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Everything posted by Circe

  1. Circe

    Long range

    I'm not even sure where to start here. I believe I know what is going on but I'm looking for confirmation from someone less biased. A past boyfriend entered my life the first time at a very difficult time for me emotionally. My dad died when I was younger, I'd recently had an abortion and was basically an emotional mess. We dated for two years. We broke up once for a couple months that all I did was cry. He couldn't handle the separation either so we got back together. When we broke up the second time I literally ran away, several states away because I couldn't handle it and knew it would just get worse if I was physically near him. I also knew that at that time I could not be who he needed me to be so I had to physically leave. That was almost thirty years ago. While we were together one of the things he said repeatedly was his goal was that if the relationship ended I would still be better for it. There was never a time period since then that we haven't talked and there's never been anything we couldn't say to each other although there are a lot of things each of us know we can't say to others or they'll misunderstand or take it wrong - not things about us but about the universe or the way we perceive things or things we wonder about. Sometimes a few years go by but communication has never been shut off and there's never been a time I have not been in love with him. He's always had perfect timing. He knew just how long to let me be angry. Or when life really threw me for a loop when to call or just stop for a visit and we don't live near each other. He's generally not empathetic or like that with anyone else, just me. I have to force myself to walk away from him when I see him in person it's like every ounce of my soul is screaming no stay there, stay with him but there's another part telling me this isn't the right time yet. Generally he's very logical while I'm more emotionally driven. We are both married to other people and wouldn't do anything to endanger the relationships with our spouses. In fact just the thought of him doing something that would cause issues in his marriage sort of makes me panic, even if it would be with me. Recently he reached out and we just talked but it was different. He was more loving than he's been since we broke up (nothing inappropriate for two people married to others) . Here's what I'm thinking is going on. Please tell me if you agree. It's hard having gifts because then you're unsure if you're right or just believing what you want. I think he's my twin flame/soul and in this life plan we knew I'd need him every once in awhile to recharge (I took on a lot this time around) . I also know whether I'd live to see my youngest graduate is iffy. So what I think is going in its one of us is going to pass shortly (most likely me) and in that life plan we both knew we'd need a moment or two right before that happened for whichever one that was left. Not that we won't be able to communicate after but if he's the one left I'm going to have to scream really loudly for him to hear me. So what does everyone think?
  2. Circe

    Dreaming of Rainbows at Night

    The dark sky symbolizes darkness in your life. Perhaps you feel alone, broken, lost but the rainbow is a reminder that it's not true. There is light and color in the dark, a promise that it'll get better you just have to see it. It's faded in the newer dream because you've forgotten the promise Why it ends at your neighbors house I'm unsure.
  3. Circe

    The Rant Thread!

    I do not want this "gift" any longer. I hate knowing when people I love are going to die. My dad at 32, my cousins (5 years old - 45), and now my brother (at 43). This sucks. I don't want this. I didn't ask for this. I hate knowing. I can't stop it nor can I help. These aren't watch out for the semi going around the curve deaths but the inevitable, unstoppable recall of their mortal bodies. I can't do anything but sit and wait. Wait for my nephews' lives to be in turmoil and my mother to be devastated, again. Wait for my family's lives to be turned upside down, nothing but wait. So how do I return this "gift"?
  4. This started several years ago but its rapidly progressed in the last six months. It makes it almost impossible to work as my job is primarily intellectual. I've been to my regular doctor a few times and have appointments pending with an opthamologist and neurologist. I'm just going to list the most troubling things There are other weird symptoms like not needing to shave my legs or armpits anymore. I know we're not doctors but I'm hoping that instead of shuffling from specialist to specialist I can get an idea. Mri and blood tests, including A1C have all been normal. So any hints or clues would be very helpful and appreciated. I can't remember things even simple things like I was going to eat supper after I'd already fixed my plate. My brain won't work, I can't perform simple math or write reports Math was always a strength for me and I've had some of my writing published. I say the wrong words. Like "under the sink" instead of in the cupboard. This used to just be verbal but is happening more often now and now also includes written I've been doing things I don't remember at all. I sometimes don't recognize things like landmarks or my favorite store and go right past even when I was looking for them I don't always comprehend what someone says and have to continually rewind the tv because I can't figure out what happened. My vision becomes intermittently blurry for hours at a time so I can't see My hands, fingers, toes, and feet get extremely cold and turn blue. They also go numb for no reason I sweat excessively. If I walk around the block by the time I'm back where I started I look like I took a shower with my clothes on. If I stand for a couple hours my legs swell, turn dark, and there's a vein in my hip that hurts.
  5. Circe

