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AuroraLily

Greetings and Salutations!

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Hello everyone. I am very happy I found this forum. I am hoping to find answers and guidance now that I am here. I need help and I don't know where to go from this point on.

 

I can't say that I am as gifted as some of the people on this board. I would say that I have a strong intuition and every once in a blue moon, what I think others would call "spirit guides" would warn me or give me a message. I have to admit I probably dismissed most of them because I didn't trust the source and assumed it was my mind playing tricks on me. One time, however, I was traveling in my parent's car and I suddenly knew I must tell my father (who was driving) to stop. So I yelled out "STOP!". My father slammed on the brakes and turned around to yell at me for doing that, thinking I was goofing off in the back seat. We were in a busy parking lot and about 3 cars down, where we would be if my father kept going, a car flew by going about 60 through the parking lot slots and cutting lanes. We would have been seriously T-boned.

 

I have seen things, every once in a while, that I can not explain or understand. One that scared me beyond belief in the moment (but looking back I see there was nothing to be scared of, I was just not expecting it or understood it) was when I was in a deep sleep about 5 years ago. I woke from it very suddenly and could see a small face peeking over the edge of the bed. I had bad eyesight then so I assumed it was a pile of laundry on the floor or something else in the distance and my eyes/mind was playing tricks on me. I waited for my eyes to adjust but they didn't. It was just this little face, peering at me from the nose up and her little hands on the edge of the bed. I decided to sit up and the change of viewpoint would help me see what it really was. When I sat up, the face turned upward to follow me. This was when I freaked.out. I started breathing very hard with what I am sure is a panicked look on my face. The little girl stepped back from the bed and I remember her face was suddenly shocked or surprised, as in saying "you can see me?". At this point the level of my freaking out was at my personal max and I, in a fully childish moment, hid my face in my hands. When I finally peered back out from my fingers she was gone. Looking back I feel badly that I reacted that way and that I may have scared whoever or whatever that was. There was no feeling of harm, just curiosity or perhaps watching over me? I'm not sure. I do remember she had her hair in short pigtails with curly ends. But she wasn't solid. She wasn't a color. She wasn't white...I want to say she was transparent but she wasn't. I hope this makes sense to all of you because it makes none to me.

 

I am not going to be going into as much detail with the next part in terms of the rules of the board, but I started having problems with a dark presence or ... I don't know. It seems to bother me the most when I am asleep. These dreams were incredibly vivid and would feel real after I woke up, even though they were definitely a dream. As an adult, I started doing visualization exercises to deal with it while I was sleeping, and it worked so instead of letting the dream control me and feeling powerless I had the tools to stop what was happening, fight back, and not let the "bad" in the dreams harm me or scare me to the point that they did before.

 

However, over the past few years there has been a handful of times that my dreams have turned...lucid? It's hard to explain but I feel that I am back to square one. I am aware that I am lying in bed, that I am or was asleep or that my subconscious is aware of my conscious. Sleep paralysis perhaps? Anyway, in these handful of times I have felt attacked or threatened by a presence and it is very different from being in a dream where I can manipulate my surroundings because I'm not dreaming. I have had this happen twice in the past month and the second time when I woke up fully after the lucid experience, I could still feel the places on my body where whoever it was touched me (which has never happened before). All day today I feel like I have a wet blanket on my back or someone standing behind me. I hate it.

 

So I prayed for help and came to find this forum. I am already feeling less alone (and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying "less crazy"?). In my personal life I have no one to share my fears or have guidance about how to protect myself spiritually (and emotionally/physically) from this. I don't even know what "this" is, other than my intuition is saying to come to people like this community for answers.

 

If you made it to the end of this, you get a gold star and an internet cookie for being so wonderful to read all of this. I hope I wasn't too dark in my descriptions but...I just need help. Thank you so much and I look forward to getting to know you!

