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About AuroraLily

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  1. AuroraLily

    Dark Energy Removal

    Captain, you comment brought tears to my eyes because it rang so true. Thank you. I am going to write down some of the key phrases you used in my journal to make sure I make letting go, forgiving and being truly healthy in spirit in mind a priority right now. Thank you so much!
  2. AuroraLily

    Dark Energy Removal

    Thank you, Captain. I have been aware of my inability to "let go" and struggled with it for a while now. I think that I'm afraid that letting go will leave myself vulnerable to being hurt again. In the past I've been, what I feel, is very naive and warm which I felt people took advantage of and made me feel very used. I have trouble forgiving that after the fact. The snow is interesting. I have been becoming more critical lately. Perhaps as another protection technique? I be working on positivity and openness from this point on, however. Thank you very much! This has been very enlightening.
  3. AuroraLily

    Thanks for Having me!

    Hi DTMP! I came here to find control and personal health and safety as well. The issue with your friend and the scratches sounds frightening. I hope you're able to find help here, too. Just like Chiili recommended, I am working on the personal protection visualizations with "white light" and planning on looking more into grounding meditation. Maybe we'll meet on the other boards on the topics! :)
  4. AuroraLily

    Dark Energy Removal

    Hello, Captain! When you have a moment, I would love for you to work with me on removing any of my dark energy. Thank you!
  5. AuroraLily

    Bad lucid / paralysis experiences

    Philosophergate: Thank you for responding. I read your comment last night before bed and decided to think on it for a day before responding. I plan to head over the check out "The Captain"'s thread after posting this. It is interesting about the white light before I've done that before. It was a technique I used back in the day before I started to lucid dream. I would be shaken from a frightening dream, so I'd imagine my body dark with a small white pinprick in my chest. When I found really feel that light in my chest, I imagined it growing more and more until I could feel the light surrounding myself. It would wash away the darkness in me and the darkness trying to enter myself and helped me feel safe and protected. I didn't know that this was a real technique until I looked up some protection techniques more recently! If I have moved recently...I had to chuckle when you asked that because we are constantly moving it feels like. However, more recently I moved to a new home across town and then went to visit my family for almost two months before coming back home to the new house. My two dream incidents have been one in the old house and one in the new. The old house was a rental and the new house was just built so we are the first residents in it. We don't own a footlocker and I've been trying to think if I have something old that belonged to another person within the past few months. I may have to reflect on it for longer, or perhaps the footlocker is more of a symbolic meaning with our moving? Once again, reflection (unless you have more insight). I do want to say that about 4-5 hours after I posted here and in the newcomer's forum, the feeling of being watched and pressure on my upper back and neck was suddenly lifted. I felt refreshed and free and safe right before going to bed (which I had been dreading in fear of a repeat experience). I do not know if anyone from this forum had a part in that but if you did, I want to thank you. I went to bed peacefully last night.
  6. AuroraLily

    Greetings and Salutations!

