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I've always believed in soul mates. I think I met mine. The one. My one and only. My one true love. The one I can't live without. But, he's also the one that got away.. I guess before I go on, I am aware of twin flames. I'm not sure if he's my soul mate or my twin flame. I consider him my soul mate, but he also seems to be what is described as a twin flame.

 

Time did stand still when I first saw him. I think I was already in love. We went on many adventures and it felt great to be by his side, I felt whole. I found him absolutely hilarious and entertaining, and a great lover. We were two poets in love and he always had the perfect response to finish my sonnets. We did have problems. Although when I look back on it, it was all petty problems that could have been fixed if we both weren't so stubborn.

 

We got married a year after meeting. I never in a million years imagined myself getting married. But, I didn't want to be with anyone else. This was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A month passed into our marriage and we had been bickering. We got a letter in the mail saying that the paper work that was done to make our marriage official had an error, we needed to fix it properly or our marriage would be null and void. We never fixed it. Was it a test? Was that meant to happen? Were we supposed to fix it? I regret not fixing the paper work.

 

I ended up falling into a deep depression, not exactly because of the marriage issues, but because of other things in my life. I ended up in the hospital three times. My life was falling apart. He'd come and visit me and I was happy to see him, but at the same time, I didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't want him to see me at my lowest point. I wanted to die. I also wanted to just be with him. But he thought I was pushing him away. I really needed him though. Finally he gave up and left.

 

I never stopped thinking about him. Not a day went by where he wasn't in my thoughts. Finally, months and months later, we were back together. I asked if he wanted to get on a grey hound bus and move to Washington (from California) with me. He agreed with no hesitation. A new start. I was so happy.

 

Everything seemed to be going well but arguing and jealousy arose once again. I remember his exact words, "I don't want to be with you anymore." I felt a blow to my stomach, to my heart, (what are you talking about?) "yes you do," I assured him. He ended up leaving me. I was heartbroken, devastated. This was right before Valentine's day. I decided I was going back to California alone. I made one last attempt to talk to him and get through to him before I left, to no avail. Was this a test? Was he supposed to leave? Was I supposed to leave? I regret leaving. I wonder if he does too.

 

I drove back to California from Washington, in pieces. I met a new guy, I wasn't in love with him, I was still in love with my husband, my soul mate. I ended up getting pregnant right away. I wished the child was my ex's, but the child belonged to the new guy. Not a day went by that I didn't think about him, my soul mate. We kept in contact. We said we'd be together again but it never happened. We'd meet up and have a great time but that was it. Months would pass by until I saw him again. This devastated me. I havn't seen him in a while now, it seems I've finally lost him.

 

 

Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I dream about him all the time. I swear that we telepathically communicate. I've had lovers after him but nobody can compare to him. In fact, I compare everyone to him. I see him in everyone, and everything, in every love song, every poem. I can't get him out of my mind. People tell me our relationship was toxic. My heart tells me that he was the one, and still is. I've tried and tried to fight and win him back. I've listened to my heart. I've chased after him. I'm exhausted. I think he feels the same way and is fighting it. Maybe he's scared of the Love he feels. Maybe he isn't spiritually ready for a relationship. Do I stop? Will he come back on his own? He did before. My heart is crushed and I wish he was here now.

 

I'm not sure what to do or exactly what advice I'm seeking. Any feedback is appreciated.

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While I don't have enough details to tell whether or not the relationship was toxic, it seems like it definitely wasn't healthy or happy for both of you. We are not always meant to be with the person we are most drawn to. Do you assess this relationship from a logical viewpoint? Love is completely blinding but in cases like this it is best to put emotions on the back burner and look at it from a new lens.

 

Figure out why you want to be with him. Decide what all of the necessary traits are in a mate that you want and decide exactly how you want the relationship to be. From there you can try to figure out if your desire for him is something you want to continue to pursue. It may shed some light upon the situation to think from the most objective view that you possibly can.

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Oh, rainy... Everything you just typed sounds exactly like my past relationship.

