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DeMartini

EVERYONE Hates my boyfriend... Is it not meant to be?

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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months and during that time he has managed to paint a negative picture of himself to everyone I know. My friends tell me every single day that I'm too good for him and that I need to leave him. The thing is, I can't leave him. I really do adore this guy and although he can be a little crazy at times and often down right mean, I still enjoy the time I spend with him. We have a bond that my friends and family don't see. I have to admit, I have tried to leave him many times before, but I always end up running back to him. I really don't want to let him go. The thought of meeting another potential guy freaks me out because I really do like being with my boyfriend. Everyone is saying that he's never going to take our relationship seriously and that I am only hurting myself if I stay with him. Lately, I have noticed that he has been trying to be a better boyfriend. I think he genuinely does want to be with me. What I am wondering is, are my friends right? do any of you see our relationship going anywhere?

 

Thank you!

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Guest Moopurple

Would you ask if you didn't doubt the relationship? I am only asking because I am putting myself in your place in this circumstance. If it were me, asking if it was going anywhere means that I have the idea it's not.

 

I just get the feeling that you're staying with him because you want to be with someone. Not because you actually want to be with him...

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Would you ask if you didn't doubt the relationship? I am only asking because I am putting myself in your place in this circumstance. If it were me, asking if it was going anywhere means that I have the idea it's not.

 

I just get the feeling that you're staying with him because you want to be with someone. Not because you actually want to be with him...

 

I doubt it because everyone else does. We have only been together for 7 months, but he wants me to move in. I've kind of avoided moving in because I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet. He tosses the idea of marriage around sometimes, but I'm not sure how sincere he is as we haven't been together that long. There are aspects of our relationship that I'm not happy about, but if I'm always looking for protection, I'm never going to find it. We have so much fun together. I don't want to just end things because everyone else around me is trying to convince me it isn't right. Uggghhh I wish I could read his mind and see where he stands in all this. I'm really hoping that he doesn't just keep me around to fill some emotional void.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months and during that time he has managed to paint a negative picture of himself to everyone I know. My friends tell me every single day that I'm too good for him and that I need to leave him. The thing is, I can't leave him. I really do adore this guy and although he can be a little crazy at times and often down right mean, I still enjoy the time I spend with him. We have a bond that my friends and family don't see. I have to admit, I have tried to leave him many times before, but I always end up running back to him. I really don't want to let him go. The thought of meeting another potential guy freaks me out because I really do like being with my boyfriend. Everyone is saying that he's never going to take our relationship seriously and that I am only hurting myself if I stay with him. Lately, I have noticed that he has been trying to be a better boyfriend. I think he genuinely does want to be with me. What I am wondering is, are my friends right? do any of you see our relationship going anywhere?

 

Thank you!

 

 

Its your relationship you know him better than your friends, they image the same as you share with them, if you have trust than no need to think like that. enjoy his company and his love, care and affection.

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Guest Moopurple

I think that you should listen to the reasons why your family and friends dislike him. I have been in the position where I disapprove of a friend's boyfriend and there was a reason!

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I think that you should listen to the reasons why your family and friends dislike him. I have been in the position where I disapprove of a friend's boyfriend and there was a reason!

 

I agree. Others are often able to see what we cannot see. Love can be very blind at times.

 

Someone told me once that you can love a person with your heart and soul but not like who they are as a person. If you don't like a person's morals and values, it is not a good relationship for you. If this is the case, you need to respect yourself enough to walk away.

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This is always a tough situation. My brother-in-law married a girl that NONE of us really liked (and by none I mean ALL of his friends and family) Not that we didn't like her, we just didn't feel that they didn't have the healthiest relationship. Anyway, he stuck to his guns and decided that his opinion was the only one that mattered. And I have say after being married for a year, I do think they really love each other, disfunction and all. LOL We've all just decided that we want whatever makes him happy and we'll support him. And if it ends horribly, as we feel it probably will, in the end its a lesson he'll have to learn for himself.

 

 

I guess the moral of the story is that yeah in the end it's your call. And if they love you they'll support you. Just remember that they are only concerned because they care. And sometimes it's easier for the people you love to see someone's character because they aren't clouded by infactuation. Noone can make the decision for you....but chances are...your friends and family are probably onto something.

 

In this situation, I would say follow your gut...the heart can be misleading.

 

Village Witch - I love that "Someone told me once that you can love a person with your heart and soul but not like who they are as a person."

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I had been to this similar situation too. My family especially mom doesn't like him. I have this relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half now; my parents and grandparents doesn't know we're together. My siblings did tell me that I'm too good for him and he has been trying to be better for me.

 

I know that feeling too and sometimes I would agree with everyone else too. But also try to prove them wrong. I won't encourage you for this relationship but somehow, I will say let fate decide for you to see what end is there?

 

So what do you think? Should you leave him a move forward? Or see what unknown possibility and risk can take you?

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If you don't see this through, you will always wonder if you passed up the love of your life. Let this play out until you are certain one way or the other. You are pulled in too many directions at the moment to be sure of anything. You are right to go slowly and if this guy really likes and repsects you, he won't try to rush you. Give the guy a good chance but always look out for your own interests first.

