38 Sneaky ‘Is He Cheating?’Signs To Confirm Your Suspicions
Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid?
Cheating is one of the most difficult issues to deal with. If you’ve ever asked the question is he cheating or am I paranoid, then you are not alone. It happens to the best of us.
Trust is vital in a relationship, but sometimes trust that has been broken in the past can infiltrate your new relationships and other times, that hunch you have is spot on. Especially because broken trust in relationships can be devastating mentally, emotionally and psychologically. The consequences of this experience can last a lifetime.
What makes matters worse is that if he is cheating he is going to do his best to cover his tracks and assure you that he’s not cheating. It’s not surprising then that so many people are constantly in a loop of paranoia, continually asking themselves ‘is he cheating or am I paranoid?’.
Face Your ‘Is He Cheating’ Fears…
Then we have other types of people who have a hunch, a feeling of impending doom or a voice at the back of our mind constantly asking ‘is he cheating?’. In this position it’s easy to want to avoid the facts or to justify their partners actions. Because they want things to work out so badly.
Not wanting to admit anything is wrong is a natural thing to do, but it doesn’t necessarily help you if he is cheating.
The thing is, whether he is cheating or not it’s something that you need to get to the bottom of. To attain closure and move forward in your life either in a continued healthy relationship with your current partner, or so you can kick that cheater to the curb and find yourself someone worthwhile and trustworthy.
Knowing Doesn’t Mean Having To Act Right Away!
It’s a hard situation but we all have to start somewhere, and the way to resolve it is to begin to look out for the ‘is he cheating signs’. You don’t have to do anything right away if your suspicions are confirmed. You can take time to prepare yourself. But knowing the answers to your ‘is he cheating on me’ questions puts you in control.
So we put on our sleuth caps and to come up with the ultimate guide to answering your ‘is he cheating’ suspicions.
Here are 38 Is He Cheating Signs To Help You Take Control Of Your Relationship Right now.
1: He’s Paying More Attention To His Appearance …
… and it’s not to reignite your relationship!
It’s entirely possible that he’s working on his appearance to impress you. So don’t jump the gun right away. He might also be improving his appearance to improve his confidence. However, if he’s working on his appearance, including changing his style and he is showing other signs of cheating too chances are your suspicions that he’s cheating might be correct.
2: His Phone Habits Have Changed
There was a time when he was very carefree about his phone. He may have been open about his passcode, happy to browse his phone while you were in his company. Maybe he even allowed you to use his phone anytime you want to. But now things have changed:
His message alert pops up, but the message summary no longer shows and he doesn’t read the messages right away.
- His password changes.
- When challenged he might leave the phone out for you to see – locked of course and only when he knows he’s not going to get any secretive messages.
- His message and browsing history is clear. All the time.
- He forgets his phone. A lot (a potential sign that he has a burner phone!).
3: His Sexual Habits Suddenly Change
If he’s cheating you might find that he’s suddenly more active in the bedroom (to compensate for his guilt) or there’s no sex on the agenda. Usually any changes in sexual habits in a settled relationship arise from a discussion and don’t come with any other cheating signs.
4: He Suddenly Likes New Food Or Drinks
When you like people, you try their tastes and embrace new experiences they offer. So if your partner suddenly has new tastes, you might want to question where he got his inspiration from. Though, this could all be innocent too, all you need to do is connect the dots (AKA compare the other is he cheating signs).
5: He’s Not As Intimate As He Once Was
Intimacy is different to sex. It’s all the ways that you connect with each other, invoke trust and understanding and build your life together. If he suddenly feels more like a stranger – something is up.
6: He Seems To Be Critical Of You …
… or the opposite; surprisingly supportive
Guilt is usually the culprit for these behaviours. The question is what’s he guilty about?
7: He’s Busy All The Time
He might be genuinely busy, but he might also be busy cheating with somebody else and creating excuses for his whereabouts.
8: He Has A Dating Profile, Or Hasn’t Taken His Profile Down
This is a major red flag alert. There’s really no excuse. Whatever the reason is for having these profiles they don’t convey commitment.
9: He Hides Receipts
Another major red flag. Why is he hiding his receipts what has he been buying that is so suspicious …
This is a classic sign of deception.