 

I met a man on an internet dating site. A lot of my friends knew him though, so I felt comfortable talking to him and meeting up with him eventually. I had the same feeling when we met -- love at first sight, time standing still. We went on a lot of adventures together and laughed together. He was spiritual in the way that I was, accepted all the silly quirks about me, and even enjoyed talking about them. I believed 100% that he was my soulmate, especially since Victoria (a moderator here) had given me a reading some time before. And everything she had said pointed to this guy being important to me.

 

We didn't date for very long. He wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship, and one night, I showed up at a party that he had invited me to and I caught him kissing another woman. The blow haunted me for a long time. I was so embarrassed that I had dedicated so much effort to this man, only to have him choose someone else over me. Right in front of me too. We talked about it after the anger wore off. I realized we never said we were exclusive, so I could only be angry that he had chosen to do that in front of me, when he was supposed to be spending time with me, not her. We continued to see each other after that, but it wasn't the same. He was distant. Cold, really. It was hard to get him on the phone, even harder to get him in person.

 

Then my birthday came around, and he decided to throw a party. It wasn't necessarily a party FOR me, but it was a party on my birthday nonetheless. It was a great night. I can still remember almost every detail. I didn't see him for another two weeks after that. Then he invited me over to his house. And when I went to leave and hugged him goodbye, some part of me knew that I'd never see him again. And I didn't -- not for a really long time. He had texted me and told me he didn't want to see me again. I was devastated. We were soulmates! Didn't he know that? He stopped responding to my emails, my text messages, my phone calls. He eventually blocked my phone number so that I couldn't contact him if I wanted to. That's what hurt the most. He wanted so little to do with me that he didn't even want to see my phone number pop up on his cell phone.

 

I started running through every possible situation and what I had done wrong, what I could have done better. I beat myself up over it for a long time. I eventually found a rebound guy, who I dated for over a year. But he wasn't my soulmate. And I was constantly comparing him to that other guy. I never stopped loving him, ever, and I thought I never would.

 

A year after me and this guy stopped talking, I moved in with my boyfriend. A couple months later, I was shocked to find an email from my ex. He told me how sorry he was for shutting me out -- he was head-over-heels in love with me, and he was afraid. He said he was joining the military and didn't want to leave without clearing the air with me. So we started talking again, and I finally felt complete again. We met up once, had coffee. And I felt everything all over again. So when he left (again), I felt the loss just as strongly as I had the first time.

 

I ended up leaving the man I lived with because I realized I could never love him the way that I loved this other man, and he deserved to find someone who loved him completely. I found someone else. We got engaged. I loved him, but I still thought of that other man. There was still a part of me that loved him and that never forgot us. I would dream about him often, terrible nightmares where I'd have him and then lose him all over again. I missed him so much, I started writing a novel about our relationship (different names and more fantasy than real life, though). It was hard to relive all of those memories. I just wanted him back more than anything. Even engaged, I never stopped wanting him. My fiance never had my whole heart, and I felt so guilty about that. But my fiance was a good man. And there was no reason I couldn't be as happy with him as with any other.

 

Then I met someone new. Well.. "new" isn't the right word. I met a guy online when I was 12. He lived in another state, so I never actually met him.. But we were close. Closer than anyone else I'd ever known. It's hard to explain what happened with him and make it brief (though I talk about it on here all the time, so I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find if you really wanted to know :P) But in a nutshell, I came to realize how much I love him. And that I didn't want to live without him. So I left my fiance. And I moved from Illinois to Virginia to be with my best friend.. and my soulmate. It's been 6 months since I made that decision. And you know what's happened?

 

I've forgotten about my ex.. my OTHER "soulmate." I remember my life with him, but I don't feel as connected to it as I used to. I remember how much I loved him, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. I don't compare my boyfriend to my ex. I don't miss my ex. I don't even think about my ex. My boyfriend has filled my heart so much that there's no room for my ex. I even stopped writing that novel about us, because I felt like I was writing about someone else. Those memories don't mean anything to me anymore.