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I don't have to worry too much about it because he ended it today. :( He says we're still together and that it's just a break... But that's kind of crock to me. Ugh!!! Guys.... :_(

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Then the choice was made for you. It was not meant to be, so start looking around for the real Mr. Right. Use the lesson and understanding of yourself you gained here to help with your next relationship.

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Thank you, Captain :) Thinking back, him leaving me was the best thing that could have happened; however, I will miss him a lot. :( Break ups are alway hard. I did learn a ton, though, that's for sure.

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I doubt it because everyone else does. We have only been together for 7 months, but he wants me to move in. I've kind of avoided moving in because I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet. He tosses the idea of marriage around sometimes, but I'm not sure how sincere he is as we haven't been together that long. There are aspects of our relationship that I'm not happy about, but if I'm always looking for protection, I'm never going to find it. We have so much fun together. I don't want to just end things because everyone else around me is trying to convince me it isn't right. Uggghhh I wish I could read his mind and see where he stands in all this. I'm really hoping that he doesn't just keep me around to fill some emotional void.

 

 

I was in a relationship for 4 years, to what sounds kind of similar to this. We had a lot of fun, I loved his personality, was attracted to him, similar interests... almost had it all.

But when it came down to it, he could be very negative, and mean. We would argue about pretty much nothing. I was always worried he wasn't fully into it, and I was always feeling insecure,

and just not really as happy as I thought I was. We broke up recently, and I've come to realize.. There are people out there who will make you feel loved, and can be positive.

You say that you adore him, and enjoy his company...

I just want to be honest....

Sometimes that isn't enough for a relationship. You want to feel on top of the world when you're in love.

My ex is still trying to come around, and it's VERY difficult to tell him I still don't want to be with him.. Because, yeah, I DO enjoy his company! Very much so. But it's just so much better as friends.

You say you are not sure how he stands in all of this, or if he is sincere.... I think you gotta figure out if he does!!

For me, now, I want to KNOW if my guy is in it. I want him to show it, make me feel happy, on top of the world. Like there is nothing he is more sure of.

But also, he may be shy, or maybe he was previously hurt by somebody and reluctant to fully give himself to you. I dont know the situation, but you should definitely see where he stands!

I'm not the best at advice, but I thought I'd give my two cents since I felt related to the situation. And good luck, girl!!

I hope you find happiness in whatever you do! <333

 

I don't have to worry too much about it because he ended it today. :( He says we're still together and that it's just a break... But that's kind of crock to me. Ugh!!! Guys.... :_(

 

Oh no, I didn't see this before I replied earlier! I'm sorry ;'(

Surround yourself with people who love you! It's the best way to heal :)

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Thank you so much for you advice. :) Crazy thing is, we got back together. He gave me the option to decide whether or not I want to continue a romantic relationship with him. I wanted to take some time to decide, but rushed back in when I found pictures of him with another girl (he claims she's just a college friend). I know that is a terrible deciding factor, but in that instant, I knew I wanted him.I couldn't stand to see him with another girl. The problem is, I don't feel like is heart is completely in it. I feel like he keeps me around because I adore him and care for him. We also both really enjoy one another's company. But you're right, that's not enough. A romantic relationship is a two sided thing. I should never have to question if everything is fine. I should know that he adores me and feel wanted. It's just so hard for me to let go. I am attached and I'd rather have the feeling of having someone there than being alone. It's so, so hard. :( I am hesitant to breakup just because I keep thinking he'll change and everything will get better. I really don't know if he can change though. I'm a total slave to love. :(

 

Good luck to you! and congratulations for staying strong... 4 years is a long time. Thanks again :)

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You love him more than you love yourself, plus he doesn't love you like you love him - where is there any love for you?

 

You've got a point :( But I also don't know how he truly feels about me.

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"The problem is, I don't feel like his heart is completely in it. I feel like he keeps me around because I adore him and care for him." Have you asked him point blank if he loves you? A one-sided affair will not work.

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Thank you so much for you advice. :) Crazy thing is, we got back together. He gave me the option to decide whether or not I want to continue a romantic relationship with him. I wanted to take some time to decide, but rushed back in when I found pictures of him with another girl (he claims she's just a college friend). I know that is a terrible deciding factor, but in that instant, I knew I wanted him.I couldn't stand to see him with another girl. The problem is, I don't feel like is heart is completely in it. I feel like he keeps me around because I adore him and care for him. We also both really enjoy one another's company. But you're right, that's not enough. A romantic relationship is a two sided thing. I should never have to question if everything is fine. I should know that he adores me and feel wanted. It's just so hard for me to let go. I am attached and I'd rather have the feeling of having someone there than being alone. It's so, so hard. :( I am hesitant to breakup just because I keep thinking he'll change and everything will get better. I really don't know if he can change though. I'm a total slave to love. :(

 

Good luck to you! and congratulations for staying strong... 4 years is a long time. Thanks again :)

If he's taking pictures with another girl shortly after breaking things off with you then this is all a big game to him to see how he can make you squirm. Not healthy at all and this is probably why your friends and family are concerned. However this is your life and you're going to live it the way it suits you just be very aware that one sided relationships can become abusive fast so guard yourself and be careful. Also don't forget that there are plenty of fish in the sea that will adore you.

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