Family relationships are difficult, there’s no doubt about that! These can be the relationships that most trigger us, and push us to our limits, and it can be very difficult to try and resolve the issues, since they are embedded in us when very young. This spread is specifically designed to help us navigate these tricky relationships, to help us shine some light on what we can do, how others may be feeling and the way forward.
This is also a particularly useful spread to heal old childhood wounds and to understand the influence that our parents may have had on us. We call carry parts of our Mother and/or Father, and it can be extremely helpful to see if their influence has been more negative or positive, and what we can do to resolve the past.
This reading can also be expanded to include siblings, and although this particular spread has one card for siblings, we can certainly add more or less cards to symbolise different family members, even our grandparents or our Uncles and Aunts. If we are adopted, we can use this spread for our adoptive parents, or can use it to shed some light on the biological parents we have never met.
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The Healing Family Relationships reading can be incredibly karmic and powerful in nature, and once we begin to see the patterns that bind us to a certain behaviour, we can become more conscious and learn to make different choices, rather than be trapped in struggle or negative behavioural patterns. The entire purpose of the tarot is to make us more aware and conscious, and this reading does precisely that.
It can be useful to perhaps do this reading with a family member, the one that we feel closest to perhaps, like a sibling or one of our parents, provided they are willing to listen to the advice and guidance that this reading offers. This reading can open up a road to healing between family members, and is much cheaper than counselling! If not, we can certainly do this reading just on our own and learn a great deal from it – it is them up to us whether or not we would like to share our findings with our family, but bear in mind that many people won’t appreciate knowing you have pried into them – proceed with caution here! Some family members may also be quite traditional, and may believe that the tarot is the “devil’s work” so use your discretion at these times.
How the Relationship Spread Tarot Reading Works
This ten card spread is a big one, so we have to go slowly and carefully, working through each card with care and insight. It can be an overwhelming spread for newbies, so we advise to perhaps just start with the Mother and Father cards at first, and slowly work our way around the rest of our family members.
The very first card, of course is the “Me” card – the card that represents us in the family dynamic. This is the card at the very centre of the spread where the rest of the cards are laid out around. The card to the left of us, is the Mother card as left governs our Feminine, and the card to the right is of course the Father card, as right represents the masculine energy.
Below the Mother card is the “Mother’s influence” card, showing the influence that our mom may have had on us, and we have the same card underneath the Father to show his influence on us.
Beneath these influence cards, would be the “Advice” cards to show what advice we need to heed when dealing with each of these family members.
We can stop here, if this is enough information, or we can do the exact same for our siblings – we can choose to add just one (the one we are having challenges with) or all of them. We can simply lay them below the Mother and Father cards according to their genders – one card for a sibling representing them, one card for their influence on us, and one card for the Advice we need about them.
Interpreting the Spread, Card by Card
Card Number One: Me
This card shows YOU in the family dynamic and how your energy is seen / projected, how you might be feeling in relationship to your family and where you stand. This card can be positive or negative, and certainly subject to change depending on the current family situation, so it can be good to do this reading from time to time to see how things have developed for you.
Card Number Two: My Mother
This card of course represents your mom, and where she sits in the family dynamic, what her energy is like and how she might been seen by the rest of you. Once again, this card can be positive or negative, and can be subject to change over time.
Card Number Three: My Father
This card represents your dad, and where he sits in the family dynamic, what his energy is like and how he might been seen by the rest of you. It can be interesting to note which of these two cards have a more profound impact on your, which one can make you emotionally react more strongly – this is a big key to understanding these relationships.
Card Number Four: My Mother’s influence on me
This card talks about you Mother’s influence on you, for good or for ill, and this can be a particularly insightful and profound card to work through. It can hint of a karmic blueprint perhaps.
Card Number Five: My Father’s influence on me
Here we have the card that communicates your dad’s influence on you, and once again it can be very useful to compare which of the two “influence” cards have a more visceral reaction from you.