 

If you read anything about my post, read this much. Shortly after my current boyfriend and I got together, I read an article online about soulmates. And it said that sometimes, an imposter soulmate will often come into our lives to prepare us for the real thing. They'll give you the same feelings that a soulmate will. You'll love them deeply and desire them strongly. They'll even resemble and act very much like your true soulmate. But it'll be more toxic than a real soulmate, because soulmate relationships are supposed to be pure. But with the imposter, you'll feel just the way we did -- compare everyone to them, not want them to see us at our low point, feel that we can't live without them.

 

In a REAL soulmate (or I guess a TRUE soulmate is a better word), you won't be afraid for them to see you at your weakest. Because they love you unconditionally and that will never change. You'll want them with you in the worst times, because they'll know exactly how to support you and make you feel better. And while you'll never WANT to live without them, you know that you COULD live without them if you had to. Your happiness won't be so tethered to them that if they leave, you're entire life falls apart.

 

I've never found any other website that makes these claims. So I honestly can't say if it's truth or just a theory.. But I know it was true for me. And I believe it's true for you too. This man that you loved may be a soulmate. But he isn't THE soulmate. The right one is out there still, and he'll find you. And all of those hurts your ex made you feel will disappear. And you'll be whole and complete again.

 

 

Good luck. <3 Stay strong.

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Thank you for the reply Elyria, everything you said hit home. I also met him on a dating website. That's what I've started thinking too, that he was someone that resembled my soul mate. I actually now come across people that look like him or have his mannerisms and I become so nostalgic..so I think the charming personality and soft physical features my ex has is what my soul mate that I havn't met encompasses. Whenever I come across someone that looks like him/emits his energy, I feel like I know them. I've just never come across a love greater than I felt with him. I am hopeful that I will find a love that will conquer this one and make me feel as if everything in the past was just a dream, but I also become skeptical sometimes. I feel like I really need my soul mate now, and so I find myself gravitating to my ex. Maybe he's throwing me off my path, actually I guess I'm throwing myself off my path. I feel like I should have met my soul mate by now. I've been searching my whole life.

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While I don't have enough details to tell whether or not the relationship was toxic, it seems like it definitely wasn't healthy or happy for both of you. We are not always meant to be with the person we are most drawn to. Do you assess this relationship from a logical viewpoint? Love is completely blinding but in cases like this it is best to put emotions on the back burner and look at it from a new lens.

 

Figure out why you want to be with him. Decide what all of the necessary traits are in a mate that you want and decide exactly how you want the relationship to be. From there you can try to figure out if your desire for him is something you want to continue to pursue. It may shed some light upon the situation to think from the most objective view that you possibly can.

Thanks for the reply.

We were happy. I know it was one of the happiest points in my life. It's hard for me to admit but maybe it was indeed toxic because of the problems we did have, and not to mention his alcoholism. Though hard to believe, last I heard, he is drinking a lot less, which makes me think that the relationship maybe just didn't work out because he wasn't spiritually ready for it. I feel I am ready to be with my soul mate now. I've gone through some changes too and feel I was ready then as well as now. I've gone through some spiritual development. However, no I don't believe I always asses the relationship from a logical viewpoint. I listen to my heart.. I just want to be with him because he made me very happy.

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I've just kind of skimmed this because I'm supposed to be doing college work...however, this stood out for me..

 

If you read anything about my post, read this much. Shortly after my current boyfriend and I got together, I read an article online about soulmates. And it said that sometimes, an imposter soulmate will often come into our lives to prepare us for the real thing. They'll give you the same feelings that a soulmate will. You'll love them deeply and desire them strongly. They'll even resemble and act very much like your true soulmate. But it'll be more toxic than a real soulmate, because soulmate relationships are supposed to be pure. But with the imposter, you'll feel just the way we did -- compare everyone to them, not want them to see us at our low point, feel that we can't live without them.

