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About Circe

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  1. Circe

    Dreaming of Rainbows at Night

    The dark sky symbolizes darkness in your life. Perhaps you feel alone, broken, lost but the rainbow is a reminder that it's not true. There is light and color in the dark, a promise that it'll get better you just have to see it. It's faded in the newer dream because you've forgotten the promise Why it ends at your neighbors house I'm unsure.
  2. Circe

    Long range

    I'm not even sure where to start here. I believe I know what is going on but I'm looking for confirmation from someone less biased. A past boyfriend entered my life the first time at a very difficult time for me emotionally. My dad died when I was younger, I'd recently had an abortion and was basically an emotional mess. We dated for two years. We broke up once for a couple months that all I did was cry. He couldn't handle the separation either so we got back together. When we broke up the second time I literally ran away, several states away because I couldn't handle it and knew it would just get worse if I was physically near him. I also knew that at that time I could not be who he needed me to be so I had to physically leave. That was almost thirty years ago. While we were together one of the things he said repeatedly was his goal was that if the relationship ended I would still be better for it. There was never a time period since then that we haven't talked and there's never been anything we couldn't say to each other although there are a lot of things each of us know we can't say to others or they'll misunderstand or take it wrong - not things about us but about the universe or the way we perceive things or things we wonder about. Sometimes a few years go by but communication has never been shut off and there's never been a time I have not been in love with him. He's always had perfect timing. He knew just how long to let me be angry. Or when life really threw me for a loop when to call or just stop for a visit and we don't live near each other. He's generally not empathetic or like that with anyone else, just me. I have to force myself to walk away from him when I see him in person it's like every ounce of my soul is screaming no stay there, stay with him but there's another part telling me this isn't the right time yet. Generally he's very logical while I'm more emotionally driven. We are both married to other people and wouldn't do anything to endanger the relationships with our spouses. In fact just the thought of him doing something that would cause issues in his marriage sort of makes me panic, even if it would be with me. Recently he reached out and we just talked but it was different. He was more loving than he's been since we broke up (nothing inappropriate for two people married to others) . Here's what I'm thinking is going on. Please tell me if you agree. It's hard having gifts because then you're unsure if you're right or just believing what you want. I think he's my twin flame/soul and in this life plan we knew I'd need him every once in awhile to recharge (I took on a lot this time around) . I also know whether I'd live to see my youngest graduate is iffy. So what I think is going in its one of us is going to pass shortly (most likely me) and in that life plan we both knew we'd need a moment or two right before that happened for whichever one that was left. Not that we won't be able to communicate after but if he's the one left I'm going to have to scream really loudly for him to hear me. So what does everyone think?
  3. Circe

    The Rant Thread!

    I do not want this "gift" any longer. I hate knowing when people I love are going to die. My dad at 32, my cousins (5 years old - 45), and now my brother (at 43). This sucks. I don't want this. I didn't ask for this. I hate knowing. I can't stop it nor can I help. These aren't watch out for the semi going around the curve deaths but the inevitable, unstoppable recall of their mortal bodies. I can't do anything but sit and wait. Wait for my nephews' lives to be in turmoil and my mother to be devastated, again. Wait for my family's lives to be turned upside down, nothing but wait. So how do I return this "gift"?
  4. Circe

    any ideas which type dr to see

    neurologist appointment is tomorrow- takes forever to get into one the first time
  5. Circe

    any ideas which type dr to see

    i just caught the replies- keeping track of time is another issue- hours/days/weeks can go by and I don't realize it - I have to set an alarm on my phone for everything and still can't remember what day of the week it is (Monday, Tuesday, etc). Vit I sent you a pm. I took a recent picture since I tend to avoid the camera and all the ones before were before this got worse. I didn't want a random picture of me floating around on the internet (especially a less than flattering picture). i can email you one though.
  6. This started several years ago but its rapidly progressed in the last six months. It makes it almost impossible to work as my job is primarily intellectual. I've been to my regular doctor a few times and have appointments pending with an opthamologist and neurologist. I'm just going to list the most troubling things There are other weird symptoms like not needing to shave my legs or armpits anymore. I know we're not doctors but I'm hoping that instead of shuffling from specialist to specialist I can get an idea. Mri and blood tests, including A1C have all been normal. So any hints or clues would be very helpful and appreciated. I can't remember things even simple things like I was going to eat supper after I'd already fixed my plate. My brain won't work, I can't perform simple math or write reports Math was always a strength for me and I've had some of my writing published. I say the wrong words. Like "under the sink" instead of in the cupboard. This used to just be verbal but is happening more often now and now also includes written I've been doing things I don't remember at all. I sometimes don't recognize things like landmarks or my favorite store and go right past even when I was looking for them I don't always comprehend what someone says and have to continually rewind the tv because I can't figure out what happened. My vision becomes intermittently blurry for hours at a time so I can't see My hands, fingers, toes, and feet get extremely cold and turn blue. They also go numb for no reason I sweat excessively. If I walk around the block by the time I'm back where I started I look like I took a shower with my clothes on. If I stand for a couple hours my legs swell, turn dark, and there's a vein in my hip that hurts.
  7. Circe