10: Both Of You Are Unhappy or Dis-satisfied.
Not all cheaters set out to cheat. Some do so because they are unhappy but don’t want to leave the relationship. This is not an obvious sign of cheating, there needs to be other signs to support it but it is something important to consider.
11. Begins To Enjoy New ‘Out Of Character’ Things.
Much like the new tastes, he might develop new weird hobbies. Even worse he happens to have a female friend who participates in the hobbies to – who he can’t resist mentioning…
12: He Is Moody, Or Unusually Calm
Guilt may be the culprit for the mood swings. Trying to maintain normality is probably the cause for the calm behaviours. There’s an issue here that probably needs your attention and could signify that he is indeed cheating.
13: He Is Preoccupied
No-one is so superhuman that they can be focused on two lives at the same time. Nor can they hide love and infatuation very well either. If he’s too preoccupied it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
14: He Offers To Show You His Texts And Emails
Of course, if he’s guilty of cheating, he offers to show you to throw you off the scent. Although this can also be a legitimate way of proving he has nothing to hide too. If he has shady phone habits, and does this too, he’s either hoping you don’t check his phone or he’s cleared the phone in advance, of any evidence of cheating.
15: He Gets Defensive When Confronted About Your Cheating Concerns
Defensive behaviour is a classic control drama. It’s common to use intimidation such as defensive behaviour to shut a situation down. It may not only signify he’s cheating though. It could also highlight his frustration if he’s not cheating.
16: His Family And Friends Seem A Little Distant Or Embarrassed Around You.
His family and friends may know he’s cheating, or may suspect. Whether they support him or not, they’ll feel uncomfortable around you because of their guilt by association.
17: He Hides His Finances …
… Or Changes Your Financial Arrangements
If goes as far as to change your financial arrangements and you are questioning whether he’s cheating on you this is a huge red flag. It’s a red flag anyway, unless he clearly explains why he’s changing things. If he’s hiding his finances from you and he didn’t do this before, you have to question why? Something is not right.
18: He’s Not As Concerned About You And Your Needs
… Or WellBeing!
If he’s not paying attention to you and your needs, it’s probably because he either has something on his mind (question is what?) or he has disconnected from you.
19: Some Of His Clothes Are Missing
Maybe he’s aware that his clothes could smell of his other woman. So he leaves them at ‘hers’ so that she can wash the scent away. Watch out for his clothes smelling of different washing powder scents to your usual one too!
20: He Clears His Browsing History
He’s hiding something. One guy we were familiar with always cleared his messages if he was cheating or not. But, he did cheat regularly. It’s an unusual practice to religiously clear messages down unless the guy has some sort of OCD.
21: He Over Explains Himself
Another sign of guilt and also a sign that if he’s cheating you could probably catch him out quickly since he hasn’t fully mastered the art of deception and can’t keep his mouth from moving!
22: He Has A Second Phone or Email Account
It might be difficult to determine if he has secondary accounts but a bit of research and observation about how he uses his technology now compared to how he used to might provide a clue.
23: He Stops Saying I Love You
We are sorry to say but if he’s cheating he is probably questioning his love for you. Or he doesn’t tell you he loves you because of his guilt.
24: His Style Changes
He starts to wear a very different style of clothes and looks unusually put together. Maybe this is because he’s cheating and he’s been out shopping with his mistress. He may not always wear this style around you though, if he doesn’t its an even bigger red flag.
25: He Showers Out Of His Usual Routine
He’s not going to want you to smell his other woman, or his activities with the other woman! If he’s said he has been to work, he’s going to need to smell like he’s been at work. Which might lead him to head straight to the shower before anything else when he returns home.
26: You Can Smell Another Woman
Of course, he may have innocently hugged a friend or colleague. But if that scent happens more than one or two times, and it’s not his Mom or sister’s perfume that’s a little close for comfort!
27: He Mentions A New Colleague, Or Friend Regularly
It’s actually psychologically difficult to avoid talking about people we admire. So if he hasn’t stopped talking to you altogether chances are he’ll mention his mistress, especially if he has feelings for her.