 

 

I think this happened before I met my ex. I went out with a guy for a while who turned out to be not what he seemed. The relationship turned toxic. I was a bit reluctant to go out with my ex because he looked a lot like him. He wasnt like him at all. We stayed together for many years. Not a happy ending, but my ex was definitely a soulmate. Just thought I'd share.

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Elyria, can I ask if your imposter soul mate had similar features as you? My ex and I were nearly the same height and had similar facial features. My hand even fit perfectly into his. It seems we even had the same mind sometimes. I find that interesting.. I guess I'm wondering if soul mates often look like each other in some way. It sure would make sense.

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Elyria, can I ask if your imposter soul mate had similar features as you? My ex and I were nearly the same height and had similar facial features. My hand even fit perfectly into his. It seems we even had the same mind sometimes. I find that interesting.. I guess I'm wondering if soul mates often look like each other in some way. It sure would make sense.

 

Physically, not so much. He was taller than me with dark, short, super curly hair. He was also pretty athletic. I had light, long, straight-as-a-board hair at the time, and am not very athletic. lol I consider myself average. Personality wise, though, yes, we were very similar. It was part of the reason why I was so comfortable with him. I wasn't Pagan at the time, but I had started looking into it and he found it all very interesting. We talked about the Tree of Life often and swapped ghost stories. We had a lot of the same likes and dislikes, and we often finished each other's sentences.

 

My boyfriend and I are also very similar, though. He isn't religious, but he has a lot of the same ideas about life that I do. He doesn't think worshiping a God makes sense, we should worship the earth because at least it's here. He's not pagan, but that's exactly what I believe so it's works out. He's also a HUGE cat person, which I am as well. My imposter was a dog person and his dog drove me nuts.. -.- Not that I don't like dogs or anything.. lol Since my imposter left, my hair has darkened naturally a lot so now it's pretty close in color to my boyfriend's, and we're almost the same height. Our names are also pretty close. And my middle name is his sister's name. We also finish each other's sentences often. Or he'll say something just as I'm thinking it. That happens probably about once a week. lol

 

I do believe my imposter is still a soulmate of mine. Just not the one meant for this life. Soulmates are supposed to respect one another always. And in the short amount of time that my imposter and I dated, he disrespected me often. My boyfriend has never done that, and we've already been together about the same amount of time. I'm not saying soulmate relationships should be easy -- they're just as difficult as other relationships. But despite the difficulties, there's still the knowledge that you'll be together forever -- that no matter what happens, they'll never turn their back on you. I felt like I was walking on eggshells with my imposter. I was afraid to do or say the wrong thing and scare him away. I don't feel like that with my boyfriend. He loves and accepts me 100% and never wants me to be anyone other than who I am. In fact, he gets upset with me if I try to act differently to make him happy, when he knows I'm not being myself.

 

I still can't find the article I read, which is stressing me out.. lol But I found something similar. If you Google "Twin Flame vs Soulmate" you'll find a lot of things that are pretty close to what I'm telling you. I personally don't like the term "twim flame." It sounds cheesy to me. But it's the same basic premise. Why don't you give it a looksy? :)

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Elyria, I have read articles about twin flames vs. soul mates. I also don't like the term twin flame very much. I find myself preferring to use the term soul mate(s). My ex/soul mate/not even sure what to call him anymore, has dark hair also and I'm blonde (dark blonde, though I like to dye my hair colors of the rainbow).. We also had different color eyes. His are dark brown and mine are multi-colored with green, blue, and grey. We just seemed to have similar facial structure (nose, chin) and I pointed this out to him once or twice and he said, "hm, we do actually look alike".. And yes, personality wise we were similar too. I'd say he's the male version of me. I still feel connected to him and feel like we're never truely away from each other and never will be. I have to wonder if maybe we met too early in our life and both weren't spiritually ready for the relationship because yes there were problems and some disrespect on both sides. Maybe he is indeed the one, or maybe just an imposter like you said.