    any ideas which type dr to see

    neurologist appointment is tomorrow- takes forever to get into one the first time
  6. Circe

    any ideas which type dr to see

    i just caught the replies- keeping track of time is another issue- hours/days/weeks can go by and I don't realize it - I have to set an alarm on my phone for everything and still can't remember what day of the week it is (Monday, Tuesday, etc). Vit I sent you a pm. I took a recent picture since I tend to avoid the camera and all the ones before were before this got worse. I didn't want a random picture of me floating around on the internet (especially a less than flattering picture). i can email you one though.
  7. Circe

    kitty incarnations

    I had posted in the all about animals forum about the death of my cat last year and looking for her incarnation. I'm certain I've found her, but I thought this may be a good exercise at recognizing animal souls. There are differences between incarnations (genetics, things that happened as a kitten, etc), but its what inside that needs to be recognized. And, please vote how you truly feel. It won't sway my feelings one way or the other and I won't get upset. This is purely for fun. the first picture is the new kitten.
  8. Circe

    where to look kitten

    I just couldn't believe how she just calmly sat in the road, right in front of the car- not moving at all, refusing to move. The entire time i could see that part of the road she just sat there and waited. I live in a very rural area and I've never had an animal do that before, except for maybe a turkey. Hubby said we should name her RB this time (roadblock).
  9. Circe

    where to look kitten

    My cat recently died. She was a reincarnation of a previous cat I'd had. She was more than a pet or soul mate. She was actually part of me. The first time she came to me, my then husband found her and her brother alongside a road in a box in almost 100 degree temperatures, just left there. She was a black tuxedo cat. As a kitten she was all tail and ears. Until my oldest was born, she sucked her thumb (front right paw top pad). After my oldest was born, she did it once then quit. She was very intelligent, played fetch, watched over my children, and tattled on them. when my oldest would quit breathing, she would come get me. when they were naughty, she'd come get me. When we were outside she stayed with us and didn't run off to explore. One time she caught a rabbit and my kids were quite upset. They told her to go in the house in time out. She put down the rabbit, opened the screen door (it wasn't latched all the way), went to the time out corner, and sat there until the buzzer rang. The only times she really went outside were either with us or to chase some cat our of her yard, no matter how big or small her yard was, no other cats were allowed. She'd run out, beat them up, then run back in. She was declawed but she'd still win, every time. When she was older she was heavier than she should've been. close to the date of her death plus gestational period, my then ex-husband's (same guy)cat had kittens. One was a little girl who was black with white markings. From the time she was born, I tried to get him to let me have her. He said she already had a home. However, after a few months, for whatever reason, he sent her home with us. She wasn't quite as intelligent this time around, but she didn't need to be. The children were older and she didn't need to watch over them so closely. She still had a thing about any cat being in her yard and you could hear her whapping them with her paws until they left. She hit hard and was able to chase big toms with claws away. I told my husband (current) that if he ever beleived I wasn't ok when I said I was to watch my cat. She was pretty much a mirror of me. She always stayed about the right weight and died recently from breast cancer. I know that its rare that they come back so quickly, but I can actually feel that she is back somewhere, about a month old. I just don't know where. One of my other cats has been going nuts looking for her the last week. The other cat has maybe meowed 20 times in its life but has been calling up a storm the last week or so trying to find her. I don't think she'd come back through my ex-husband this time- he lives a number of hours away from us. I think she may come as a stray since there are so many strays near my house. I am a little worried in finding her. If she's a stray, it's February (cold) and I don't want a car, dog, coyote, or something else to get her before she gets back home. So here's my question- anyone have any idea where to look for her this time? The other two times, she came to me and I know she would eventually this time too. I just don't want her to get hurt in the process. I'm going to attach a picture of both her incarnations.
  10. Circe

    where to look kitten

    Found her today. She was sitting in the middle of the road about five miles from home and wouldn't move. Like she was saying ill definitely get your attention this time and make you stop to get me. So I stopped the car and she jumped into my lap. She had some siblings nearby that didn't come up to me. She hugged me then started cleaning me and went to lay on my shoulder the same way as before - rolled over on her back and bared her belly. Then said goodbye to one of her siblings. She sat on my lap and purred all the way home no cat in the car freakout. She's a little black kitten about four months old same white markings as before. I know she doesn't feel real good right now. I think she has a cold, allergies or respiratory something (her nose and eyes are watering) so she's segregated from my other cats tonight until she sees the vet tomorrowi can't wait until she can be out again. Missed her so much and I'm so glad she's back home Disclaimer I do not in any aspect condone kitten napping. It was obvious she hadn't been cared for and was on her own (with her siblings. I saw three others who were yellow, not black). Otherwise I would have attempted to find her current people and explain the situation. I'll still make sure no one else is looking for her current incarnation.
  11. Circe


