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ElyriaCrowley

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About ElyriaCrowley

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 08/29/1988

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Virginia, USA
  • Interests
    Reading, writing, drawing, and being outdoors.
  1. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    At some point in your life, you'll meet someone who will change everything for you. They'll make you look at things completely differently and see life in a different light. Suddenly your job isn't good enough -- you have so much more potential. Your free time is being wasted -- there's so much more you could be doing. Your goals are too low -- reach for the sky. You don't want to change for this person. But something about them makes you want to be the best you you absolutely can be. I had the pleasure of finding this person. He's completely turned my life upside down. I thought I knew where I wanted to go in life. I thought I knew my goals, my ambitions, my dreams. But since I met him, everything seems so shallow now. I can be doing so much more with myself and my life. With him around, I feel like I'm standing in an open doorway, with my old life behind me and my new life ahead of me. Like everything is about to change for me. All I have to do is step forward and close the door behind me. But we're drifting apart. And the further he goes, the further I move out of that doorway and back to my old life. And now there's a new man in my life. And he doesn't stir anything inside me like the other does. With Lamm, I feel like I'm fine where I am. There's nothing wrong with my life. I could do this forever. And that makes me really sad. Because I know what this other man does for me. I know what I'm capable of seeing. And yet without him around, I can't see it. The doorway eases closed. The vision behind it fades. And nothing I do can keep it open. It's as if this man is the key to the rest of my life. Without him, I'm missing out. I guess I need to figure out a way to keep it open without him.
  2. ElyriaCrowley

    I'm offering again.

    Hmm... I see a clear quartz crystal. It's an average size, a little larger than my thumb. It's not a perfect sphere. It's rounded, but it's fatter on one side than the other. It's resting on a wooden table with a white and blue cloth over it. I can see the colors through the stone. The table is in a hallway of sorts, up against a cream colored wall, with a mirror with gold trim hanging above the table. There's a dark wooden bookcase nearby that perfectly matches the wooden trim of the baseboards, floor, and archway in the background. There is a set of dark wooden stairs to the left, leading up. I can see a room past the archway, but I can't make out whether it's a living room or dining room. The walls are the same cream. There's a cherio cabinet in the corner with glass doors, made of the same dark chocolate wood as everything else. Next to that is a large window with soft white sheer curtains covering it. I see the edge of a table, again dark wood, with a lamp on it, a soft golden light radiating but barely lighting up the room. Maybe I should mention that the scene is dark, as if the sun is just beginning to set, but it's a cozy kings of dark. Very homey feeling.
  3. ElyriaCrowley

    I'm offering again.

    I am also curious! A general reading for me too please. :)
  4. ElyriaCrowley

    Anyone know tarot?

    Yeah, this is pretty much spot on with David... He had cold feet from the beginning, so I expected it wouldn't last long. Except he's the father (no real father figure in his life), so I think he's trying to look out for his daughter. I was afraid the Lovers card was soulmate related... I suspected very much that this was the case. Little things. Similar in important areas, different in areas that I could use improvement. A psychic connection. Very easy conversation. He feels very familiar to me. And my hands went numb the first time we met... Ahh, well... Sometimes things just don't work out.
  5. ElyriaCrowley

    Anyone know tarot?

    Thanks Nigel!
  6. ElyriaCrowley

    Anyone know tarot?