Card Number Six: Advice on my Mother
This card shows what advice you need to take around your mother and her influence on you, and is a card of action and forward movement, where you can do something positive to shift the potentially challenging situation.
Card Number Seven: Advice on my Father
Like the advice on the Mother card, this card shows what you can positively do to shift the impact of your Father, or perhaps how you may even help one or both of your parents over a challenging time.
Card Number Eight: My Sibling
This card represents one of your siblings (and remember, you can do more if you like, or use other family members here) and how their energy is seen, how they may be feeling in relation to the family dynamic, and what they are projecting.
Card Number Nine: My Sibling’s influence on me
This shows the relationship and influence your sibling has on and with you, and can certainly help shine a light into some of your reactions to them in life, becoming a useful tool for healing.
Card Number Ten: Advice on my Sibling
This guiding card is a lovely one to help you take positive action around the relationship with your sibling, and perhaps help you to guide and advise them if they need it, and to have more compassion in your relationship together.
Top Tips for understanding the Relationship Spread Tarot Reading :
There are a few tips that can be very useful when doing this reading which we’d like to share with you :
- Firstly, play with your spread – use different family members, do your whole family tree or just do a spread using your Mother. It’s up to you how much work you’d like to do here and you can come back to this spread again and again whenever you like.
- Work with one of your siblings – why not? If you have a fairly positive relationship, then this can be a lot of fun to do together and full of growth for each of you.
- Try use new words if you like for the spread. For example, instead of “influence”, you can use the word “lesson”. Get creative!
Example of a Spread:
Sandra had a tough life; she grew up poor and her parents were always arguing over money, and they had addiction problems. She only has one brother who is much younger than her, and there is intense sibling rivalry between them. She has never felt close to her parents because of the past wounds they had inflicted, although she and them are both trying to work through the past and heal.
Card Number One: Sandra
The card pulled here is the Nine of Swords. This card is a very difficult one for Sandra, revealing that the mental pain and difficulty around her family relationships is very challenging. The card shows a young woman crying in bed with nine swords above her head, having nightmares and insomnia, anxiety and depression. She may perhaps feel as if she is alone in her grief. The nine shows that the suffering is nearly at and end, being so close to ten, the final number, and the swords reveal the suffering on a mental level. Sandra might be reliving her childhood experiences, and might even be worrying too much about her family.
Card Number Two: Sandra’s Mother
The card pulled here is the Six of Swords – more of the mental energy as per the Nine of Swords. One may link these two and perhaps see that both Sandra and her Mother may be suffering in this way. The Six of Swords depicts a woman leaving on a boat with a child, and hiding her face. The one side of the water is calm, the other side is choppy, showing moving from turmoil to quiet, yet at the same time there is deep and silent suffering here, and perhaps very big secrets. Sandra’s mother, it turns out, had a previous child and is carrying deep grief around this child which has played a big part in her relationship to Sandra, and perhaps made her more withdrawn, giving her the addiction problem she has had to escape the pain.
Card Number Three: Sandra’s Father
The card pulled her is the Five of Pentacles. Fives in the Tarot always carry the element of change, usually difficult change. Pentacles is money and resources, and the card shows two very poor people in rags, one injured and limping. The card depicts financial suffering, which is precisely what Sandra’s father experienced and how he related to the family on that level – continually financially stressed. Comparing mom and dad, we see avoidance in the six of swords, and poverty in the five of pentacles, both difficult cards which represents the parents in relationship to Sandra.
Card Number Four: Sandra’s Mother’s influence on her
A Major Arcana is pulled here, and this card shows that Sandra’s mom had a very powerful and actually fairly positive effect on her – the card is the Wheel of Fortune, showing that Sandra’s mom’s influence was one in which she taught Sandra to accept change, and that no matter what happens, things will always shift. Her influence was to teach Sandra adaptability and to trust in the goodness of life – that things will always be alright. Growth is a theme of this card, and so Sandra’s mom had a profound way of giving growth – even if difficult – to Sandra.