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Guest Moopurple

Welcome! So, there are actually some topics about dream lucidity and sleep paralysis that came up recently. You might want to have a look at them! I think one of the topics is in the meditation or classroom section. Though you will find things all over ;)

 

And we have different levels of "gifted" on this board. I personally am all over the place. I am a skeptic about 70% of the time haha...even of my own abilities. There is really a variety. So you shouldn't expect that you are not as gifted, but simply gifted in different arenas. It sounds like you've had quite a few experiences.

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Thank you, Moopurple! I just saw the poll on hypnagogia in the meditation board and a discussion on lucid dreaming in the dreams board, so it really seems like I'm in the right place! :D

 

Also, thank you for your comment about the different types of giftedness and being a skeptic. I am glad that I am not the only person skeptic. Perhaps that will change as I learn more about myself and others here.

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I would like to share something. It is a little dark, but it MAY give you some insight. Around 5 months ago, my friend and I friend and I had this project where we would offer advice to people who were legit freaked out about being able to do things and/or see things. It was via e-mail. Sometimes we approached people....other times we would ask for people to contact us. So anyway,one day, we were looking for our chance to help people on the board/forums we frequented. I stumbled across a topic made by a guy who called himself Null. Null had an interesting and quite horrific problem. He saw demonic creatures in his waking life and had nightmares every night. Thing was, he was spiritually healthy and he preached about being in the light. He seemed very knowledgeable in some occult. So I told my friend to e-mail him, and they began talking. When my friend received the first e-mail from Null, he showed me it. Null told us that the creatures protested him talking to us (my friend told him that he worked as a partner with someone me). Thing was, this wasn't the first time that he was challenged by them for seeking help. Null said he went to three therapists and they all couldn't say what was the matter with him.

 

So here my friend and I are, trying to help this guy out...when a few therapists couldn't. We were a little out of our league. When Null sent his last e-mail that day, he was physically getting harmed by the creatures for talking to us. We told him to see an exorcist. But then I had a crazy notion...what if he needs to see what he's seeing? What if they were putting him through this pain because he wanted to stop seeing these things? From what Null said, it seemed like he could have prevented the attack considering how much knowledge he had on the occult. Maybe the reasons for him seeing horrific images was actually part of his purpose. So, I told my friend to e-mail him one more time and tell him about my notion. I said that perhaps he's meant to see these images. That my friend and I will probably never see. He would have to bear the weight on his own shoulders, and believe that the images he was seeing was that of humanity in its darkest hours. He didn't respond until a week or two later. He got better and really listened to what I said. He told us that they were getting weaker, and things seemed like they were generally getting better. He said that if they DO disappear, he won't ever forget the images he was shown.

 

Now you might ask, 'how does this relate to me?'. Well, you're scared from that dark presence. By the way it sounds, it seems like this presence is 1 on 1 against you. If this is compared to Null's case, we know that in his instance, it was multiple. Now, for you...I wouldn't suggest a passive stance unless your gut feeling tells you to do what Null did. If not, then at least take the moral of the anecdote to heart (until you find something that works)- there will be good experiences, and there will be bad ones...but we learn just as much from both.

 

Also, welcome.

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I came back on tonight to peek and I had replies! Yay!!!

 

Before I respond to everyone, I want to say that yesterday before I posted my intro and detailed issue on the dreams forum I was constantly feeling like someone was behind me and a wet blanket was on my upper back and neck. It was uncomfortable and make me nervous and tense. At one point I even turned around and thought at whatever it was to leave me alone in a weak personal moment but it didn't make a difference. About 4-5 hours after I posted here, before I went to bed (which I was dreading for obvious reasons), the pressure behind me disappeared completely and I felt like a weight had been lifted. I don't know if it had to do with reaching out to this forum or if anyone here had anything to do with it. If it was the latter: thank you, I was able to go to bed without fear last night.