    Great! Thanks everyone! Long story short, I met someone recently, and it didn't last long. It wasn't serious, and we are very different people. But for some reason, I feel like the readings I've done for him (that he requested) and me and him (simply out of curiosity) are pointing towards... well, something. As if our relationship isn't over. I'll share a couple of the most strange readings I've done, and see what y'all think. I used a traditional Rider Weight deck for all of the following readings, and I found all of the spreads online. When he and I first started talking, he asked me to do a reading for him. He wanted to know about his love life, so I did a spread about his next love interest. .....1..... 2..3..4..5 6..7..8..9 .10....11. ....12.... 1. New love interest: Hermit 2. Her vocation: Six of Pents 3. Her best characteristics: Eight of Pents 4. Her Flaws: Two of Swords 5. Her physical appearance: Six of Swords 6. Her first impression of him: The Star 7. His first impression of her: The Emperor 8. Her emotional connection to him: Six of Cups 9. His emotional connection to her: Magician 10. Strengths of their relationship: The World 11. Weaknesses of their relationship: The Tower 12. Long-term outlook: Ace of Pentacles What struck me as odd about this reading is that six out of the twelve cards are Majors. I also pulled three sixes. I feel like this spread is about me, just based on the ones I've performed since, but.. Obviously, I can't be sure. --------------------------------------------------------------------- This next one was performed at the beginning of the end. He was acting strangely, and I could tell something was coming. 1..5..2 3..6..4 .7...8. ...9... 1. What I want from him: Page of Cups 2. What he wants from me: The Fool 3. How I feel about him: Six of Wands 4. How he feels about me: Knight of Pentacles 5. Our strengths as a couple: King of Pentacles 6. Our weaknesses as a couple: Hierophant 7. Advice for me moving forward: Three of Pentacles 8. Advice for him moving forward: Six of Cups 9. Commitment and long-term: The Wheel This one only had three out of nine Majors -- but there are also three Courts. And then the Wheel as the final... I just don't know. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Last one, I promise! This one was done after things were already over. ...1...2... .3...5...4. ...6...7... 1. Me: Five of Pentacles 2. Him: Hermit 3. Present conditions: Lovers 4. What's coming: Knight of Wands 5. Heart of the matter: Wheel of Fortune 6. Short-term future outlook: Temperance 7. Long-term future outlook: Four of Wands Again, four out of seven cards are Majors. And this wasn't the first time I pulled the Four of Wands as our future together. But what I found most odd was the Lovers card. We were very much at odds when this reading was performed. Barely talking, even as friends. Almost arguing even... I know that sometimes the Lovers can indicate a love triangle, but I wasn't talking to anyone else at the time, and I'm confident he wasn't either. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I really should stop trying to read tarot... More often than not, I think I understand what it's saying, only to discover I'm completely wrong. I don't need you to go through each card one by one if it's too much. But if you could just provide a general insight into them, I'd greatly appreciate it. I feel like these readings are trying to tell me something important... They're so different than what I normally receive. I just can't figure out the message. Thanks again! (And sorry there's so much! :()
  7. ElyriaCrowley

    Anyone know tarot?

