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Moopurple

Feelings for a friend

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Howdy folks,

 

I am having some trouble. I have feelings for a friend.

 

He is an ex boyfriend who I dated for a very short time a few years ago and we have been friends again for like six months. Problem is, a few months ago it suddenly struck me that I really like him, moreso than I did when we dated. I have tried to hint to him how I am feeling but he sort of scooters away from the subject and comments that our attempt at a relationship before was a complete failure.

I agree with him. I didn't want that relationship and I think he resents me a bit for the whole thing, and honestly I don't think he wanted it at the time either. But both of us have matured and I feel a lot differently about the potential now. Only problem being, I have no idea how he feels and I am afraid that if I am clear about how much I like him now that I will just lose the friendship. I don't want that. But I am also not sure if I can subdue my feelings.

 

I am not sure how to deal with this. Is it foolish? I want advice but if anyone has a strong feeling about possible outcome I would appreciate you sharing. I am so conflicted and honestly afraid of rejection. I am not successful in romantic endeavors and I think it's just making me fear all of it.

 

If you have any insight, please share.

 

Thanks,

Moo

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Well I made a decision not to reveal anything to him, not that I've gotten the chance. Ironically, the friendship has been on the steady decline since around the time I asked this question. Love how that happens.

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How did I miss this post before? I'm sorry, Moo. :(. I would've suggested being honest with him, but it seems it worked itself out on its own!

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For some reason I could not stop thinking about the situation this morning. I got really upset thinking about how it seems like he didn't even value the friendship.

 

Then coincidentally he contacted me and asked me why I stopped talking to him and if he did something wrong. I was completely honest about having feelings for him and needing to have space.

 

His response: "Oh"

 

And then an hour later he asked me about some video game.

 

This sort of thing drives me up the wall! Other guys have done the same thing regarding similar situations or if they've upset me otherwise. They just pretend like I didn't say what I said and change the subject.

I know it's probably due to them not exactly knowing how to respond. I suppose he cares, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to ask what was going on. But how ridiculous is it that when I tell him I need space he gets conversational about video games? <_>

 

BAH.. I just needed to vent.

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Hi Moopurple,

I am back - even if only briefly.

Men find it hard to understand us girls. so they will gloss over things and not address issues.

He might feel if he can get you to talk about something neutral, it will either mean he can show he still wants to be friends while changing the subject and not addressing the issues at hand.

Not all men are like this, but I feel many are indirect and can't deal with more full on stuff.

(Just my view as a female, but a male might have a different view.)

Best wishes

Anne-Marie

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