Card Number Five: Sandra’s Father’s influence on her
This card also shows a very positive influence – it is the Strength card, which is another Major Arcana. This interpretation is simple – Sandra’s father taught her how to be strong despite challenges, how to be kind to herself, how to face her problems in life. he may have influenced her by showing her how to tame and be compassionate with her more primal nature, and even though he was poor, his own strength shone through to her.
Card Number Six: Advice for Sandra about her Mother
This card is the Queen of Pentacles. The Queen of Pentacles represents a grounded woman, someone who is financially stable and caring, and this card shows that despite what Sandra’s mom has been through, she is now more stable and able to lend financial assistance to Sandra if she needs it. She has come a long way since the Six of Pentacles. Perhaps Sandra can begin to move away form the pain of the card that represents her, the Nine of Swords, once she begins to realise how much has changed as shown by the Wheel of Fortune.
Card Number Seven: Advice for Sandra about her Father
The card pulled here is the Three of Swords. The advice one may offer Sandra here is to allow her pain and tears as shown by the nine of swords to flow and learn to accept the heartbreak of her youth, to acknowledge the perhaps piercing words as depicted by the swords and how they may have harmed her, and to move past that to a place of forgiveness. First, she has to become aware of her her heart may have been broken and how that could influence her relationship with her father.
Card Number Eight: Sandra’s Brother
The card here is another Major Arcana, the Judgement Card. This card can show her Brother feeling deeply judged by the family, which has always made him insecure and unsure of himself. Sandra is an achiever, and he is not, which is a hurdle he may feel hard to get past.
Card Number Nine: Sandra’s Brother’s influence on her
This card is the World. It is a generally positive card, just like her parents’ influence on Sandra, which shows that despite whatever may have happened in the past, the ultimate influences in Sandra have been positive in the end. The World might show that the influence her brother had on her was to heap praise on her for completing everything she did, that he deeply admired her and her seeming wholeness, how light and accomplished she was, which made Sandra feel very good about herself.
Card Number Ten: Advice for Sandra about her Brother
The card pulled for Sandra here is more difficult – the Devil card. This card represents addiction, and considering the addiction that runs in her family, Sandra should be warned that her brother might be subject to the same pattern, The action she can perhaps take is to keep an eye on him, to realise that he might be operating under the influence of addiction, dependency, illusion and may be in a state that is somewhat materialistic at the moment.
All in all, the reading shows a mix of positive and negative influences, and it’s important for sandra to remember the positive influences her family has had on her, and to work on her relationship to her Brother especially, seeing as all the cards she pulled for him were Major cards, showing a powerful spiritual journey and karmic influence.
Pros and Cons of a Healing Family Relationships Tarot Reading
- This reading can be extremely powerful in healing and understanding family relationships.
- Those who are more experienced can have a lot of fun adding family members, or even dong an entire family tree!
- This reading is very versatile and can be adapted to suit the size of your family, or you can even just work with one family member!
- If you are not ready to get insight into your family, it can be difficult to work through the cards.
- This can be an overwhelming reading to do for newbies, as there are a lot of cards, and so the advice is to start with one at a time.
Where can I get an Accurate Tarot or Psychic Reading online?
It can sometimes be very useful to do this kind of reading alongside advice from someone who can offer you more insight into the relationships with your family and how to heal the wounds. And so, we have compiled a list of our favourite Psychic websites to help you on your journey –
Like the name promises, all you have to do is log on to this website and ask your question, as easy as 1-2-3! They have a fantastic option to ask a FREE question, which lets you “feel it out” if you are unsure or if this is your first time.
Keen boasts 14 million satisfied customers – how much more information do you need? Few websites can promise more than they can, and their stats are very impressive indeed. Their reviews are reassuring and convey confidence in the process.
Kasamba offers live chats, and they give you three free minutes with EACH new advisor to find the right fit for you.
This website offers a smorgasbord of options, from Love and Relationship advice to Tarot, Dream Interpretation and Astrology – and much more!