 

Xenthian: Like Null, I am going to have to take some time to reflect on what you've said. It is hard to think that my experience was something I needed because a personal boundary was crossed (or was attempted to cross). However, I can already see one positive result for it's occurrence, which is I have found this forum and people who can help me grow and understand what this is. Perhaps this will lead me to do something significant in the future. Who knows? It does feel better to think of it that way than just feeling lost and violated by something I can't talk about to anyone day to day. I can't even tell my husband because I am fairly sure he won't believe me, or doesn't want to believe. I told him about a dream of a man living in the house we had recently moved into, that he was annoyed by us making all the noise and I dreamed that he was peering at us from the doorway of our bedroom, glaring at us in the bed (not in a menacing way, but more of a "Keep it down all ya whipper snappers! You're making too much of a ruckus! <stern glare to make sure you get my meaning>". When I told him this I didn't think it was that concerning, just that it was one of my vivid dreams where I was aware of my surroundings and he cut me off and said that he didn't want to know about stuff like that. It scared him. So I haven't told him anything since. :(

 

Chamuel: Yes! She reacted as if she was surprised that I could see her. I got the impression that she thought I couldn't see her at all so when I woke she just continued to watch. When I started to panic was when she got the look of surprise so I wonder if she had been with me before. I've thought about that moment with the little girl a lot. It was one of my few experiences with seeing/feeling things that were peaceful and loving and good (even though in the moment I acted like a bafoon). I've constantly wondered who or what she was. I have always wondered if she was the soul of one of my daughters. I did become pregnant with my first child less than 6 months after that, and my daughter does have curly, Shirley-temple like ringlets (gets it from her father). Maybe it was her, coming to visit before she was conceived? I can't remember the face of the girl specifically and I wish I knew if it was my daughter, or if it was one of my spirit guides, or if it was a passing entity that decided to take a peek at me. Whoever it was, it was good. That's all I know.

 

It gives me hope to hear that others have found a way to stop things from happening. I have been interested in doing meditations and learning more about the chakra system but to be honest, I've been scared that I'll open myself further to things I don't know how to drown out. So mostly I've been working on being physically and emotionally healthy and happy (which I feel like I am, more so now than I've ever been I'm happy to say). I've done some stretching and deep breathing but stop myself from doing serious meditation from that fear of what it may cause. I plan to do more reading about grounding and personal shielding and I think that will help. At least I hope it will.

 

You all are so wonderful to write to me. I feel much less alone thanks you all of you!

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Welcome to the forum! I'm sure you have come to the right place to find the help and guidance you seek.

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Welcome to the forum! I'm sure you have come to the right place to find the help and guidance you seek.

Hi, I used to have an experience like yours at night when I was sleeping, it happened quite a few times, I wouldn't be able to move, shout or even open my eyes. It was not a pleasent experience. Eventually one night I managed to open my eyes a bit for a second and saw a large figure at the bottom of my bed. In my head I told this figure to go away and that I wasn't frightened of it anymore as I felt that it couldn't really hurt me, at that moment I felt all my fear and the negative energy it was causing vanish. I have not had that experience since I'm pleased to say. Hope this helps :-)

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Hi, I used to have an experience like yours at night when I was sleeping, it happened quite a few times, I wouldn't be able to move, shout or even open my eyes. It was not a pleasent experience. Eventually one night I managed to open my eyes a bit for a second and saw a large figure at the bottom of my bed. In my head I told this figure to go away and that I wasn't frightened of it anymore as I felt that it couldn't really hurt me, at that moment I felt all my fear and the negative energy it was causing vanish. I have not had that experience since I'm pleased to say. Hope this helps :-)

 

 

Sorry pressed the wrong reply button, New to this! :-/

 

It's okay,Jackie. When you want to reply,hit the reply button under the member's post that you wish to reply to. ^.^

You can also quote multiple replies by hitting the button that looks like a speech bubble. [ quote ] [ /quote ] <----- these two things will appear together. From there scroll down to the message you want to quote. Copy it,scroll back up and paste the quote in between [ quote ] [/quote ] <--- these two things.

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