    I came back on tonight to peek and I had replies! Yay!!! Before I respond to everyone, I want to say that yesterday before I posted my intro and detailed issue on the dreams forum I was constantly feeling like someone was behind me and a wet blanket was on my upper back and neck. It was uncomfortable and make me nervous and tense. At one point I even turned around and thought at whatever it was to leave me alone in a weak personal moment but it didn't make a difference. About 4-5 hours after I posted here, before I went to bed (which I was dreading for obvious reasons), the pressure behind me disappeared completely and I felt like a weight had been lifted. I don't know if it had to do with reaching out to this forum or if anyone here had anything to do with it. If it was the latter: thank you, I was able to go to bed without fear last night. Xenthian: Like Null, I am going to have to take some time to reflect on what you've said. It is hard to think that my experience was something I needed because a personal boundary was crossed (or was attempted to cross). However, I can already see one positive result for it's occurrence, which is I have found this forum and people who can help me grow and understand what this is. Perhaps this will lead me to do something significant in the future. Who knows? It does feel better to think of it that way than just feeling lost and violated by something I can't talk about to anyone day to day. I can't even tell my husband because I am fairly sure he won't believe me, or doesn't want to believe. I told him about a dream of a man living in the house we had recently moved into, that he was annoyed by us making all the noise and I dreamed that he was peering at us from the doorway of our bedroom, glaring at us in the bed (not in a menacing way, but more of a "Keep it down all ya whipper snappers! You're making too much of a ruckus! <stern glare to make sure you get my meaning>". When I told him this I didn't think it was that concerning, just that it was one of my vivid dreams where I was aware of my surroundings and he cut me off and said that he didn't want to know about stuff like that. It scared him. So I haven't told him anything since. :( Chamuel: Yes! She reacted as if she was surprised that I could see her. I got the impression that she thought I couldn't see her at all so when I woke she just continued to watch. When I started to panic was when she got the look of surprise so I wonder if she had been with me before. I've thought about that moment with the little girl a lot. It was one of my few experiences with seeing/feeling things that were peaceful and loving and good (even though in the moment I acted like a bafoon). I've constantly wondered who or what she was. I have always wondered if she was the soul of one of my daughters. I did become pregnant with my first child less than 6 months after that, and my daughter does have curly, Shirley-temple like ringlets (gets it from her father). Maybe it was her, coming to visit before she was conceived? I can't remember the face of the girl specifically and I wish I knew if it was my daughter, or if it was one of my spirit guides, or if it was a passing entity that decided to take a peek at me. Whoever it was, it was good. That's all I know. It gives me hope to hear that others have found a way to stop things from happening. I have been interested in doing meditations and learning more about the chakra system but to be honest, I've been scared that I'll open myself further to things I don't know how to drown out. So mostly I've been working on being physically and emotionally healthy and happy (which I feel like I am, more so now than I've ever been I'm happy to say). I've done some stretching and deep breathing but stop myself from doing serious meditation from that fear of what it may cause. I plan to do more reading about grounding and personal shielding and I think that will help. At least I hope it will. You all are so wonderful to write to me. I feel much less alone thanks you all of you!
  7. AuroraLily

    Bad lucid / paralysis experiences

    Hello! I just joined today and can already see a post on here with others experiencing something similar to me, which gives me hope for help in my situation. I hope you can help explain what is happening, why it is happening, or how I can help stop or control it? Over my lifespan I have had very vivd dreams and I dealt with the negative or upsetting ones by doing visualization exercises of what I saw to help me feel in control. I would imagine the scary dream, then change the "story" to something pleasant or where I had all the power. Imagine at the end of Disney's Sleeping Beauty, where the fairies are helping Prince Phillip escape Maleficent's castle. They turn the boulders falling on them into bubbles, arrows being shot at them into flowers, and created a protective rainbow over them when hot oil was dropped on them. As silly as it sounds, this is exactly what I did and it worked. I began having confidence in my dreams and when I had something frightening happen while dreaming, I changed the dream while it was happening to something better. It was wonderful because I felt confident and in control where I had felt lost and afraid before. Over the past few years, I have had lucid dreams where I am aware of where I am, what I am doing (which is always lying in bed and doing nothing because I am unable to move). Most of the time I just wait to wake up or play with the dream if I can hold onto it to do something fun (like fly, wheeeee!!!). However, more recently I have had sleep paralysis moments where I am not sure if I am dreaming or if this is actually happening psychically...but there is a very dark presence who does not mean me will in the room with me. The first time I remember it happening I had been doing the visualization techniques and while I knew I was in my bed and my friends were asleep in the living room just outside my door, I could not physically call out to them or run to them. I told the entity that he could not hurt me. He was not welcome here. To GET OUT. Except it didn't work like it did in my dreams (because perhaps it wasn't a dream?). He, in the dream state (not in real life) grabbed my ankles and dragged me into the air, tossing me around the room. When I woke up fully (and ran out of the room finally) I was physically fine. Just shaken from the experience and that I had lost my control in my lucid dreaming (except I still question if this was a lucid dream). In the past couple months, it has happened twice where I am in a sleep paralysis state and not dreaming but there is a presence there who is not welcome and threatening. Last night was the most frightening to me because he was acting very possessive of me and touched my neck in a threatening way. Didn't hurt me in the paralyzed state, but I felt like the touch was a "do what I want or I will hurt you" message to me because while I couldn't talk, I was telling him with every ounce of my essence I did not want him there, did not want him touching me, and was not ok with his intentions. When I woke up fully where I could move I could actually feel the places on my neck where he touched me. You know how when someone touches your skin for a moment and then pulls their hand away, the skin sometimes still feels warm and tingles as if there's a echo of where their hand was? That is exactly what it felt like when I got out of that sleep paralysis. I hope this was not too descriptive or dark but I hope that I can get some guidance on what is happening and how to protect myself and keep myself safe from it. When I fully awoke and realized that this is escalating my first thought was my two young children. What if this happens to them? How do I protect them from it? Thank you all for your help! If you have any questions please feel free and I'll answer them to the best of my ability.
  8. AuroraLily

    Greetings and Salutations!