28: You Find Holes In His Stories
Pay attention to the holes in his stories. It’s a clear sign of deception and may confirm your ‘is he cheating’ suspicions! Also watch how he covers up his stories when you challenge them.
29: He’ll Let You Believe You Are Paranoid
What better way to throw you off the scent if he’s cheating than to let you believe you are indeed paranoid. This is a cruel strategy but if he is cheating and he doesn’t have too much guilt, he might think it’s perfectly ok to let you feel this way.
A guy like this is not a keeper that’s for sure. You are better off without them!
30: He Starts Doing His Own Washing
If he hasn’t left his clothes from his guilty antics for his mistress to tend to, chances are he’ll suddenly decide to be helpful and put the washing on. Or even offer to make washing a chore he takes care of from now on. Watch out this could be a sign he’s cheating.
31: You Find Strange Hairs, Or Splodges Of Makeup In Random Places
Thankfully a lot of makeup transfers. As does perfume. Which means that if you find make up on him, or worse on your bed sheets, towels, furniture or in his car then it’s a huge clue that he’s cheating. Women also shed hair – a lot. You could find them on his clothes and belongings, or even in your own bed and shower (we hope not). If you do though. It’s time to recognise that you are probably not being paranoid.
32: His Routine Changes
Sure this might just be life, but it can also signify that he’s cheating. Especially if it changes for no good reason and it’s out of character. If he is cheating, he has to make some room for the mistress in his life somehow.
33: Your Gut Instinct Is Screaming
There’s nothing better than a womans intuition. If it’s screaming there’s something you need to pay attention to. If you are unsure if he’s cheating or if you are paranoid, raise the issue with a trusted friend who knows you well. They will help you figure things out.
34: Your Friends Are Concerned Or Have Begun To Dislike Him
Talking of friends and also intuition, how many times have your friends been right about a man in your life. How many times have you been right about your friends relationships. Women have an uncanny ability to see things for what they are when it comes to their friends. Chances are some of them have started to smell a rat and have begun to avoid him, express their concerns, or even check to see if you are happy. It would help you if you shared your concerns. They’ll probably get right into action to help you get to the bottom of things.
35: His Passenger Seat Has Moved
Even worse, it’s moved and he goes out of his way to explain why it’s moved. This could be innocent too but when combined with other concerns, it can point in the direction of cheating.
36: The Way He Carries Himself Has Changed
He may have a spring in his step and bounces around the house like Tigger. On the other hand he may become more aloof, hunched, or avoids eye contact. There will be something to cause this sudden change and it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
37: He Begins To Use New and Different Words and Phrases.
When we admire people, we’ll pick up their phrases and words. It’s a natural thing. If he starts to speak in a similar manner to that girl he goes to cross fit (his new hobby) with or that colleague he talks a lot about. It’s a serious red flag that he’s emotionally invested in her.
38: He Becomes Jealous …
… and even worse, starts questioning you about your whereabouts.
What you project you perceive. So if he’s feeling guilty about cheating on you, chances are he’ll start to question whether you are cheating too. If this situation occurs out of the blue it’s time to question why.
The First Steps To Finding Peace Of Mind
Most likely you’ve already realised that many of these signs could reflect other innocent or not so innocent situations presented by life. A lack of sexual desire could highlight depression or a lack of confidence. A random hair could be a colleague’s hair picked up from a chair or sitting next to them. But when there are more than one sign, and these signs start to build up the all roads point to cheating.
Which leads us to the second part of this article.
How to catch a cheater!
It’s not a great feeling when you begin to suspect that you partner might be cheating. Especially when you have no proof.
Not only will your concerns never pass until you find the truth, but if you love your partner, and can’t imagine life without them, you may want to brush the feeling aside and pretend everything is normal.
That approach may help you delay the inevitable for a little longer but every day that you doubt your partner is another day where you lose yourself.
Eventually the truth will come out, so it’s better to be prepared and to help you do just that, here is our 3 Step Guide on how to catch a cheater.
Step 1: Remember, you can’t catch a cheater if he or she is not a cheater.
Sometimes when you try to catch a cheater, you may discover that there is nothing to worry about and your partner is still totally committed to you. So the first step for catching a cheater really should be to slow down and check in with your gut instinct.
