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Victoria

10 things to avoid saying!

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... "What's the word I'm looking for?" I usually mean this literally and I really think I set myself up for being inarticulate. but I get stumped. I could pause and wait till it comes but I'm Dominican, I speak like a mile a minute when i try to get my point across. I still don't know the proper replacement. My brother has decided to replace whatever that "word" is with vulgar terms just to stop me from saying it but it only stumps me more and I'm sure it makes it worse! I could use the help on that one.Please

 

How about "Oh, I know this word... hang on...." I have to do that a lot, just because I'm scatter-brained and forget basic words (and other things) in the middle of using them.

Now. Who's going to get on my case for calling myself scatter-brained??

~ Zan

 

ps - if anyone does, I'd have to point out that it just took me three tries to type my NAME correctly! lol!

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Guest Sparklyy
'Anything good is possible; nothing is too good to be true.'

 

-Except for guys- They are usually too good to be true

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Just FTR: When I say "I'm sorry" in those times, I usually mean, 'I sympathize', or 'I am sorry you have to deal with that'. 'I am sorry for your loss'. I don't mean that I am a sorry person, or that I have to apologize for the situation, as it probably wasn't my doing in the first place. Its empathy. However, I'm sorry can carry a lot of weight if it something that should be said because of some wrong doing.

 

Trust me (lol- something else I see I am not supposed to say) I have been to a LOT of funerals in the last few years. I have been on the giving and receiving end of a lot of this kind sentiment. As if expressing sympathy is easy to begin with, almost NOTHING you can say is enough or going to be a fix. 'I'm sorry' is the best you can do, and I found that a simple memory is sentiment least forgotten.

 

And yes. Sometimes there ARE years like that. You have to dig to find the good. But life goes on. It does get better. Do I feel the Universe did that to ME? No. It was the time of my life where many people were being called home. It was a time of growth for me and others. Life is trials and tribulations.

 

We recently had an incident where someone did something very thoughtful 2 years after a death in the family. TRUST me...it meant so much. Its never too late. This I know for sure.

 

So, I agree, its not what you say, its how you say it. AND sometimes its just showing up to say SOMETHING. Or just showing up and not saying a thing, but giving a hug. These are my life lessons.

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These are my life lessons.

 

Thank you for sharing them, complexity. :)

 

I agree with you about words not being a panacea for grief. I've actually said what you observed: "I know that there's nothing I can say that will make you feel better...". people seem to like the acknowledgement.

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