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I wondered the same thing more than you know. My ex wasn't ready for a relationship, and I knew that, so I tried to be gentle with him. I never called myself his girlfriend or implied that we were going to be together forever. But we saw each other every day for months, so it was hard to stop myself every time. I remember the day he shut me out. We went over to his brother's house for his birthday. And he went to introduce me to his parents, and said, "This is myyy...." And then walked away. I had to finish for him. I could almost hear the click -- the sound of the door closing. And it never opened back up again.

 

That was the big turning point for us. That was when he stopped talking to me a lot and not seeing each other as often. Once we started to drift apart, I told him about the psychic reading I'd had that pointed to him. He seemed to take it okay.

 

But for five years, every time I thought about him, I wondered if I could have done something differently. If I hadn't gone to that party for his brother, would he still have gotten scared away? If I hadn't told him about my psychic reading, would he have stuck around longer? If I hadn't seen him kissing another girl, would our relationship have grown? If I had just been patient with him, would he have eventually come around and be ready for a relationship?

 

Everyone told me to give it time. I couldn't force him to come back to me, and if he did come back, I couldn't force a relationship onto him. And they were right, so I let it go. But when he started texting me again, telling me that he was afraid of what he felt for me, I thought that was our chance. I thought he was finally ready to be with me. But then he said he was supposed to join the military. So maybe I'd just stick around, wait for him to come back. But then his application fell through. And I thought, "A sign!" He wasn't supposed to leave because he was supposed to stay and be with me. I was living with my boyfriend at the time, though, so I knew it would still be tricky.

 

But he didn't want to be with me. He poured his heart out to me, apologizing for how horrible he was, how terribly he treated me, how much he cared about me. But when I offered to leave my boyfriend and be with him, he said no. He still wasn't ready. He still didn't want a relationship with anyone, he said. So he stopped talking to me again. And boy, was I a wreck. It was worse the second time. I got to the point to where I was ready to die. Not suicidal -- not quite. I told myself that if I was ever in a position to get into an accident (car accident, fire, etc), I wouldn't do anything to stop it. I'd just... let it happen. Because I was just ready to die.. so that I could start my next life and be with him.

 

I texted him from time to time, letting him know I was still there, still wanted to be friends with him. I never got a response. Until I did. And it was from his girlfriend. Telling me to leave him alone.

 

So when he said he wasn't ready for a relationship, he didn't mean with anyone. He meant with me. And that's what hit home for me. Because I realized that it wasn't about me -- it wasn't about what I did or didn't do, or what I said or didn't say. It was about him. HE was the one that needed space. HE was the one that needed to work things out. HE was the one that still required growth.

 

So I stopped punishing myself. I still loved him and still missed him. But I stopped blaming myself. Because what was going on in his mind and his heart wasn't my fault. And the only option I had was to move on. And I'm so glad that I did. Because what me and my boyfriend have is miles above what me and my ex had. Because it's exactly like what we had. But better. And more complete.

 

Sometimes, the timing IS off. But it's off by a life time. And it's not your fault. And it's not his fault. He was simply sent here to help you grow and to teach you something you didn't know before. And once you get passed the pain, you'll figure out what he was sent here to do. And then you'll move on. And you'll find new happiness. And it'll be even more amazing than it was the first time.

 

So hang in there. And don't blame yourself. The universe has a plan. <3

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Elyria, What you wrote sounds really familiar. We both have poured our hearts out to each other. We have gotten back together several times but the last time we split (on his account, seems it has always been on his account, seemed final). Not final as in I'll never see him in this life time or another again (I'm 99% certain I will). But final, as in, I don't see us being together in this life anymore or final as in I've finally given up on chasing him. He is scared. I think he's scared of the deep love he has felt for me and he ran. He has never felt that before and neither have I. Though as much as I tell myself to move on and it isn't healthy to hang onto him, and I feel as though I've given up, I know there's still some part of me that hasn't given up entirely. I'm still waiting for him to come around.

