Ok, where to start.....
I'm beginning to think "forgiveness" is overrated. But, then again, I'm not even sure I know what forgiveness is. I have my boyfriend, he is a recovering narcissist (he just doesn't know it), if there is a such thing. I'm beginning to believe there is. Anyway, he made a mistake with a stupid girl (no, not sex stuff) that made him a stupid boy. I say this because the things he did and said made me call him "stupid" over and over again in my head. She's stupid because she coulda had a great friend but unfortunately she has a very bad habit that makes her lose all her friends that are girls, er, women...i'm probably going to be referring to all of us as boys and girls just cause its just what i'm use to. We are all adults, very much so. AGAIN, anyway...what he did really hurt my heart, my feelings, my trust, our relationship, etc. I stayed with him because I really do not believe he wanted to screw her, I just think her flirting gives him a big head (no, not the one in his pants). He loves to have his ego stroked and she loves to stroke men's egos. The flirting bothered me because I noticed her flirting wasn't just how she was. She wouldn't act that way when her boyfriend was around and I caught her slipping a couple times in my presence. Another time, I don't think she realized I could hear her real well on the other side of the door. That told me she was trying to be sneaky with it. I bit my tongue incase it was just me being jealous, but then my other friend was like, "dude, wtf is she doing?" She was in the other room throwing darts with my boyfriend giggling her little ass off like a little school girl. THEN when I went to confront her about it, what does my boyfriend do? HE TOTALLY HAS HER BACK ON THE SITUATION!! That ######ing idiot! I wasn't even talking to him, I was talking to HER! ######ING IDIOT!! That ###### hurt. Here's this b*tch being disrespectful in my house, flirting with my boyfriend, calling me her bestfriend, LYING to me, as if I'm ######ing delusional, trying to tell me she wasn't giggling, that they were just talking. I HAD A WITNESS! Thank God! And this was after these two little assholes got caught up in this bullshit texting incident. To make a long story short, I had asked him if he heard from her that day, he said no. That was a lie, he had been texting her asking if she wanted to throw darts, blah blah blah, she was like, "you can come over here and we can play", he said, "I'd love to but my woman is asleep and I don't think she'd be too happy about that." She's all like,"wait, what? I thought this was her!!" Yeah!! Dumb b*tch tried saying the whole time she thought she was texting me cause she had him under "him" and had me under "him's girl so and so." AND THEN she comes to me acting like she has my back with him being all disloyal, offering up her phone as if he was being inappropriate with her, which he wasn't, unless she deleted those texts because she was probably being inappropriate back. Telling me that he asked her why she gave me her phone and that she told him, "because that's my girl and that's how I roll." Come to find out she actually apologized to him for it because I just yanked it out of her hand!!! Looking over this I could see someone wondering why I don't believe her and to that I say..."CAUSE SHE'S A BONAFIDE HOMEWRECKER!!" It's a damn shame how horrible I am at reading people. I honestly thought this girl was a true blue good Christian woman. Once I got a peek through that wool, I opened my eyes and started realizing she is scum of the earth. No wonder she has no girlfriends. I honestly thought she was going to the back room to "talk" to these guys. Like her Christian beliefs made her some kind of sought after therapist for troubled minds of married and engaged men!! She slipped and forgot I had cameras outside my garage and I busted her kissing her friend who was engaged to who use to be her friend. That ain't no ######. She's wrecked my good friends marriage and yes I know it takes two to tango but these dumb ass men see her legs and ass for days and her bubbly, ego stroking personality and they get stupefied. Boy don't they end up regretting it. They all stay with their wives/girlfriends because they love them and they see what she really is about and they don't want that, not in the long run anyway, but the damage is done. How do you forgive someone for hurting you like that? I use to consider the situation was forgiven, but every time I think about it, I get so angry and hurt!! I wish so much I could just get the ###### over it, but I cant. What happened to loyalty? Honesty? These damn b*tches I keep mistaking as friends, what the hell is wrong with them? This new chic we met seemed pretty cool, but then she throws in her wrench by sending my man a friend request and not me!! (I hate that that sounds so childish) Then its like, I should've went with my gut the very first moment we met, or she met my man. She stared at him and I couldn't quite make out if it was a "hey you look familiar" stare or a "hey, you look kind of fun" type of stare. After that, every time she came over she would just stare at him when she would talk to "us." This one night she was on the phone trying to hang up and used me as a scape goat, "hey I gotta let you go so I can help this b*tch with her dinner!" I hate that passive aggressive ######!! She makes it like she's just trying to get off the phone, but calling me a b*tch? I wish I would have said something then and there. But sense then she has just been so super duper nice. Giving me a hug when she sees me, apologizing for not coming around. I got so much more, but I have things to do.
Any thoughts or 2cents, advice, whatever is welcome.