It’s not unusual to be acting out of paranoia if you are trying to catch a cheater.
This can happen for many reasons and mostly because we all have emotional triggers which trigger feelings of insecurity in a flash.
These triggers can be:
- An incident
- A way of communicating
- How your partner shows affection.
According to Gary Chapman, Author of Five Love Languages, your partner may just be communicating in a different love language than you.
It’s wise to take a step back and listen to your gut instinct before you go ahead and potentially destroy an otherwise great relationship.
Step 2: Determine – is he cheating or are you paranoid?
Determining whether you are paranoid or not is beneficial for three reasons:
- It can protect you from potentially sabotaging a relationship unnecessarily.
- You won’t be vulnerable to manipulation, gas-lighting, or any other tactics that may be instigated by your cheating partner when confronted.
- Protects you from doubting yourself and gives you the nudge you might need to plan to leave the relationship.
Here are some ways you might determine, if he is cheating or if you are paranoid.
Talk to TWO trusted friends
Talk to trusted friends who will be honest with you, even if you are wrong. Who will support you as you disclose your concerns without judgement. And who will help you figure out how to move forward.
We suggest two friends because on rare occasions, the person who is cheating with your partner could be a friend. By choosing two friends to talk to, you protect yourself from further confusion if your friend happens to be the one cheating.
Speak to a psychic
All we need to alleviate our paranoia is to know the reality, and that’s where a GOOD psychic can help.
Psychics may not be able to tell you who your partner is cheating with, where they are, and how they are cheating.
But many can confirm whether your concern is real or not. They may even provide you with information on the best ways to catch a cheater if you ask them to.
Step 3: Plan for what you will do if you catch a cheater
It will be difficult on you mentally and emotionally if you do indeed catch a cheater – especially if that cheater is your partner or spouse. As you can imagine, It’s essential to prepare for this.
Prepare Yourself Emotionally and Mentally
The last thing you need if you catch a cheater is to have to deal with the shock and trauma while confronting your partner.
Emotional overwhelm, grief, and anxiety about the future may prevent you from dealing with the issue practically and may be too much to bear. Facing the possibility of a break-up if you realise your partner is cheating reduces the impact of the trauma in the future.
Plan to Defend Against Emotional Manipulation
Cheaters will try to lie and cheat their way out of your accusations when confronted. And because you love them and may not want to experience the reality of a cheating partner, you may decide to believe the lies. This strategy may help you relieve your pain in the moment, but it won’t help you in the long term.
If your partner is cheating, they won’t stop because you decided to believe their lies, they’ll just get smarter.
You’ll hold firm and remain logical during the confrontation stage if you make plans to support you when you confront your cheating partner. Creating an exit plan is a great way to put up some defenses!
Step 4: Carefully collect evidence of cheating
Here are 16 ways of collecting evidence to catch a cheater
1. Go where they are not expecting you
Turn up occasionally to speak to your partner when they are out. For example, if he or she says they are going to the gym, turn up there. Just make sure you’ve got a good enough excuse.
Other ideas are meeting them from work for a ‘surprise date’. The idea here is to find out if your partner is going where they say they are going and not into the arms of a secret lover.
2. Change your plans
Say you are going to be home later than you plan to be and then come back early. Or, say you are going away for a few days and come home early – unannounced.
Make an excuse for cutting the trip short and for why you didn’t let your partner know you were coming home early.
3. Watch for subliminal signs.
If you didn’t catch your partner out when you came home early, watch how they reacted to your unannounced arrival.
Similarly, when you ask questions or turn up for a ‘surprise’ date, clock their response. You may not make sense out of these hunches now, but they may make sense further on.
4. Ask specific questions rather than throw accusations.
When you throw accusations, you shut-down your partner and put them on the defensive. It also creates a hostile environment, which won’t encourage your partner to be honest about any cheating.
Instead, ask specific questions and watch your partner’s reaction.
Try asking questions such as ‘did you really go to the gym on Thursday or did you go somewhere else?’. Or, ‘how did you feel when I turned up for our surprise date, really?’.
Finally, ask, ‘are you cheating?’.
5. Sleuth around the home
Check the bedding, car and towels for makeup, scent and hair that is not yours. Hopefully, your partner wouldn’t cheat in your home, but you never know.