    Yo! Been a little while! Wanted to check in and see if anyone here still reads tarot? Better than I do anyway... I've done a few readings that are pretty confusing, and I'd love to discuss them with someone. Thanks!
  8. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I've given him literally everything I have. And I've received nothing in return. I have nothing left to give. Nothing left. I've become some lost puppy following him around, nipping at his ankles for a scrap of meat. And when he throws me a bone, I think it's the best prime rib he could've ever offered. Nevermind the fact that there's no meat on the bone. Nevermind the fact that it provides no nourishment. He gave me something. And something is better than nothing. But I can't do it anymore. I've run out of energy. I've run out of love to give. I'm done. And it hurts a little. A lot, actually. Because despite the fact that he treated me like crap, I still care about him so much. He's still my best friend in Richmond. And I'm never going to see him again. But maybe I can start to heal now. Maybe without all the constant rejection, I'll remember my worth. Maybe I won't cry myself to sleep anymore. Or maybe I'll just miss him every day... Only time will tell, right?
  9. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    He ended up coming over. I did use that opportunity to essentially say goodbye. I didn't think I'd see him again, because it would be too painful. I care about him so deeply, and I couldn't be with him without being "with" him. I told him we could only be friends. But that didn't last long. I got the impression that he didn't want that. That he wanted more from me. And I wanted more from him. So if he was going to be in open relationship with his girlfriend, then I was going to date other people too. Maybe that way I could still be with him without getting attached. I didn't see him for like a week. He was being very distant with me, and I couldn't understand why. I started to give up on him. But then something changed. He came back to me. He's stayed the night with me three out of the last four nights. And last night, he opened up to me for the first time. It started with a text message I had received from another guy. Allen knows I'm talking to other people. He always jokes with me about it, but I can sense a little pain beneath the jokes. Still, he can't have two women and expect more to have one man. So I told him that last night when he saw the text. And that broke a dam in him. He started talking. First, it was about how he doesn't want to let go of his ex because it's comfortable and he still loves her. But he doesn't want to let go of me either. Said he really liked me (first time he's ever said that in a month), and he tends to push people that care about him away so he doesn't get hurt. I knew all this about him. He didn't have to tell me. But it was nice to hear it because I was starting to feel like I was making it up. Wishful thinking. "Oh, he cares more than he says" just to excuse why I keep him around. That talk lasted for two hours. Morphed into how he thinks he's a terrible person. He even started crying. I didn't say anything the whole time except to tell him he wasn't terrible and that I'd care if he died. He seemed to need to let it out, whatever was on his mind, and I didn't want to distract him. Just let him talk. It was so nice getting inside his head. It was so reassuring to have my instincts about him validated. But I was worried all of that would go away today, after the fog of liquor had disappeared. I was afraid he'd go back to being distant and start pushing me away again. But fortunately, that hasn't happened yet. He's actually talking to me more today then he has in weeks. And it's bittersweet. Because I care about him so much, but I know we're not going to last. Our relationship is only going to end in heartache for me. But I think I'm okay with that. He may not be my forever person.. But does that mean I can't still enjoy him while I have him? Of course not. So I'm going to stick around. Hopefully teach him a few things. Then let him go when the time comes. Because what other choice do I have? He's a part of me now.
  10. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    Allen might be getting back with his ex. Just as I thought. He might come over tonight. If he does, I'm going to use this opportunity to say goodbye. One last night together. I'll try to make it the best one yet.
  11. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    It's so easy to break my heart. Edit: And yet Sean is always there for me to help pick up the pieces and remind me of who I am. I am not weak. I am not broken. I am strong and confident and need to stop letting other people determine my happiness. I've been meek with Allen. Quiet and not at all myself because I didn't want to scare him away. But if being who I am is too much for him to handle, then he isn't the kind of person I want in my life, is he? So I need to be myself. Be strong and confident and vocal. The person I am with Sean. The person he helps me to be. Sean is definitely my twin.. And I'm so mad that I'm the runner. But if it's meant to be, it will be, right? It's just not meant to be right now.
  12. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    Me and Allen are having a lot of fun. Got coffee at the bookstore on Wednesday. Had drinks at the bar on Friday. Went to dinner on Saturday. Ice cream and errands last night. Stopping by his job when I get off work. It's been really nice having someone to do things with for once. And I'm really starting to like him. He's so stinking adorable. I just like looking at him. Seeing him smile. It lights up his whole face. I want to keep him. But part of me knows that I can't. I think I'm here as a lesson for him. He's just getting out of a relationship, and I think me being around is going to bring him clarity. Whether it's to get back with his ex or move on to better things, I don't know. But I feel that's my purpose right now. To help him through this. Neither of us are looking for anything serious right now. But I honestly don't think I'd be opposed to being exclusive if he asked. Not attached, but not seeing other people either. I mean, that's how we are now.. But.. I dunno. I enjoy him. And it'd be nice if I got to hold on to him for a while, because I'm not ready to let go yet.
  13. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    I can't tell the difference between gut instinct and anxiety anymore. Between "something's wrong" and "I'm afraid something's wrong." Between truth and make believe. All I know is that it hurts.
  14. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    I joined a couple dating sites over the last couple weeks. Started seeing a guy named Allen. We've been having a lot of fun so far, but something about him is nagging at me. He seems so familiar to me somehow. Something about the way he talks, the way he moves. It's like I've met someone like him before, but I just can't place him. Even his name seems familiar to me. Like last night, we went out to the bar and decided to take an Uber so we could drink and not worry about driving. Both times we got picked up, the driver called him Chris instead of Allen. It barely even registered with me that that wasn't the name he introduced himself as, because it just felt.. well, normal. It wasn't until the second driver called him Chris that he explained that his name is Christopher Allen (last name), and he goes by his middle name. And ever since then, the familiarity has gotten stronger. I know someone named Christopher Allen... And yet I don't. I only know one Chris and his middle name is not Allen. So why does his name seem so familiar? Why do I feel like I know him? I've also been planning on moving to Illinois next month.. But now I'm starting to question whether or not I should do that. I never got to experience Richmond. My ex was such a homebody that we never did anything. And now I'm experiencing it. And I could experience it more if I stayed. Yet it comes with so many issues.. Housing, first and foremost. I can't continue to live with my ex. I'd need to find somewhere else. But I don't know anyone to room with. And I can't afford to live by myself. So I'd have to live with a stranger. I mean, yeah, it's scary... But it's not permanent, right? I could try it, and if I didn't like it, then I could leave. I could move back to Illinois, no harm done. Still... I only have a couple days left to decide. I need to tell my boss before she fills my position. Ugh... I need help.
  15. ElyriaCrowley

    A Different Time, A Different Place

    Thank you. :wub: I told him the truth today. And while he said he understands where I'm coming from, he also said he didn't know if he could wait for me to be ready. And now things are really strange between us. But the weird thing is, I'm not that upset. I really do care about him, but I've always known he wasn't my forever person. I knew he was here for a reason and when he fulfilled that, he'd be gone. I expected him to be around a little longer than this, but.. Who knows? Maybe we can stay friends.
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