    I was hoping someone could teach me how to block. I've tried the white light or bubble which hasn't helped as far as empath abilities. My empath abilities are hereditary and strong. So much so that I have several relatives who have turned to alcohol or other means to numb it or tune it out because it's too much. They've all told me that they sometimes use that for this specific reason, but they haven't told each other because they're afraid to let other people know. I can pick up on emotions or physical pain that sometimes I have no idea where it comes from. A couple years ago one of my daughters (not biological) was pregnant, but didn't know. I had morning sickness, that increased sense of smell, and every first trimester symptom you can think of. I was fairly sure she was the one who was pregnant, but she denied it so I asked all my other daughters (bio and non) but none of them were pregnant. The one who was pregnant didn't learn about her pregnancy until she was about 5 months pregnant. I had more first trimester symptoms than she did (and no not possible for me to be pregnant, hysterectomy). I pick up emotions from almost everyone around me whether they are physically, emotionally, or spiritually close which sometimes can be overwhelming and/or contradicatory (for instance if two are fighting, I get the anger, guilt, sadness and every other emotion the two are feeling). It can also be quite painful if someone has been injured or is very sick. If my adult children have a friend who is extremely depressed, happy, scared, whatever I feel it. I can sometimes take some pain from others if I absorb it myself; however, just because I feel it doesn't mean I've lessened the other person's load. There's a different "place" I have to tap into to do that than just the empath part. But absorbing so much feeling from everyone gets to be overwhelming at times- kind of like someone who is autistic standing in the middle of Los Vegas or Times Square I would guess. There's just too much coming from everywhere which is part of why I've always tried to live in a small town - less emotional noise. If there is something that is stirring a large number of people I will feel that too regardless of how close or far they are (mass deaths, mass fear such as mayan calendar, mass worry housing market crash, tsunami, volcanoes, etc). So any ideas on how I can block some of this out or channel it so I know where/who its coming from?
  12. Circe


    You need to follow where you're being led. I keep seeing fate/God/angels trying to point you in a direction you either do not want to go or which you believe isn't possible. Everything will work out as it should
  13. Circe

    Wondering of siblings

    You may not be. They're still young. I believe everyone has these abilities to some extent. Animals have them. They were necessary for our survival as a species. There are also some who are stronger than others. Your siblings are very young yet. They may become stronger as they get older or they just may not know
  14. Circe

    Past Lives

    Most definitely. There are a few I remember bits and pieces of. The ones I've found the most interesting are the ones I've shared with my oldest son who also remembers. We can compare notes which helps validate them. For me anyway. I've noticed what we remember are generally more emotional moments like a fire that burned down our home when we were children. My son remembers our mother who he says was very beautiful dying in the fire. I remember dad wasn't there and my now son was my older sibling who helped me during the fire. Other than the status of our parents during the fire we remember the same home, same landmarks, our approximate ages (he was around 8 and I was about 2), what we were wearing, everything else is the same. I think he just had a stronger bond with our mother than I did so that part of it was more emotional for him. My youngest son for years told everyone his name was Daniel and he knew no one by that name. He insisted he was from another state and told me what things existed in that state. He'd also randomly start singing songs that I recognized as from the 70s (disco yuck) and he'd never heard before. He's older now and he remembers more things which he's checked and found to be true.
  15. Circe

    maybe i have feelings for this guy?

    The simple answer is most likely yes you do. Skin to skin contact causes our bodies to release oxytocin and various endorphins. Depending on an individual's genetic make up, receptors to those hormones, and gender the impact varies. However you indicated that you've had this type of relationship with him for two years so there's going to be some impact. Thats not to say that you wouldn't still have feelings for him. There's a reason you've kept him in your life. If you really want to see what you really feel for him try to lower the hormonal impact possibly through meditation, lowering the physical contact for a while, or grounding yourself
  16. Circe

    Cancer Mom empty nest

    What makes me happy is my kids. Honestly, doing things with them. Everything I've done has involved them. Everything I enjoy is because of them. I like gardening but my kids are the motivation behind it so they could see how fruits/vegetables were grown, avoid pesticides, work with the earth, learn basic genetics (crossbreeding columbines for instance), and just to stop and appreciate what is around them. My son and I joke sometimes that I've spent too many lifetimes as a man so this lifetime I gave myself some extra estrogen and placed cancer very heavily in my chart to balance it out.
  17. Circe

