its knowing yourself, and making yourself.
  6. Neno

    mini psychic game for fun

    Hey EAM, I think you must have caught me on fathers day (when you posted this) I made strawberry shortcake for my dad and had dinner on the deck for the first time this year, we have a large slider door that goes into the kitchen, it gets a nice breeze. um... I don't really do predictions... hang on... uh, a man with a beard and a book by the sunset/rise? Lots of orange and white. yea good luck with that one... lol.
  7. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    I'm not a big fan of doctors, or taking medicine, heck I rarely take aspirin when I get headaches...I was off and on anti-depressants for something like 10 years, I just don't like not feeling like I should... if that makes sense. I know I'm in a crappy spot in my life, I don't want to be placid about it. Yea, I tried to see the counselors at my school, but they were like, "is it an emergency?" When I said no, they made me make an appointment and I of course never went. It took the courage I had to go in the first place... ugh I was a mess. It's cool, I'm going on vacation on Friday... In the past 38 days, I have had 3 days off from work :P I guess I'm pretty sane considering! (2 jobs) Ya know, now that I think about it, the times I "spike" with my empathy is when I was off the anti-depressants. Maybe that's why I hate them, it turns me off. As much as I b*tch about it, its my social safety net and something I have always had. I just have to figure out how to turn the volume down from an 11 I suppose... hmm. I need a shower and some beer. Its been a 12 hour work day for me. p.s. a friend admitted she was gay, I told her I already knew, and she was mighty confused. I just told her I had gaydar. It was easier. Is being psychic/empathetic/ect like being in the closet? Damn.
  8. Neno

    EAM Blog

    I pretty much do the same thing. I'm thankful to have a few friends that know when I hermit...
  9. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    that would be pretty impressive, Angel. I usually listen to some random stuff! As a personal update, I went to my boyfriend's grandfathers funeral yesterday. I quickly discovered I am really bad at this empath game I've been playing... It was a beautiful ceremony. There was so much love and sadness... But his family tends to be uncomfortable displaying emotion to each other. I thought I would be ripped in two! The part that caught my attention was during the ceremony at the Veteran's Memorial, during the gunfire. I was seated behind his grandmother, and I saw stars over her head (could have been the massive headache) and then something out of my side-vision... It was both an opportune time to see something, as well as coincidental. My heart says it was his grandfather comforting her, my brain tells me it was me wanting to see something. I'll work out which I want later. But the night before the funeral, I was obsessing over what to wear (I have never been to a funeral with the family, too much black? not enough? ugh. stupid fashion...) And I thought to myself, this is alright, right? And I pictured his grandfather, and head him say YES! (exasperated yes... oops) and head a newspaper rustle... Once again, my heart says I saw it, my brain says I'm crazy. But I still wore my grandmother's pearls to the funeral, that way when I get married, his Grandfather will at least know someone there :) And now I'm in the library again to detox my brain.
  10. Neno

    Let's create our own reality

    All I want is a full time job, with full time pay...which means I could move... I guess we want the same things. Sounds like a plan.
  11. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    actually, I've been debating drawing the songs I like... I'll just need a really long piece of paper for the song. Some people have some really cool versions of Synesthesia, most people have some version of it and don't realize it. Aversion therapy hmm? I'll look it up...
  12. Neno

    Neno's Blog

    Jumping off EAM's happy little blog and some other rather sound advice, I suppose I should start somewhere. read at your own negative-energy-risk I suppose. Mostly I blame my "condition" (for it affects me, and I cannot control it)on the atmosphere I am in, buildings have a huge effect on me. I remember visiting the holocaust museum and walking through a wooden crate that was used to hold people before they were killed, not only did I see stars, then darkness, but I promptly fell over. Walking into a room affects me, churches affect me, and thankfully schools and libraries affect me. I say thankfully, because that's where I am right now, and I just whipped out 10 pages of a 20 page paper on the Decline and Views of Magic in the 17th Century as shown by Dr.Faustus and The Tempest (wicked fun, no really, I love this sh*t). I had to take an incomplete in one of my Master's Courses because I just couldn't write it. I haven't been able to write for over a month. I realized recently it was because of the atmosphere of where I am living. I had to move back in with my parents. Hooray. Just what every 24 year old that just graduated with honors from a decent college, but can't find a job needs. The best part, is that they just declared bankruptcy, or is it that they are alcoholics? Maybe its that they both resent each other for the situation they are presently in. The house reeks. Everything fogs in my head, I flatline and hear white noise. the place needs a (expletive) exorcism. Did I mention I drink twice as much as I used to? Yea, its fantastic. Ahem. Before I truly realized that this isn't something that will go away (it has before, I have years where it spikes and comes back, then disappears into nothingness, I used to have some clairvoyance, that went away.) I just thought I was a mimic, I reflect back what others feel for me, and any other emotions or loyalties they feel. It makes for great conversations, it makes for bad drunken nights of regret.... Anyways... I can't stand crowds, cities, parties, too many people in my head. I just get so tired, I get to the point where I can't function... But I always thought I was just a painful introvert with anxiety problems (I guess that's still feasible). I used it to my advantage, I can manipulate people to get them to do what I need, I made a great Vice President for my sorority. The only part I can truly embraced is the Synesthesia, I see music. colors, textures, everything, good music is a technological fireworks show. Numbers have colors, each letter of the alphabet has characteristics similar to personalities. I love to throw people off, "Why do you like that song?" "Because it looks cool." Recently I have found (during this spike) that I know what authors were feeling when they were writing their books. I know if they were bored, pissed, drunk, hurting, ect. Probably why this paper is so much easier. Its kind of cool, but a little distracting. So... yea... I'm sort of stuck in the "now what" of realization. There are so many big, touchy problems that I don't get to take care of myself without taking care of others first, but I can't take care of others because I can't function until I take care of myself. Cyclical hell. Whats that? admitting you have a problem is the first step? I think I'll be hearing a lot of that for a while.
  13. Neno

    EAM Blog

    reading that, my brain said, "well then, empaths must be the busybodies of the psychic world"