 

If we both knew the world would end tomorrow, I bet we'd both drop everything and be in each other's arms right now. Sometimes I imagine us getting back together when we're 80 years old and I feel that it'll be too late then. I'll feel like we missed so much. We're still in contact to this day but very sparingly. I was feeling really lonely a couple of weeks ago and sent him a text saying "Seattle is my lover, I'm gonna move back." We had moved out there from California together a couple of years ago.. His response, "I'll move back someday." I broke down in tears after reading that. I thought it was romantic, hopeful, but very sad. I actually havn't heard from him in about three weeks and it usually isn't that long until I hear from him again. But what can I do? Just try to move on.. Live my life and hopefully meet someone that does fulfill me and is a soul mate, and maybe finally be reunited with my ex, or not.

 

I came across this article, thought I'd share: http://scienceofthespirit.tumblr.com/post/30243882460/tips-for-navigating-the-twin-flame-experience

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I constantly think about him and I hear his name repeat in my head all the time, all day. It just happens naturally, and I love his name. I can't control it and I'm to the point where I'm asking him to leave my head (telepathically), not because I actually want him to leave, but because it's too distracting. He's the first thought I have when I wake up and before I fall asleep. I had a dream about him last night. I used to dream about him a lot more. There was a party at my parents house. He showed up and I was so happy. I looked around and the place was a mess. Then I lost him. I don't know where he went. I tried looking for my cell phone so I could message him but I couldn't find it. I frantically searched for it. Nothing. I just remembered a strange detail of the dream.. I was in my old bedroom at my parents house and looking for the phone then I saw a bunch of kittens outside the window. Some of the glass of the window was broken and I put my hand through and pet the kittens.. (I keep having dreaming of cats recently). I wasn't able to find him so I decided to take a shower. After, I went to the front yard and I saw he was across the street. My first love from middle school was with him (lol what?) My middle school love walked over to me and said what's up and smiled, I said what's up. But my "soul mate" ignored me and rode slowly away on the horse..

I don't know if I should be wasting all this energy on him. I question even writing about him anymore. But it seems writing helps.

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Ahh I've had dreams like that and they're intensely frustrating! And very hard to figure out as they are so emotionally influenced. Dreams can be the best teachers because it is your subconscious freely telling you what you really want or need to do without the fluff of conscious debate with one's own mind. Just don't over analyze it. I find that the messages are pretty straight forward if there is one in there. Whatever the thought was when you woke up, whether you want it to be true or agree with it or not, it's probably what the dream was conveying to you.

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I like your dream.

 

Its interesting that you put your hand through glass to pet the kittens. I wonder if that is to do with taking risks to give and receive love. Small risks yes, but risks none the less, but what you get for that is so lovely, there isnt much else more lovely than kittens -so soft and gentle, so appealing - maybe like the love us girls want to find. Hand through glass - I wonder if you broke the glass. You know like the saying breaking eggs to make an omelette.

 

Interesting he was with your first love. I would imagine your first love would be a soul mate too.

 

As you've had a load of dreams about cats, I wonder if they are an animal totem, to give you a message. - they symbolize mystery, magic and independence, according to linsdomain on google and also did you say you were pregnant, they can also symbolize fertility and childbirth.angel.gif

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Chamuel, I didn't put much interpretation into the cats of that dream, so thanks for your interpretation... I really like it and it sounds right. I have definitely taken risks in love. I didn't break the glass though. I know the house represents the self, so maybe it represents my damaged self..

 

I've had cats around me my whole life and I adore them so I've always seen them as a spirit animal.

 

We exchanged a few text messages last night. It seems we have this exact same conversation every couple of months. I tell him I miss him and that I'd drop everything for him in a heart beat. He says he misses me, loves me. Then he asks what happened to us and what we're doing. I asked him, "if we knew the world was ending tomorrow, where would you go? who would you want to spend your last moments with?" He replied with, "you of course, but I'm not sure I would get to you in time" I was a little confused by this. We are only an hour drive from each other. We set a date to hang out, just like we do every couple of months. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. I'm not holding my breath. :(

 

I ended up dreaming of him, except, this was the first dream I've ever had where I didn't physically see him. I guess him saying "I'm not sure I would get to you in time" before I went to bed influenced me to have a dream about him trying to travel from Oregon to California to be with me. We were either talking on the phone or telepathically communicating, but he never got to me.. he kept saying he was almost there, but I eventually woke up, saddened.