Take this idea one step further and take a photo of the evidence. That way, you can show the proof when you are confronting your partner about your cheating suspicions.
You can also look back at it to retain your resolve when you experience denials and emotional manipulation.
6.Watch your partner’s patterns.
Does your partner shower as soon as they get home? Have they switched up their image? Do they shave before a particular event when they wouldn’t have in the past
If you spot any of these signs stay alert. Look for patterns and consider surprising them at the activities and outings they are preparing for in the future.
7. Dig Around on your partners’ phone
It may be common sense for cheaters to delete text messages, or to use generic names for their lovers.
If your partner is advanced, they may use apps to hide content on their phone. So digging around on your partner’s phone may show up something. Perhaps one day they forget to delete their emails or pictures.
Even if they are uber slick about their cheating habits, you can always resort to a ‘spy app’. There’s more coming up on that.
8. Track him or her!
If your partner has an iPhone, it will be pre-installed with the ‘Find My Phone’ app, which means that if you know your partner’s Apple ID and password you can find out where your partner is.
Failing that, you could convince your partner to turn his or her location services on. Or to download the ‘Find My Friends’ app. Although he or she may be smart enough to turn it off when they are not where they are supposed to be.
You can also check what your partner has accidentally uploaded to the cloud, especially if you check ‘My Photo Stream’.
9. Stalk him on social media
This one needs little explanation, but even looking at your partner’s activity on social media and who they talk to, can show up some insights into what he or she is up to online.
Try searching ‘friends of [insert your partners’ name]’ and see if there is anyone who shows up in that search (that your partner talks about a lot) for clues.
You could also search ‘photos [PARTNER] has liked’ or even ‘photos [suspicious person has liked]’.
10. Install a spy app
We’ve mentioned a spy app a couple of times because they are well worth considering. Spy apps are mobile phone apps that target phone and then monitors and gains information from the target phone.
These kinds of apps can record text messages, phone calls, photos and other sensitive information. And the beauty of a spy app is that it runs in the background, so is undetectable by the target phone user.
There are different spy apps on the market. Most of them work similarly; you install the app on the target phone, then enter a license key. Then you get to monitor the activity from the website on your computer, phone or iPad.
11. Call a psychic
Psychics are great for helping you to understand if you are paranoid in your pursuit of catching a cheater. But they are also useful for helping you to figure out how to confront a cheater what to expect from them when you confront them, how you will feel, and what you should do about it.
Remember though. You need a good psychic. Many great psychics hang around on reputable sites, some of which we’ve featured below to help you find the right psychic for you.
12. Check the trash for evidence
As extreme as it may be, this old school approach may turn up some information. Especially in the form of suspicious receipts, gift wrapping and photos etc.
The trash on your partners’ phone and computer is also worth checking.
While we’re on the subject of checking a computer, check out the ‘recents’ file if your partner has a Mac. It’s surprising what lurks in that folder!
13. Install a Hidden Camera
It’s a bit extreme but … if you install secret cameras around the home you can record what your partner does with their phone when you leave the room. You can also record any telephone conversations. You can even install one in the car.
14. Hire a private investigator
Hiring a private investigator may not be cheap, but it will probably get the job done efficiently and without your partner knowing. Which means that if they are innocent, they’ll never know that you doubted them.
Plus it will be easier on you if someone else catches your partner cheating than you having to witness it for yourself.
15. Follow him or her
Be your own private investigator. This option may be long-winded, but if you can’t budget for a private investigator, then you might consider doing the next best thing. Just don’t get caught! It’s also important to consider how you will feel or react if you do catch a cheater.
You should be sure you’re catching a cheater before you share your evidence with them. The last thing you will want to do is sabotage a great relationship by admitting to snooping if your partner is innocent. Nothing good is going to come from that.
You’ll also need to consider that if you do snoop, there is always the fear of getting caught. Less invasive ways to catch a cheater that won’t look so bad if your partner is innocent are:
- The spy app
- Asking questions
- Calling a psychic
Though it’s vital that if you do decide to call a psychic, you contact a reputable one, and you’ll need to ensure that the spy app software you choose is genuine and trustworthy.