    Thank you, Moopurple! I just saw the poll on hypnagogia in the meditation board and a discussion on lucid dreaming in the dreams board, so it really seems like I'm in the right place! :D Also, thank you for your comment about the different types of giftedness and being a skeptic. I am glad that I am not the only person skeptic. Perhaps that will change as I learn more about myself and others here.
  9. AuroraLily

    Greetings and Salutations!

    Hello everyone. I am very happy I found this forum. I am hoping to find answers and guidance now that I am here. I need help and I don't know where to go from this point on. I can't say that I am as gifted as some of the people on this board. I would say that I have a strong intuition and every once in a blue moon, what I think others would call "spirit guides" would warn me or give me a message. I have to admit I probably dismissed most of them because I didn't trust the source and assumed it was my mind playing tricks on me. One time, however, I was traveling in my parent's car and I suddenly knew I must tell my father (who was driving) to stop. So I yelled out "STOP!". My father slammed on the brakes and turned around to yell at me for doing that, thinking I was goofing off in the back seat. We were in a busy parking lot and about 3 cars down, where we would be if my father kept going, a car flew by going about 60 through the parking lot slots and cutting lanes. We would have been seriously T-boned. I have seen things, every once in a while, that I can not explain or understand. One that scared me beyond belief in the moment (but looking back I see there was nothing to be scared of, I was just not expecting it or understood it) was when I was in a deep sleep about 5 years ago. I woke from it very suddenly and could see a small face peeking over the edge of the bed. I had bad eyesight then so I assumed it was a pile of laundry on the floor or something else in the distance and my eyes/mind was playing tricks on me. I waited for my eyes to adjust but they didn't. It was just this little face, peering at me from the nose up and her little hands on the edge of the bed. I decided to sit up and the change of viewpoint would help me see what it really was. When I sat up, the face turned upward to follow me. This was when I freaked.out. I started breathing very hard with what I am sure is a panicked look on my face. The little girl stepped back from the bed and I remember her face was suddenly shocked or surprised, as in saying "you can see me?". At this point the level of my freaking out was at my personal max and I, in a fully childish moment, hid my face in my hands. When I finally peered back out from my fingers she was gone. Looking back I feel badly that I reacted that way and that I may have scared whoever or whatever that was. There was no feeling of harm, just curiosity or perhaps watching over me? I'm not sure. I do remember she had her hair in short pigtails with curly ends. But she wasn't solid. She wasn't a color. She wasn't white...I want to say she was transparent but she wasn't. I hope this makes sense to all of you because it makes none to me. I am not going to be going into as much detail with the next part in terms of the rules of the board, but I started having problems with a dark presence or ... I don't know. It seems to bother me the most when I am asleep. These dreams were incredibly vivid and would feel real after I woke up, even though they were definitely a dream. As an adult, I started doing visualization exercises to deal with it while I was sleeping, and it worked so instead of letting the dream control me and feeling powerless I had the tools to stop what was happening, fight back, and not let the "bad" in the dreams harm me or scare me to the point that they did before. However, over the past few years there has been a handful of times that my dreams have turned...lucid? It's hard to explain but I feel that I am back to square one. I am aware that I am lying in bed, that I am or was asleep or that my subconscious is aware of my conscious. Sleep paralysis perhaps? Anyway, in these handful of times I have felt attacked or threatened by a presence and it is very different from being in a dream where I can manipulate my surroundings because I'm not dreaming. I have had this happen twice in the past month and the second time when I woke up fully after the lucid experience, I could still feel the places on my body where whoever it was touched me (which has never happened before). All day today I feel like I have a wet blanket on my back or someone standing behind me. I hate it. So I prayed for help and came to find this forum. I am already feeling less alone (and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying "less crazy"?). In my personal life I have no one to share my fears or have guidance about how to protect myself spiritually (and emotionally/physically) from this. I don't even know what "this" is, other than my intuition is saying to come to people like this community for answers. If you made it to the end of this, you get a gold star and an internet cookie for being so wonderful to read all of this. I hope I wasn't too dark in my descriptions but...I just need help. Thank you so much and I look forward to getting to know you!