 

There was another part of the dream where I was running through a haunted house. It seems I've had this dream before, so it's re-occurring. There are parts of the haunted house I enjoy exploring (stairs, old furniture, library) but another part that is a tight space where I run with my eyes closed and creepy beings pop out, and I think they blew sand or dust onto me. I'm holding someone's hand that I feel is protecting me. I'm not sure whose hand it is that I'm holding..

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It's been awhile since I have been on this site, but when I was reading some of the posts, and getting re-familiar with this site I came across this post, and something about it called me. This reply may be a little late, but perhaps what is said may be of a benefit so someone along this path.

 

I feel the love you have for this man RainyDay, a lot of confusion clouds you, but days will get better when you learn to let him go. I hope your situation has improved.

 

In different stages in our life we will encounter different kinds of people, and have different kinds of relationships, some more meaningful than other. Some we will fall in love with, and some we will grow to hate. It’s Relationships that help with our growth, regardless of the experience.

How we think and feel during the relationship has great impact on the vibrations within the relationship.

 

I found your dream very interesting RainyDay

 

I had a dream about him last night. I used to dream about him a lot more. There was a party at my parents house. He showed up and I was so happy. I looked around and the place was a mess. Then I lost him. I don't know where he went. I tried looking for my cell phone so I could message him but I couldn't find it. I frantically searched for it. Nothing. I just remembered a strange detail of the dream.. I was in my old bedroom at my parents house and looking for the phone then I saw a bunch of kittens outside the window. Some of the glass of the window was broken and I put my hand through and pet the kittens.. (I keep having dreaming of cats recently). I wasn't able to find him so I decided to take a shower. After, I went to the front yard and I saw he was across the street. My first love from middle school was with him (lol what?) My middle school love walked over to me and said what's up and smiled, I said what's up. But my "soul mate" ignored me and rode slowly away on the horse

 

Your dreams about him Rainy Day are taking place because he is active within your thoughts and feelings, Dreams put our subconscious mind in a conscious state, and sometimes allow us to understand what’s going on in our higher conscious mind.

 

The party at your parents house symbolizes your wish fulfillment, him returning after your last split. Your situation is now messy, because you have decided to move on before getting over him. The phone is symbolizing communication that has been lost. Your old bed room is telling you to re-connect with your inner child, this is where your healing will start. Cats are mystical, and feminine in nature, they have highly tuned intuition, the shower is stating a time for cleansing, cleaning yourself of the experience which does require patience. First love from middle school, you no longer have any bad feelings towards him, and he is telling you to let go, because this man you say you love is ready to move on.

 

 

I don't know if I should be wasting all this energy on him. I question even writing about him anymore. But it seems writing helps.

 

It does help, as long as you are learning to let him go, and when you do, you are able to find a new true love.

 

I find the topic of soul mates “cliché”, I'm meant to be with this person, this is the one for me (etc, etc),. I do not dismiss the reality, or the existence of soul mates, because they do exist, and in this incarnation, I have been in relationships with people who I can say were soul mates, souls I have encountered from past lives. Though, none of these experiences led to be “the one” and only forever till death do us part. These soul mates, or all our soul mates, believe it or not, we do have more than one that we may encounter within this incarnation, come along our path as part of our growth, and unfolding to help shape our character, as well as our soul evolution.

 

I hope the sun is shining for you now.

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free-spirit:

 

I havn't logged in for a while either. I happen to log in today and saw your reply to my topic. It was very helpful as I've been thinking a lot about him lately. Once again, I'm trying to let go. I mentioned this in another thread- I recently found out we're actually still married. Now it breaks my heart thinking about a divorce. I'm feeling depressed and I'm having writers block. I don't feel like myself when I'm not in love. Thanks for the well wishes. It's very difficult and confusing, but I am trying to move on...

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