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merlin

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About merlin

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 07/04/1961

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    Photography
    Camping
    Sailing
  1. merlin

    $100

    Be careful. It might be a scam rather than a real check. Look at the back for "By depositing this check, you agree to......."
  2. merlin

    Has someone done black magic on me?

    Some things are random chance, some we create ourselves. While there are malicious people in the world, it is doubtful that one anonymous person has decided to make you miserable. More likely that this is just about the survival game that we all face. Instead of worrying about magic and curses face the world as best you can.
  3. merlin

    The Shadow

    Actually look to your own life, your fears, anger, conflicts, and unresolved problems.
  4. merlin

    I would like help.

    You need to center yourself to here and now. Not past, future, imagination or other realms. Let go of the fear, and don't chase the spirit. Just watch it fade away.
  5. merlin

    Forced to realize.

    There can be as much fantasy as there is reality, you need to learn to tell the difference. There are things that feed on fear, you need to learn not to be afraid, but also when it is wise to leave something alone. Helping others is great, but don't sacrifice yourself doing it. What you reveal to others can have consequences. You need to learn to keep others emotions out as well as letting them in.
  6. merlin

    Red panda and iguana

    At first I was going to say a panda's tail is too short, but then I looked up the red panda, which I didn't know existed.
  7. merlin

    Angels & Demons

    Let go of fear, it makes the situation worse
  8. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    It is hard to know what to do. Myself, it is hard for me to let the bad guy win. That can be seen as a strength, I guess. Generally it is a trait that has not been good for me, since the rest of the world seldom rallies to my cause. I would not presume to tell you the right thing to do, but I would offer a perspective to consider. I was married to someone who took advantage of me. What I saw was an image from High School, and I failed to see the real person. There were warning signs from the beginning, which I ignored. There were people who tried to tell me, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I compromised until I didn't know who I was anymore. Even reasonably obvious things, still were missing absolute proof. I was not listening, and didn't want to believe. I understand denial. In the aftermath, people came forward to tell me additional things. Alcoholism, lying, stealing, spending, and cheating. Some of it I think they had not told me before because they sensed I didn't want to hear, some of it because they didn't want the responsibility of messing with a relationship. I really can't fault them, not listening was my fault, but I probably would have been better off if I knew everything. I think I wish that they had been more insistent. My perspective is obviously colored, so it is up to you to decide it's value.
  9. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    Since there is a large group of people concerned, what about chipping in on a private detective?
  10. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    In nature, relationships are symbiotic, parasitic or predatory. Two out of the three are not good for both parties and you usually can't expect a change in the basic behavior. People are capable all three, but also find it difficult to change. They tend to justify their behavior rather than change it, including those that are host or prey. There are reasons to defend, and reasons to remove people from your life. You can hope for the best, realistically if someone is going to straighten themselves out, they need to make that decision. That doesn't mean that a dishonest or hostile person needs to be tolerated. Second chances are often what they prey on.
  11. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    "Last chance" would probably be the thing to look at, it is for me. It was not a matter of thinking I don't deserve better. Initially it was supporting a decision that was already made. Wanting to believe the person was more than they were. Fear of making a decision that would disrupt everything in my life. Dating anymore involves a lot of rejections, people trying to get what they want, lying, and rudeness. Many people are so lonely that if they have one person that shows them attention, they want that to be it, and not have to go back out there again. It is hard to make the decision that your better off without the person, when there is a question as to if there will ever be anyone else. Of course everyone tells you there will be, but at 55, the choices narrow.
  12. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    I hesitate to draw conclusions from one side of a story, or to take actions that could have a large impact on someone's life without knowing all the facts and consequences. It does however remind me of my experience with my ex, and others. She would tell me she wasn't smoking, but when I showed her the cigarette butts all over the ground, she would say they were old. When I told her I had swept up the old ones, then it was someone who visited. When confronted with the bottle of alcohol hidden in the cat litter, she blamed our son, who doesn't drink, and actually may be allergic to alcohol. I had an employee once take several salvaged computers, and he denied it up to the point I showed him the video of him removing them from the office. The sad part on that one is that we would have given him a couple computers if he had asked. Someone who lies will go to any length to support the lie. Here is the one to tell on myself though. I had plenty of questionable circumstances with my ex, smoking, drinking, stealing, and cheating. I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt, taking her word over others, and taking apologies. When someone has convince themselves that they have someone worthy, it is hard to get them to look at the reality. It is hard to make a decision that will disrupt your life. You try to support your earlier decisions, and try to see what you thought the person was, despite the mounting evidence to the contrary.
  13. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    I have worked in hospitals and other secure facilities many times, and never had them deny a person's existence. Generally the procedure is to ask your name, then pick up the phone and call the person. If you go to a supervisor at the facility and tell them you are concerned about someone claiming to be an employee, they may take an interest and pull the records. It is not uncommon to get employment confirmations, creditors and landlords do it all the time. You usually can't get much more than "Yes that person works here", but then that is all you are after. Take the photos with you, tell them you are concerned about fraud since you can't get a confirmation that he works there and may be going to the police. He also should have uniforms and ID badge at home. A logistical point about the story. How do they know who is on the approved list unless they pull up his record? For the GPS, it doesn't matter if you sister drives the car, the data you need is where he drives it. If you find that it never goes to the hospital, then that is a piece of evidence. If you find it goes somewhere he should not be, then that is evidence. Learn his schedule, see where he goes and who he is with. The story you have framed seems pretty clear, if you have not biased it. It also seems clear that your sister is not going to accept anything but hard evidence, not suspicions or circumstantial evidence. I would advise you to be sure of what you are doing since it will backfire if you are wrong.
  14. merlin

    Con-man or genuine article?

    Put a GPS tracker on the car. You will be able to see where he goes and when. It will settle the work issue, and you may catch him seeing another woman.
  15. merlin

    Strange feeling?

    Is your beer missing?:)
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