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strong gut feelings - run or watch, wait and see?

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How can you listen to your gut instinct when there doesn’t appear to be a logical reason (yet)?

 

I’m in a frustrating situation where a guy is keen on me, he is good looking, intelligent, funny, wants to settle down /happy to have kids within the next year etc. He’s everything on ‘the list’.

 

But I have constantly felt a very strong barrier that I can’t get past. I just don’t want him anywhere near me, I dread him touching me, hate him kissing me, I almost feel sick and repulsed, repelled. I feel anxious at the thought of committing to this guy and I don’t know why because he is so nice.

 

He has had a few stories about stupid clumsy things he has done over the years – I am wondering if I didn’t know about the silly incidences if I would still feel this way. Also maybe my resistance is due to the fact that he was coming on so strong when I was just in the midst of things unravelling with the guy I really wanted so I'm just not ready.

 

So do I listen to my gut instinct or wait and see how it goes?

 

I’ve been honest about all of this to him and he said well, think about all the times it has felt right or great with other guys – and look how that turned out! HORRIBLY!

 

True.

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Maybe you two are just meant to be friends...is it because you still want the other guy?

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Do... NOT... commit to someone just because he's everything on your "list." That's the quickest way to end up unhappy. If you aren't interested, you aren't interested, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. Period.

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I definitely don't want the other guy since I have seen he has no problem lying about who he is really spending time with (his ex gf). I was more shocked and hurt. So it’s hard to feel something for a "new person" when you are in the middle of dealing with ‘grief’. I don't have the same amazing instant connection with this one that I had with the last one.

 

I think all I can do right now is keep my options open but see how it goes with this guy. He is very very slowly growing on me and wants to give me everything I want. If it doesn’t improve in the next few weeks well at least I know I gave it a chance.

 

I'd just hate to finally 'fall' for this guy and realise my initial horrible gut instinct was totally bang on for some weird reason that may come up later on!

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So he's everything on your last, but it seems the most important thing is lacking- chemistry... and if your gut instinct is telling you something isn't right then there probably isnt' something quite right... maybe he's not being totally honest about something

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LISTEN to your gut! Your eyes, and therefore your mind, do not see all. Your gut feeling comes from a higher source.

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I agree. Listen to your gut. Take a break from it all if you cannot make decisions which make you completely content.

 

Thanks all. It is very frustrating not knowing *why* I have this strong gut feeling. Yes maybe it's just a chemistry issue - which is annoying because he is happy to give me everything I want. I could FINALLY 'get on with life' if I liked this guy.

 

He's been away for a week and will be away for another 8 weeks (will see him on a few weekends). It will be a good chance to have some space but see what else is out there :s

 

I do think about all the times a guy has felt right /good chemistry and he turned out to be a disaster so ...... I don't know if I really trust anything I think or feel anymore.

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Don't think of your past relationships as disasters. Think of them as learning experiences. You were drawn to every man before for a reason -- they taught you something that will change the way you look at life forever, even if you don't realize it now, or they led you down a road you needed to be on to get to your ultimate goal.

 

Maybe this new man just doesn't have anything to offer you. Or maybe your lack of interest in this man is the lesson itself -- just because he looks right and acts right doesn't mean he's right for you.

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How can you listen to your gut instinct when there doesn’t appear to be a logical reason (yet)?

 

..... I just don’t want him anywhere near me, I dread him touching me, hate him kissing me, I almost feel sick and repulsed, repelled .....

 

The logical reasons are underlined. You like the idea of what life could be for you, if only you liked him. But you don't like him. You hate him kissing you and dread him touching you.

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