    Cancer Mom empty nest

    Any ideas on for a cancer mom to deal with empty nest? I have a really hard time dealing when my kids aren't around and I haven't figured out how to make them 3 years old again :) Sun Cancer 13°16'12 in house 4 direct Moon Scorpio 5°48'20 in house 7 direct Mercury Gemini 24°16'23 in house 3 direct Venus Cancer 17°21'04 in house 4 direct Mars Cancer 9°23'08 end of house 3 direct Jupiter Virgo 3°05'41 end of house 5 direct Saturn Aries 24°38'19 in house 1 direct Uranus Virgo 25°33'28 in house 6 direct Neptune Scorpio 24°00'16 in house 7 retrograde Pluto Virgo 20°29'33 in house 6 direct True Node Aries 14°19'02 in house 12 retrograde Ascendant Aries 22°32'12 2nd House Taurus 27°52'57 3rd House Gemini 21°10'55 Imum Coeli Cancer 11°29'02 5th House Leo 3°44'36 6th House Virgo 4°16'11 Descendant Libra 22°32'12 8th House Scorpio 27°52'57 9th House Sagittarius 21°10'55 Medium Coeli Capricorn 11°29'02 11th House Aquarius 3°44'36 12th House Pisces 4°16'11 my chart.pdf
  18. Circe

    had an odd dream

    You are craving knowledge (the course, half full glasses, children getting onto a school bus) but feel as if you can't right now (money). You need to slow down and absorb the knowledge that you're craving (the teacher stopped you). As for the guy on the harley- I'm not real sure- my gut says he's the embodiment that you've given yourself without knowledge- that it would be easier to go along the course you're on without stopping for the teacher (he's on a motorcycle and you're on a bike) but that may not be the best course (he'd been drinking)- the cameras may mean that the knowledge you're craving is all around you, you just need to stop and see it from a different lens/angle
  19. Circe

    It hurts

    You do need to learn to take care of you and ask for help when you need to. As far as the emotional, I'm wondering about your relationship with your parents, especially your mother. Is there something there that you need to confront or let go?
  20. I love communicating with trees (rocks too). It's actually the best way I have of grounding myself (go sit in the middle of the woods). The average tree lives much longer than we do. I've also noticed that some are very protective, mostly of children and the animals that call that tree home. They bring an entirely new perspective to the world. They've seen so much and felt so much over the years it's amazing.
  21. Circe

    Soul Mate Split

    I believe we have several soul mates- souls we've traveled with for many life times who we are drawn to in this lifetime. I think we also make "deals" before we're born. Each soul has lessons they're to learn in this lifetime. Other souls agree to help them with different aspects of life lessons and around we go. For instance, let's say I bargain with soul abc to help give them strength through an abusive childhood- soul abc may have bargained with me to help me learn balance. We all work together. The fact that she keeps coming back into your life tells me that yes there is a connection there, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're to be romantically involved in this lifetime. For instance, I have a very strong connection with my ex-husband, but he's an ex for a reason. As friends, we're great and I'm not sure there is anybody who understands me as well as he. While I do think we're meant to stay in each other's lives throughout our lifetimes, we're not meant to be romantically involved. As others have said, it may very well be that she is a soul mate, but there may be a life lesson she is to teach you and/or you her that doesn't involve being romantically linked. Instead of severing ties completely, is there a way in which you can learn to accept her for who she is without anger or frustration?
  22. Circe

    psychic...psycosis story

    I can relate. Every once in awhile I have to check what I'm told just to validate that I'm not nuts. So far, haven't been wrong once so I'm going with the I'm sane for the moment theory ;)
  23. Circe


    Exactly, what we think of as abundance isn't necessarily what the universe thinks of as abundance. Plus there's balance. I've found I have better results when its something I truly need (for example winning $40 on a lottery ticket which just happens to be the exact amount I need to replace a car tire that went flat 20 minutes after winning the $40)- when I ask I also preface it with something along the lines of not taking what belongs to or is meant for someone else.
  24. Circe

    Mom's earring

    Ive been watching to see where it turns up to see if I was right instead of posting, but I see it as between cracks in wood - that it kind of fell in there and lodged - whether that's a wooden floor, dresser, bed, wall trim, i'm not sure. You'll need to actually look in the crack to find it.