    kitty incarnations

    I had posted in the all about animals forum about the death of my cat last year and looking for her incarnation. I'm certain I've found her, but I thought this may be a good exercise at recognizing animal souls. There are differences between incarnations (genetics, things that happened as a kitten, etc), but its what inside that needs to be recognized. And, please vote how you truly feel. It won't sway my feelings one way or the other and I won't get upset. This is purely for fun. the first picture is the new kitten.
  8. Circe

    where to look kitten

    I just couldn't believe how she just calmly sat in the road, right in front of the car- not moving at all, refusing to move. The entire time i could see that part of the road she just sat there and waited. I live in a very rural area and I've never had an animal do that before, except for maybe a turkey. Hubby said we should name her RB this time (roadblock).
  9. Circe

    where to look kitten

    Found her today. She was sitting in the middle of the road about five miles from home and wouldn't move. Like she was saying ill definitely get your attention this time and make you stop to get me. So I stopped the car and she jumped into my lap. She had some siblings nearby that didn't come up to me. She hugged me then started cleaning me and went to lay on my shoulder the same way as before - rolled over on her back and bared her belly. Then said goodbye to one of her siblings. She sat on my lap and purred all the way home no cat in the car freakout. She's a little black kitten about four months old same white markings as before. I know she doesn't feel real good right now. I think she has a cold, allergies or respiratory something (her nose and eyes are watering) so she's segregated from my other cats tonight until she sees the vet tomorrowi can't wait until she can be out again. Missed her so much and I'm so glad she's back home Disclaimer I do not in any aspect condone kitten napping. It was obvious she hadn't been cared for and was on her own (with her siblings. I saw three others who were yellow, not black). Otherwise I would have attempted to find her current people and explain the situation. I'll still make sure no one else is looking for her current incarnation.
  10. Circe


    You need to follow where you're being led. I keep seeing fate/God/angels trying to point you in a direction you either do not want to go or which you believe isn't possible. Everything will work out as it should
  11. Circe

    Wondering of siblings

    You may not be. They're still young. I believe everyone has these abilities to some extent. Animals have them. They were necessary for our survival as a species. There are also some who are stronger than others. Your siblings are very young yet. They may become stronger as they get older or they just may not know
  12. Circe

    Past Lives

    Most definitely. There are a few I remember bits and pieces of. The ones I've found the most interesting are the ones I've shared with my oldest son who also remembers. We can compare notes which helps validate them. For me anyway. I've noticed what we remember are generally more emotional moments like a fire that burned down our home when we were children. My son remembers our mother who he says was very beautiful dying in the fire. I remember dad wasn't there and my now son was my older sibling who helped me during the fire. Other than the status of our parents during the fire we remember the same home, same landmarks, our approximate ages (he was around 8 and I was about 2), what we were wearing, everything else is the same. I think he just had a stronger bond with our mother than I did so that part of it was more emotional for him. My youngest son for years told everyone his name was Daniel and he knew no one by that name. He insisted he was from another state and told me what things existed in that state. He'd also randomly start singing songs that I recognized as from the 70s (disco yuck) and he'd never heard before. He's older now and he remembers more things which he's checked and found to be true.
  13. Circe

    maybe i have feelings for this guy?

    The simple answer is most likely yes you do. Skin to skin contact causes our bodies to release oxytocin and various endorphins. Depending on an individual's genetic make up, receptors to those hormones, and gender the impact varies. However you indicated that you've had this type of relationship with him for two years so there's going to be some impact. Thats not to say that you wouldn't still have feelings for him. There's a reason you've kept him in your life. If you really want to see what you really feel for him try to lower the hormonal impact possibly through meditation, lowering the physical contact for a while, or grounding yourself
  14. Circe

    Cancer Mom empty nest

    What makes me happy is my kids. Honestly, doing things with them. Everything I've done has involved them. Everything I enjoy is because of them. I like gardening but my kids are the motivation behind it so they could see how fruits/vegetables were grown, avoid pesticides, work with the earth, learn basic genetics (crossbreeding columbines for instance), and just to stop and appreciate what is around them. My son and I joke sometimes that I've spent too many lifetimes as a man so this lifetime I gave myself some extra estrogen and placed cancer very heavily in my chart to balance it out.